Hi all. I am really struggling with dissatisfaction and really a deep sense of inadequacy. This is not a new feeling and the background is that by all objective measures I have a good and fortunate life.
Nevertheless, I feel like a total failure. This is largely directed at my career - I like many aspects of my job but I have really failed to live up to expectations and basically I'm just not that good at it. I'm in my late 40s now and people younger than me are constantly being promoted above me and it really hurts.
I hate myself for caring so much about this, especially given my good fortune, and I read a lot of Buddhism which reminds me to focus on the process, not the outcome, to practise acceptance, all that kind of thing. That helps in theory but I just can't seem to really absorb it - intellectually I do understand that external validation won't make me happy or feel a sense of self-worth, it has to come from within ... but I still can't help feeling that if only I were more 'successful,' and just generally 'better,' I would feel better about myself.
Does anybody else feel like this? Did career success or anything else actually make you feel 'better'? Do you have any advice!!?? Thanks in advance!