I don’t feel lucky

[Bikeybikeface]

I have been in a terrible accident, I don’t remember anything about it but I was in ICU for 4 days and had several ops done. I’m home, in pain and will possibly need another operation.
people keep telling me how lucky I am to be here but I don’t feel it. I feel like I’ve gone from fit and healthy to in pain and debilitated. I suppose it’s because I have no memory of those four days and my family do.
I do not feel lucky to be struggling and it grates when I’m repeatedly told how lucky I am.

Sounds like you nearly died.
But you're still here.
Maybe you don't feel like that lucky and you'd rather have died, but you're family are glad you made it.

Do they mean lucky as in to be alive after what sounds like a horrendous accident?

hope the recovery goes to plan, make sure you talk to people about how your feeling and seek mental health support if needed. Sounds like your dealing with a lot.

I'm not surprised you feel that way. It's quite insensitive of people repeatedly saying you're 'lucky' - clearly that accident was horrible bad luck.

Yes I think they are saying that I’m lucky to be here as they were aware through those 4 days how bad I was. For me though, I have no memory and one minute I was fine and now I’m not. It’s not that I’m ungrateful to be here, I just don’t feel lucky. I think it will take a while.

Poor you, you've gone through trauma but your mind isn't on the same level as your body.

Would it help to reframe it in your head as to it just showing how much those around you love you, that you can be going through all of this and they think you're lucky. They must love you a great deal, and just be so incredibly thankful that you're alive, and home.

And be kind to yourself- of course it's hard to feel lucky when you're in so much pain, your life is completely changed from how it was when you can last remember. I think most people would struggle with acceptance or adjustment. It's not fair, and it's really shit.

I hope your recovery goes well, and that one day you look back on this time and also consider yourself lucky. Until then be kind and patient with yourself.

Thank you, it is early days and I’ve a way to go. Maybe one day I’ll think of myself as lucky, who knows, I definitely have a lot to unpick. Right now though, I think I’ll have to explain to my family how I’m feeling as every conversation leads to how lucky I am.

Still in shock, takes time to accept stuff, they have more time to readjust, get well

For God's sake, it's not at all lucky to have been in a serious accident even though you survived it. Bloody stupid thing to say. It would be different if they said, I'm so glad you're still alive. Much sympathy, and wishing you a good recovery in time.

They feel lucky to still have you. It's been traumatic for them to almost lose you.

Obviously traumatic for you, as well.

Be patient with each other.

I think the onus should be on the other people. Not the poor op who is already suffering more than enough without having to be patient with people who are - no doubt inadvertently- making her feel worse.

Tell them to knock it off, OP. They need to be more empathetic.