Hi all! I am really struggling and could do with some people to talk to.
I am a mother of two, eldest 11 who he is off to secondary in September and he is autistic. I'm so anxious about him starting his new school. I ended up making myself ill in hospital worrying about him starting primary and that was nothing compared to this. My physical and mental health is in tatters.
ds's behaviour has been really challenging lately. We had a support worker who's totally left us in the lurch. We seen her a few times then it stopped for no apparent reason. we seem to slip through the net. DS's challenging behaviour is Affecting us all, I feel like a failure of a parent to both of them. feel like I am not a good enough parent to deal with my sons issues and not being an attentive enough mother to my youngest because of all this. I am just counting down until bedtime every day ag the minute.
DS doesn't sleep well either.
family situation is me, Dp, ds and ds. DS is not biologically dp's but treats him as his own. Been with dp 10 years. We do get on generally but things have been strained recently.
Ds sees his dad sporadically and is a massive let down who always says he's gonna help when he's not.
Dp works long hours and is a great hands on dad but doesn't do much around the house so I feel like I'm drowning in housework at the minute.
I have spent weeks trying to sort transport and trying to ensure he is supported. Meetings, phone calls, visits and emails. I haven't stopped.
been trying to organise a party for my youngest too as she's never had one before due to covid and want her to have the day she deserves.
I don't have many friends. Know lots of people and no solid friendships. Family aren't very supportive either and live half hour away. None of them really understand and make stupid comments about it all.
a relative recently called me a lady of leisure because I'm not working currently but I literally don't stop. Constantly feel judged.
I am grieving of the death of my beloved grandpa who I love and miss dearly. The only person in my family I could rely on.
my own bio dad has never wanted to know me. Difficult relationship with my mum. She's treated me badly.
i have severe anxiety myself and likely to be on the spectrum myself but not yet formally assessed or diagnosed. Scored 170 on raads r and it would explain a lot and doctor agrees I need to be assessed but feel like I don't have the energy to think of myself right now.
my mental health is in tatters. It's finally come to head tonight, me and dp have argued, first time in a long time... I've cried, had a panic attack and felt like I was gonna pass out . My head is throbbing like pain I've never felt before. He might be working and providing financially and with the kids but I'm doing everything else. I'm so overwhelmed. He's gone to sleep on the sofa and I'm in bed.
I just don't know what help is out there. No one wants to help us, we've slipped through the net.
i am knackered, not eating healthy or at all, I look and feel like shit.
sounds like I'm just digging for sympathy but I'm feeling more lonely than I ever have right now.
Now it's the weekend, Dp is working. I struggle to get the kids out too far on my own so it'll likely be a day stuck in tomorrow. My kids don't get on and taking them out on my own is a nightmare.