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I need to stay out of this don't I?

5 replies

Keyboardconundrum221 · 25/06/2022 11:05

DS is 13, year 8. He's been upset this morning. A good friend of his has been picking on his appearance-all his minor 'flaws'. Crooked teeth, spots, double chin, that kind of thing. I think it's probably an attempt at banter thats hitting a nerve.

I know the mum well enough that a phone call would nip this in the bud but DS would be furious at me getting involved. DH says he's old enough now that he has to fight his own battles. Breaks my heart to see him so down on himself though, he's never been very confident.

Am I doing the right thing by just trying to boost his self esteem at home and not getting the mum involved? I told him he should tell this friend to fuck off next time, he might get the message then that it's not on.

OP posts:
EVHead · 25/06/2022 11:07

Not much of a friend is he?

If he really is a good friend I think your DS should deal with it assertively and tell the friend how his words are making him feel. If the behaviour continues then he ends the friendship.

Jumping straight to fuck off is OTT.

Keyboardconundrum221 · 25/06/2022 11:10

EVHead I know right? The problem is he's part of their friendship group so he can't just stop being friends with him, they're in lots of classes together too. His mum would be absolutely mortified.

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 25/06/2022 11:31

Don't go to the mum.

But do have a word with school. Especially as they share a lot of classes.

This isn't a friend. This is someone who is essentially bullying your ds. And all this crap dressing it up as banter just makes bullies stronger and gives them more power.

Banter is a 2 way street with consent on both sides to take the piss a little.

This is not banter.

And I don't think fuck off is too strong.

MrsPrimulaSpread · 25/06/2022 11:53

I don’t think fuck off is too strong either
sounds about right to me
Hope your son bounces back @Keyboardconundrum221 its so hard to sit back and watch

EarringsandLipstick · 25/06/2022 12:09

I don’t think fuck off is too strong either
sounds about right to me

Me too.

I wouldn't go to the mum. I would be really clear to your DS that this unacceptable nasty behaviour & he should in no uncertain terms tell the 'friend' this.

If it continues, contact the school

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