How much do you earn and are you struggling?

[AG1210]

touchy subject I know.

we have a monthly income of just under £3000. We have 2 kids.

DH earns just under £2000 a month.

ds gets DLA, I get carers allowance, child benefit, small amount of tax credits and £30 PW maintenance off ds's dad (he probs should be paying more but I haven't got the energy to sort this!) brings us to just under £3000 a month.

but we are always skint!!

house is mortgaged and it's currently £350pcm which is cheap. If we were renting we'd be on our knees. But we've had a lot of necessary house repairs in the last year which hasn't helped - boiler and heating repairs etc.

we don't spend about our means.

like anyone, bills have shot up but we have been struggling for a while, so even more so now. Always over drawn by the end of the month.

we don't spend above our means. Don't go out to eat, drink alcohol or smoke.

we also run 2 cars. we took out a loan for our newer family car (not brand new!) which we are still paying back. The other was bought outright 15 years ago before dh met me. . 2 cars is a necessity where we live as there is little public transport and dh works unsociable hours. But if dh car goes wrong (it's not looking good atm) we are screwed as can't afford another. This is a big chunk of our income gone.

we have some credit card debt - about 2 grands worth buy could be worse I guess.

we've cancelled Netflix and other subscriptions.

not had a holiday in 7 years.

we have recently spent our on annual passes to a local theme park which cost nearly £200 but thankfully they are valid for a year and it's only a few miles away so will give us something to do with the kids at the weekends - hopefully they don't get bored of it.

made cut backs with food. Food has gone up but I'm buying less to compensate.

how do you get by each month?

we shouldn't be struggling so much should we?! Is this just life for everyone now?

I totally appreciate that there are families much less off than us and I can fully sympathise.

I am just at a loss on what to do.

there's just always something extra we have to pay out for too!!

any money saving tips??

I think some posters are forgetting or not realising how much extra a family with a severely disabled child spends each month on meeting their additional needs.

For those saying OP should have enough the government clearly don’t think so because OP could get over £550pm in UC, which is likely more than CTC she is getting (based on what else is included in the £1k extra on top of her DH’s earnings).

For example, in a couple with at least one of you over 25, 2 DC with at least 1 born before 6/4/17, and 1 DC in receipt of HRC DLA you would get over £550pm.

Standard allowance. £525.72
First child. £290
Second child. £244.58
Severe disability element £414.88
Carer element. £168.81
Total = £1644.02

Earnings. £1998
Carer’s allowance. £302.02
Work allowance. £573

Earnings minus work allowance
£1998 - £573 = £1425

Deduction
Earnings x 0.55 =
£1425 x 0.55 = £783.75

Total allowed - earnings deductions - CA = total UC for month
£1644.02 - £783.75 - £302.02 = £558.25

Currently no. We don’t share finances and split everything. But my salary is nearly £25k : £1600 a month ish. his is around £30k but we’ve no kids. Out of my salary alone I manage my share of the bills, save a good amount and also have disposable income currently. Obviously I don’t have children so it’s different.

We have a similar mortgage but overpay. I save money each month and we have a very close eye on bills/budgets etc. We can afford holidays, we save for repairs or refurbs and have meals out and so on.Don’t use credit only the mortgage is a debt.

HOWEVER with the cost of living we are absolutely watching the pennies, less takeaways, watching the food bill, I buy clothes on Vinted mostly and even then it’s not much. Less trips in the car( we only have one) and we use taxis or public transport into the city or local area so we can have a drink if we wish.

@AG1210 you really need to sit down and look at outgoings and where its gone recently over the last few months. The money is going somewhere and if you do have spare pay off any debt and save for an emergency fund.

An observation is that it is actually easier to budget and know where your money is going if there is just one adult involved. Op, if you don't already, could you do something like put all the money in one place and then set aside an allowance for you and your partner each month to access and ring-fence all the rest?

5k a month and you are struggling ? 🙄

I don't think you can say you're not living above your means if you're overdrawn each month and you have CC debt AND you've not got a budget?

Step one is making a budget... I'd recommend the Statement of Affairs template (SOA) on moneysavingexpert.

Included in a budget should be savings for an emergency fund so you're not stripped bare every time something in the house breaks. So remember to factor that in!

509k mortgage - average London house prices
2.5k month repayment

Add in some childcare and yes they could be struggling

I thought having a budget was standard.

List of incoming and outgoing with all bills covered, but for spending and bit for saving - is that not a thing?

We're on a joint income of £2900. Thankfully paid of our mortgage which was £400 a month and we own our car. Rough breakdown of our spending for 2 adults, 1 teen, 2 cats and a dog:

Bills
Council tax 170
Energy 180
Insurances (life, car, house pets) 70
Phones x 3 80
Diesel 150
Food 600
Sofa and bathroom repayments 200
Pre paid prescription 10
Netflix 10
Tv license 13
Water 35
DS school dinners 40

1558

saving

Emergency house/car repairs fund 25
Nest egg 100
Holidays 400 (trying to save for a big holiday)
Teenager 150

That leaves us around 600 a month to cover school trips, clothes, activities, 2 x takeaways, dentist etc

I'd consider us a frugal family, I buy all my clothes 2nd hand, we don't drink or smoke, we don't eat out a lot, we don't use our car much, DH and I make packed lunches, no costas or anything like that but I'm still amazed that £600 per month gets gobbled up! It's DS I think, he needs new clothes a lot as he's growing, he's out with his friends a lot so we often give him money to take, cinema etc. General house repairs also add up, there's always something needs replacing.

Go through your spending, item by item, colour code it all and see where you can cut back. I did it recently and it was really interesting to see where our money goes.

Top tip for saving, we use the nationwide app that allows you to set a goal and tells you the daily/weekly/monthly amount to reach it. Once your bills are paid, make saving the priority.

£350 mortgage.
£120 Council Tax.
£50 housing management fee.
£90 water.
£50 phone and Landline.
£450 food.
£150 gas and electric.
No nursery fees.

That's £1260. Your income is £3000.

You have car payments and credit card debt - but even if those were several hundred quid, there's around a grand a month unaccounted for.

I expected you to say your mortgage was £1200 a month or you had a child in FT nursery.

You may not be living a jet set lifestyle but you shouldn't be skint and struggling to get by based on your numbers - you're spending or wasting a huge amount of money somewhere.

I think the first step is being honest with yourself and spending habits.

I have been there... "where's my money going??"but when i really evaluate its been going to ASOS and deliveroo

The difference now is a couple of quid is the equivalent of £10

We bring in around £4800 a month and cost of living is really starting to bite us.

We live in an expensive area of the country as it's where my husband has been posted, so high mortgage, high council tax and we need 2 cars as we both work funny hours with no public transport plus shepherding 3 kids to schools (no schools in our town so I have to drive to the next town. Again, no public transport. Annoying as there was a service when we first moved here but it got removed).

Our food bill is low for a family of 5, probably around £500 a month and we are still on a low(ish) gas/electric payment as we're fixed till August.

We will manage, but there is just no fun money anymore.

Our monthly outgoings are £3200 (we're a family of six) with a mortgage of £1200 and a 2yo in nursery. I have no idea how is it that you spend so much.

There is a few more bills I didn't add but these were the most costly ones!

all the things you said!

plus all the added costs of school trips and other money the school is after. Something every week 😅

dd gets free lunches being an infant. We lay for DS's and yes I know I could save by sending him pack lunch but as above he's autistic and he doesn't eat much at the minute so going school dinners and being told he eats a meal is worth the £50 a month! (DLA goes towards that anyway!) He has major food issues!

keeping 2 cars running.

I don't buy clothes very often unless I start seeing holes in my existing clothes. Kids have clothes but I buy in sales at the end of the season for the next year and use discount codes and it's all from sainsburys, Asda or whatever.

It's just always something to pay out for.

we try and put £100 pm into a savings account but sometimes months are skipped. But our savings account took a massive hit over a massive house repair, took us down to nearly nothing and bene struggling to get it back up. Hence why the credit card bills are starting to go up!

Our mortgage is £350 and we have bags left over. Absolutely tonnes. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear but you should have plenty! Be honest about your spending

Has all your surplus money has been spent on house maintenance?
Can you total up your emergency house repairs for the past year and also estimate any planned expenditure this year / next year ?
Eg new central heating boiler £2,000
Roof repairs ?
Replace consumer box etc etc.

Do those who are saying OP should have plenty and don’t know how she spends so much have severely disabled DC?

These figures are out of date now, but I can’t find up to date ones, I’m sure they will be significantly more now. According to Scope, in 2019 24% of families with disabled children had extra costs of more than £1000. The average cost being £581. And, on average, a disabled person’s extra costs are almost half their income excluding housing costs. Source.

Two cars are a luxury and you are repaying debts.

Yeah. I am really surprised. We've got an income of £1900 post tax as a family of three. We live in a tiny house with a tiny mortgage and a car. No childcare cost though. We always have several hundred left at the end of the month to save.

LargeLegoHaul what type of extra costs are there?

OP-do you have additional costs due to your DS disability?

OP has already said she has additional costs related to DS’s additional needs.

If you look at the links on the Scope website the reports includes examples of where costs are more. Examples are higher gas, electric, water, petrol/diesel, parking and food costs. Also equipment, additional/more expensive clothing, therapies & treatments not covered by the NHS/LA, home adaptations not covered (at all or not fully) by other funding… Even things like holiday insurance can be more. Really the list is endless.

OP mentions a hospital appointment, this may not apply to her if it just involves outpatient appointments, but, for example, parents whose children who have regular inpatient admissions find feeding themselves quickly mounts up. Cooking facilities may be limited as may fridge space and things go missing even when labelled, and some wards don’t allow you to bring batch cooking/leftovers.

LargeLegoHaul thankyou for the information.

I don't think anyone has disputed it. They've just asked what they are in order to try to work out the budget. Absolutely understandable if the op is spending xx on taxis or therapies or social activities, and they should of course be a priority.

I don't think anyone has disputed it.

Well posting “I have no idea how is it that you spend so much”, “you should have plenty”, “I am really surprised”, “It's fairly obvious that the OP should feel quite comfortable on £3k unless she's misrepresented their situation.”, “you shouldn’t be skint and struggling to get by based on your numbers” isn’t taking in to account the additional costs related to having a severely disabled DC.

But those additional costs aren't mentioned at all in any of the OP's posts and she has only mentioned house repairs as the reason. The OP may not have those additional costs, we're all just guessing here.