Does my friend think I live in a cave?

[Chikapu]

So I live in Ireland and my friend lives in the UK, we keep in touch by daily text messages.
I'm starting to get annoyed with her asking me stupid questions all the time about things that are really well known eg:
have you heard about Boris Johnson and his parties?
have you heard of Johnny Depp, he's in court with his ex-wife?
have you heard so and so's died (insert famous person's name)?
have you heard of vegans?
have you ever heard of Kate Bush? She's got a song at no1, I don't know if you've heard of Stranger Things but it was in that.
Honestly, I get this type of question at least once a day

Posted too soon there! Would it annoy you to be asked such mundane questions about stuff surely everyone's heard of? Does she think I'm thick or that living in Ireland means we just don't hear about things?

She doesn't mean 'Have you heard...'
she's asking 'shall we talk about...' or 'What do you think about...' or 'Isn't it shocking about...'

She's just finding things to chat about.

Hmm... on the flip side, there's also the potential to write "my friend always expects me to be up to date on current affairs and I'm sick of her assuming I have time to read the news/care/etc."...

It sounds as though there might be more going on (to annoy you) and this is the straw that broke the camels back?

However, in general... you're not being unreasonable to assume that most people know about the topics you've mentioned. Perhaps it's just intended as casual wording to bring up the topic of conversation? Perhaps your friend thinks it would be rude to assume you know about something? Thinking about how people bring things up with me, I don't think I'd bat an eyelid if someone said "have you seen this in the news/heard about this"...

My UK friend is the opposite and rabbits on about UK law, school regulations, academic curriculum etc as if everyone should know all about the uk and things aren't any different in other countries.

Maybe your friend is more sensitive to differences than mine.

So she's just wording it badly then?

I suppose depends but it's generally a conversation starter isn't it?
Ee have you heard about x and x.

Sounds like she's just wording it badly. I wouldn't take offence. If she thought you lived in a cave she'd be asking things like "have you heard of electric?"

I'm from the UK so there really aren't many differences between us that she needs to be sensitive about.
She's different lately and talks very badly about other people to me so I think this has made me wonder what she really thinks about me deep down.

I have been tempted to send her random texts just saying stuff like
have you heard of the sky?
have you of heard of trees?
have you heard of sheep?

I think for me the fact she says have you heard of instead of have you heard about is what makes it feel different to a conversation starter.

She means “I read/was thinking about XXXX what do you think about it”

Intentionally or otherwise, she sounds patronising to me.

If ‘have you ever heard of Kate Bush? She's got a song at no1, I don't know if you've heard of Stranger Things but it was in that.’ is word-for-word what she wrote, I’d be sending some very short, sharp responses.

I'd say it's just the way she's worded it.

I have friends who do this to me - 'have you heard...' and it opens up the discussion about whatever it is they have text me.

I'd guess it's just a way she starts conversation.

😂😂😂
I do think she means omg have you heard of this - let’s discuss type of thing. But I understand why it annoys you.
My husband does this ALL the time. I’ll be in the kitchen and he’ll shout “have you seen this‽” I always say no, I’ve still not mastered the art of seeing through walls just yet. He rolls his eyes, laughs but still does it all the time…so annoying. He got in from work at 4:30 and I’ve had 3 “have you seen this” already this evening 🙄

I'm irish and fil to be is from the UK and when I met him first he asked me did Ireland have McDonald's 🤣🤣🤣 some people do think that we live in backwards diddly eye land

Almost every conversation round our table starts like this!
Apart from the ones that start 'I read something today that...'

It's just a saying that isn't particularly accurate.

Someone once informed me with absolute certainty that you can't buy peanut butter in Ireland 😂

It may be her way of starting a conversation but it's still patronising. I would point it out to her and see if she stops. She may not realise how it sounds but equally she may be trying to boost her own ego by talking down to you.
If she persists in this maybe don't answer questions that start like that.
I have a relative who used to be quite patronising towards me and mentioning it made it worse since she then knew she'd got to me. I stopped it by bouncing it back onto her and making her feel uncomfortable each time. Mostly by repeating it back to her mimicking her voice. Not proud of it but it was the only thing that worked!

I used have you heard about as a conversation starter

Not because I think someone lives in a cave😂😂😂😂😂

It would annoy me if I did not love the person. If I loved the person/had a close relationship with them I'd just be honest and tell them to stop asking me stupid questions.

You say this is new - how long have you lived in Ireland? It might be that she doesn't want to assume that this is also in the news where you are (which in some cases might be reasonable, others clearly not) but I agree it's irritating if she's doing it daily.

Judging from the number of people on MN and in real life who proudly proclaim that they don't follow the news at all, ever, it's far too depressing, I think she's right to ask first.

I think me and my friends all start conversations this way! A friend messaged me earlier "have you heard about Roe v Wade?" and I replied about how awful the ruling was, starting a conversation. I didn't think she was literally implying that I'd never heard of Roe v Wade.

If you don't like her starting conversations that way, then tell her you find it patronising, but I'd be surprised if that's how she meant it.

I’m in the north of England and use it as a conversation starter (or more commonly something like: ‘you know Johnny Depp’s court case? Or ‘have you heard about X huge news story?’ that the other person has definitely heard about 😁).

Everyone around me uses similar so it doesn’t sound patronising to me. It’s just a way of suggesting a topic of conversation. Maybe it’s a regional thing, I’ve never thought about it before!

Tbf I prefer supermacs … misses point of thread entirely

One of my friends does that. I simply tell her I'm not interested in politics/celebrities/things I have no control over (e.g. gas/electricity prices, petrol)