Weird end to date

[Bagpusssays]

Had a date on Friday. Really nice time. Lots of physical contact, hugging, handholding, other touching. Lots of whidpering in each other's ears. No kissing.

Verbal affection calling me "girl" and compliments. In depth conversation.

He then abruptly says that he doesn't have feelings for me and ends the date. He does this whilst having his arm around me. I try and engage him in discussion as to how this seems an abrupt change (we met two months ago socially but this was our first date). He then tells me to go home.

Thoughts?

I would think you had a lucky escape there OP. The fact he can switch like that would ring alarm bells for me. Forget him and move on.

I'd be sending anyone packing if they called me "girl".

Sounds very strange. Lucky escape. Called you ‘girl’? No and no again.

That's wierd as hell. Was he possibly having an affair??

Weird. Really strange. Lucky escape. I wouldn't contact them or see them again.

We were both horribly drunk. So I u destiny sudden alcohol fatigue or hunger can make your mood change but this was a v clear and unambiguous statement that he doesn't have feelings for me.

Unfortunately we both move in same circles so I will see him again. I'm not too embarrassed / concerned though slightly wary of some retrospective excuse or clarification.

Perhaps it was only the alcohol making him affectionate.

Did his ex (or not actually ex) girlfriend walk in?

God alone knows.

I'm sorry, it's bound to be upsetting. However, if you can frame it as 'God knows, but lucky escape' & move on that'll help you, instead of trying to work out why.

no second chances. If he can do this, like this, at this stage you'll be forever walking in egg shells.

Brave it out when you have to see him socially, be polite but distant & one day it'll be a 'WTF?' moment that no longer has any power to upset you.

@girlmom21 we had already been seen with our arms draped round each other by several mutual acquaintances. He seemed fine with this.

I am.pretty confident I didn't do or say anything to pre-empt the change of heart.

The physical contact was pretty constant but more of hugs, stroking hair, handholding than anything more sexual.

He also told me on the date that he was struggling with stress and self esteem. He seemed more in need of comfort and acceptance than sex...a troubled guy I suspect.

I do hope doesn't come back because despite this obvious erratic and poor behaviour I don't 100% trust myself not to engage.

I'm not angry or even particularly hurt but I'm a bit embarrassed and obviously very wary.

If he's definitely decided he doesn't fancy me then all is fine. If he's going to try and flip flop I'm going to have to be very firm and strong.

The girl nickname was a couple of times when he hugged me he said come here girl. I have to say that at the time I found this very sweet but see it has gone down like a lead balloon on here!

Thank you @JuneJubilee Good advice there x

Hes a total fucking weirdo. Or one of those people who behaves erratically when drunk. Neither option is appealing.

At future social events you could imagine that you dont know him, not exactly blank him but focus on other people.

If anyone should be embarrassed it's him not you.