If your child is starting school this year…

[Preeeschooler]

What can they do?

My child can (almost) write his name, but no other words/letters, he can do simple adding and recognise numbers to 10. Can recognise some letters. No reading beyond sometimes noticing it’s his name.

Conversation at pre school gates this morning have me wondering if he’s massively behind!

Starting reception or starting school nursery?

Reception

The issue won’t be knowing numbers and letters and reading and counting- Are they practically ready!!
can your child, put on their shoes, get dressed and undressed, use cutlery, carry their lunch and use a toilet independently?

This is what reception is for IME. Nursery will be doing ‘school readiness’ which I think is things like knives and forks, getting changed for PE, recognising their name (for pegs etc). Each school (round here at least) seems to teach writing differently so no point trying beforehand unless you know the school’s approach. DS’s does cursive from day 1 for example, other local school does not.

DS2 is starting in sept, can write name, can play nicely, can invite others to join in games. Recently has been doing 2+2=4 type sums but that’s because big bro is a maths nerd. Don’t worry about it!

Sounds fine to me. What’s more important is can he take himself to the toilet independently, put his coat on and off (and ditto jumper), sit nicely for a few minutes, listen to instructions, feed himself etc?

School will teach him the rest.

Thats a relief! Emotionally and socially he’s sound, pre school teachers are always complimenting his independence and behaviour/interactions with other kids, he just has zero interest in any formal learning.

is my pre school an anomaly then with lots of them writing in sentences/reading books?

My son can write his name, he can also pretty much copy anything I write (handy for getting him to do cards!) recognise numbers to 20 and count much higher than that. He is also really really good at drawing (not just my opinion, nursery said so too). He is quite 'advanced' compared to a lot in his nursery class BUT he's one of the oldest in the year, which makes a big difference at this age.

In contrast, my older son could literally not hold a pencil when he went to school. Couldn't even draw beyond a scribble with a crayon held in a fist. I can't remember number stuff, but he was very very behind generally. Now he's just finished P2 (Scotland) and he's one of the best in his class at writing, his teacher is really pleased with his reading and he's where he needs to be with everything. You wouldn't know any difference between him and his peers at all, the ones who were really advanced are not any different now really. I expect this will happen with my younger DS so am not smug about him!

They all seem to level out, I was absolutely gobsmacked that my older DS could write his name and a few other words within a month or so at school, his progress was incredible.

Btw, we haven't parented them any differently and they went to the same nursery. The only difference really is the fact that my younger son had an older sibling.

All they need to do is vaguely be able to attempt to write their name and manage their self-care mostly independently. People love to tell you how their 4 year old is already reading Chaucer, but honestly it doesn’t matter and is no advantage. Mine can sort of write his name and can mostly count to 20, but not recognise any numbers or letters which is just fine for preschool. At this age, they mostly just need to play in mud and learn to make friends.

I am a Reception teacher and I couldn’t care less if children start school knowing all their sounds, writing their names, adding, taking away or even reading. It’s my job to teach them that stuff. I’d much rather they were able to recognise their name, follow a simple instruction, communicate with staff, attempt to put their coat on by themselves or take themselves off to the toilet. None of my children this year entered Reception reading and the vast majority of them can now read simple sentences. Please don’t put pressure on yourself.

When my now 11yo started Primary she could barely count to 10, couldn't recognise any letters, wouldn't speak to people.

Shes finishing Primary school as a confident if reserved young person, complete bookwork, advanced in maths and very independent practical minded.

Knowing how to listen, recognising their name when spoken (not a pet name), getting their coat on/off etc is what they need.

Good luck.

Similar to above poster. I'm not going to write it all down because I know how MN hates a stealth brag but having an older sibling makes a big difference!

Honestly you just can’t tell, those that have learnt one way to “read” may struggle when they are confronted with phoenics- some kids will be near 5 and some just turned 4- I would say just because some seem more advanced at nursery doesn’t mean they will excel in school. I would be very wary of comparing, they all develop at their own pace.

It's useful for a child to be able to recognise their name, but they don't need to be able to write it yet. Sometimes it's easier when they haven't started writing because often we have to spend time 'un-teaching' them if they've only learned to write it in uppercase letters.

Being able to use the toilet independently, put their own shoes and coat on, and follow simple instructions are far more useful than being able to write their first novel.

Mine can do his name, recognises numbers etc. But he is an early October baby. When a child is born makes a difference as well as if they went to nursery etc

I struggle to believe there are multiple children writing sentences and reading at pre school. Some can’t do it by the end of reception!

Mine has just turned 4 and can write half their name and recognise a handful of letters. They can recognise numbers up to 10. That’s it. I’m not worried, they’ll catch up but there’s a MASSIVE difference between a just turned 4 year old and a nearly 5 year old.

My youngest is in Reception now. This time last year she couldn’t write her name and could just about count to ten. Now she’s reading fluently, doing adding and subtracting, counting in twos, fives and tens and generally amazing me every day with her new found knowledge about everything from maths and English to penguins and dinosaurs. As others have said, it’s the practical stuff they need to be able to do going in to Reception, school teach the rest and they’re like little sponges so it all goes in very quickly.

Mine can read really well, we're not even sure how so I'm not bragging about my parenting. He can't write at all though and has only just started showing an interest in even holding a pencil.

I agree with others the most important things to focus on are dressing, toileting and eating independently.

Mine turned 4 in May and has been going to a school nursery full time since last September so basically she has followed a very similar routine to the reception class. So she can dress/undress/take and put coat on/socks/shoes on/sit in a circle and take herself to the toilet.
She can do all the phonics sound and blend some words but that’s because my son has taught because he got fed up of her always asking him to read a story! She can also hold a pencil properly and write complete nonsense! But her pencil control is good. She does do a lot of colouring and also got good grip as she cycles almost 2 miles to school everyday. Actually I can’t believe she can do all that and sounds so grown up considering she measured 33 weeks when she was born!

Hiya another teacher perspective here. I know a lot of people who really push the early reading, writing and numbers with their children before they start school. If they are genuinely interested in learning to read, write and do maths then why not? Great, go for it. But honestly, it is what they will be learning in YR and you run the risk of them getting bored if they go to school knowing it all. Alternatively, they can get used to knowing everything in their first year and this can be hard to maintain as they move up through the school - which can ultimately knock their confidence (if that makes sense). It's better to be learning along with everyone and experiencing school for what it is. The sooner they get used to being in 'the learning pit' and getting things wrong the better. This builds resilience and great learning skills which will pay off in the long run. It's better to have the tools for good learning than to know all the facts, if that makes sense?

We can only teach what is on the curriculum for that year. We can go into greater depth and challenge them if they are confident but we can't go too ahead as that isn't how the curriculum works.

I echo what others said. Definitely practical skills and social skills will come in handy (but again this will also be taught and encouraged at school!). Above all, encouraging preschoolers that it is okay to get things wrong and building some early resilience for learning. Please don't worry - sounds like your little one is doing great :) x

My 4 year old sounds at exactly the same stage as yours. I’m not worried.

My march born 4 year old can do all the practical stuff getting dressed/toilet on own/ knife and fork etc.

He can count to 20ish, recognise some numbers will sometimes recognise a letter then next minute not likes to do a bit of a doodle but not really interested in any writing he likes been read to and listening to audio books. We're learning some letters this week at home but that's only because he needs to know a few for speech therapy.

I have an older son and he was exactly the same and he was summer born he's exactly where he should be academically honestly don't listen to school gate gossip. The child who can write his name etc probably can't get himself dressed there all stronger an weaker in different areas.

The biggest impact on how successful a child will be in Primary School is their self esteem. So fill them with love and confidence, that's the most important thing you can do! Try not to worry about the academic stuff at this stage, that's what they are going to school for!

In an ideal world, children starting Reception can:
communicate in short sentences
ask for help
dress and feed themselves
go to the toilet themselves
recognise their name and their belongings

I am a Primary School teacher and a mum to three young boys so this is what i have gleamed from both perspectives! I do run a session called 'Reception Ready' aimed at parents of kids starting school so please search on eventbrite if you'd like to join the next one on August 2nd.

I hope that helps. Most importantly have fun over the summer and talk and play together lots!

Did he go to nursery? Mine got a nursery report where he was ‘expected’ in everything, he sounds very similar to your DS.
His reception teacher gave us a sheet of things they can ideally do before starting school but emphasised to take it with a pinch of salt and that being able to do most is ok. Most of them are pretty basic.
The only thing I feel we need to practise is putting coat on - he could do this but hasn’t had to wear one in months so seems to have lost that skill. And bottom wiping could definitely be more thorough 🤦‍♀️

As pp has said, I've always heard teacher's want you teach your kid to toilet, and do shoes and coats independently and feel loved and supported. They can manage the academic stuff.

My youngest is going into reception and quite advanced academically but not physically. It's child led, so no pressure from us.

I think learning at the same rate as your peers is helpful though. Gifted children have a huge range of struggles. (Not saying my kids are, just that I think it can is helpful to not be too far ahead of your peers.)

Don't put any pressure on yourself, but if they're showing an interest explore it together in a fun way. Reception is still under the early years foundation stage. There will be children who've never been in a childcare setting as well as those that have. Some of the summer babies will be only just 4 and the autumn ones nearly 5. They expect a range of needs and abilities.

My school asks you prepare them for Independent putting on coats, bags and shoes, toileting and applying sunblock.

But mainly just have a lovely summer!

Conversation at pre school gates this morning have me wondering if he’s massively behind!

Ime the school mums who bang on, with varying levels of humility, about how Hector can count to 30 and already read 50 words and write his name bla bla, are usually those where Hector is their PFB.

Parents who are on number 2 + are usually more chilled about the fact that their dc is still eating mud for fun rather than reading to themselves...because they know, through experience, that it makes no difference in the long run.

Being 'academic' (pah 😂) or not at age 3 or 4 or 5 is no indication of their educational future at all.

I had one of each in my older dc - a 'forward' one who did things 2 years ahead of expected (who was my PFB and I loved to brag about, I've been there) and a 'mud eater' who could barely write his name at the end of R year.

They're both clever kids and now in their teens and doing well - but without a doubt, the mud eater is the more academically able of the two. Not that I'd ever say that to them mind.