Anyone experienced miscarriages before AND after having children

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Sorry this is a very specific scenario and wasn't sure where to post it but wondering if anyone has been in this situation?

I have a condition which causes miscarriages. I can have living children but my chance of miscarrying a pregnancy is much higher than normal.

Before my one and only DC, I had a lot of miscarriages and was extremely low and depressed.

I'm now at the crossroads of do I try again for a 2nd knowing I'm likely to experience losses.

Part of me feels I won't struggle as much mentally as I do now have my child and a huge part of it before was wondering if I'd ever be a mum at all whereas that wouldn't be the same now as I'm already a mum (hope that makes sense!) But the other part of me worries I'm being too naive and simplistic and I don't want to spend my child's young years being a depressed mess again.

So.... Anyone who's experienced loss before having children and then again after having children, was it easier when you already had DC? I know no one can tell me how I'll feel, just looking to have a chat about it with people who may know.

Thanks

I know this isn't quite what you're asking, but I had five losses before my first successful pregnancy. My son is now almost 15 months old and I am 3 months pregnant again without any miscarriages in between.

But mine were unexplained, so not sure how relevant this is to you.

💐

This probably isn't the answer you want so apologies in advance.

I had several MC prior to DS1, they were hideous and I was heartbroken.

I had one MC after DS1 was born, and for me it was worse. I had let my guard down after having a successful pregnancy. Prior to DS1 I never got to imagine my baby being a real person, growing, achieving things etc. so that pregnancy I was thinking about them being born and all the stages, they were a person already in my mind.

I got through it though, ds1 was a lovely distraction and I did go on to have ds2.

You are probably in a better place than me, because you are thinking about it in advance. I really hope it works for you.

Not the same circumstances as I only had miscarriages between child 1 and 2 (I have 3) but I have PCOS and miscarriages are more likely and I had fertility treatment. Why I’m commenting is I def agree that things do feel different when you already have a child. I approached fertility treatment (and miscarriages) in a much more relaxed way than the first time. I viewed the miscarriages as a disappointment only (they were early) and I always knew that we were already a family. If you think you could do that, then I’d go for it, knowing that you can stop at any point.

I have had a much more relaxed first trimester than I did last time, even though I didn't expect it to work first time and thought I would have more miscarriages. I think it's because I already have a child, whereas last time I was afraid I would never have one.

And also I guess because I know my body can do it, so a successful pregnancy isn't impossible.

My very first pregnancy ended in mc at 6 weeks. Then I had dc. Ttc again at 44 but had 3 chemicals and a mmc at 8 weeks. Then stopped ttc..

I had MC, DC1, MC, DC2. The second miscarriage was easier but still sad. I don't think 'what if' about that one as much as the first one. Having said that I'd DC2's pregnancy hadn't worked out we wouldn't have tried again.

Yes.

Three losses before Miracle Baby inc a ruptured ectopic.

Just had my second ectopic pregnancy. No tubes left and too old for IVF to work so now am completely infertile.

Makes my Miracle Baby even more miraculous. I haven’t started processing it yet, tbh, but even though I’m broken it’s nothing like the pain of believing you’ll never be able to be a mum.

I had miscarriages and a still born before my living DD and miscarriages after her birth. The latter MCs were easier, having already had a living child in my arms

I had a miscarriage at 18/19 weeks pregnant before having DC1. It was devastating and I found it very difficult to cope with. I then had a miscarriage between DC1 & 2. I found this one much easier to deal with, partly because it was much earlier in the pregnancy but also because I was busy with a 3 yr old. I would say the miscarriages were a key factor in our decision not to have a 3rd, particularly from my husband’s point of view as he really did not want us to go through it again.

Six miscarriages before DC, then an ectopic pregnancy. Then a total hysterectomy aged 42 for suspicious ovarian cyst ( normal thank goodness)