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Original poster

Dad too unwell to get to hospital appointment

115 replies

ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 22/06/2022 21:47

Wasn't sure where to post this.

Basically my Dad is very very unwell and has finally got a hospital appointment Friday to have some tests done (we aren't expecting good news) but he can't get out of bed to get there. He is having awful diarrhoea most days and sleeps for many hours yet the GP has told my Mum today that if he doesn't get there then his appointment will be cancelled and he will be put back to GP care.

My parents GP has been absolutely awful through all of this and he should have been referred months ago so I'm not surprised she isn't being helpful now.

Does anyone have any ideas what we can do? If he still can't get out of bed tomorrow would it be unreasonable to ring an ambulance (we have done this before but they have refused to take him in as the GP was dealing with it)? Would the hospital be more helpful if we call them?

I think the Gp would be happy to leave him at home to just deteriorate.

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 23/06/2022 20:11

I was thinking of you today, OP. It does sound like you’ve been massively let down by your Gp (and maybe adult social care?). I do hope things got resolved today.

Badgerloco · 23/06/2022 20:57

Honestly I’d have had him admitted before now, I hope they give you some answers. To have been dealing with this since Christmas must have been awful for you all.

llamadramapolli · 23/06/2022 22:30

I hope your dad is doing okay and getting the care he deserves. He's lucky to have such a lovely family around him.

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General health
Lochroy · 23/06/2022 22:34

Really hope you managed to get home there, OP.

Thisismesadly · 23/06/2022 22:38

Hope you got him there and he’s been admitted

bloodyunicorns · 23/06/2022 22:49

Your poor dad. That sounds awful. And his GP sound absolutely crap.

Well done to you and your h. Can you go into the appointment with him and advocate for him? Sounds like he needs to be admitted.

I hope it goes well and your dad gets the treatment he needs. 💐

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 23/06/2022 23:44

Your poor Dad! Hope everything went okay today and he gets treatment soon

mommybear1 · 24/06/2022 14:06

Hope your Dad got to the appointment.

FannyFifer · 24/06/2022 14:31

Hope all is ok & you're dad is being looked after.

Original poster
ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 24/06/2022 19:22

Sorry for not coming back sooner.

Yesterday was a bit of a nightmare. We managed to get him to the hospital fine and borrowed a hospital wheelchair which was all good, he had an appointment first for a barium meal/swallow and then that was followed by the CT scan, barium went fine although really difficult for him to swallow and not nice to watch him try. We then got him to the CT and he was in his gown with the cannula in when the lady saw him rubbing his throat and asked if he was ok, he told her the barium had made him feel sick and she immediately stopped everything and said he wasn't allowed a CT after a barium! Apparently they should have been booked the other way around, so cannula came out and we had to take him home. He needs to go back on Tuesday. The nurse was lovely and we couldn't moan at her because it wasn't her fault but how hard is it for people to do their jobs properly. My poor dad now needs to do this all over again next Tuesday.

She did say in her opinion he didn't seem dehydrated as it was easy to find a vein but she did say that if he gets worse or confused/unresponsive we should get him to A&E, I tried to get him to go down there yesterday but he just wanted to go home. My Mum said he seems a bit brighter today and sat in the garden for an hour but he still isn't eating.

Just to answer a couple of questions he had bloods done 4 weeks ago and they showed an infection or inflammation (GP's words), she said that obviously she doesn't know where this infection is so she gave him a 10 day course of antibiotics and that was when she did the referral. He then saw the consultant two weeks ago who put him on the 2 week cancer pathway and that's where this appointment has come from. He was admitted to hospital back in February and diagnosed with heart failure which he's on medication for but they discharged him after 2 days! He was referred to the heart failure team which would stop him going through the GP for any problems but they haven't accepted him yet as they have a waiting list.

It seems everywhere you turn there's delays, waiting lists and things not being done properly. I'm not NHS bashing at all but when you just want help for someone its really hard.

Sorry for the length of this message!

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 24/06/2022 19:57

It was good if you to come back and update, don’t feel obligated to but I know I and others often wonder how people are getting on.

Your poor dad and you and your mum. It sounds so hard and there’s not much you can do but be by his side. I’m glad he got outside in the garden today though.

can you get him some fortisip or complan (www.boots.com/complan-chocolate-flavour-nutritional-drink-4-x-55g-10031341) if he’s managing to drink?

Kezzie200 · 24/06/2022 21:18

My Mum was given fresubin drinks on prescription to try and replace minerals and energy when she couldn't eat. Can you ask if your gp can prescribe him some if they would help

kateluvscats · 25/06/2022 11:52

Please let us know if you hear about any results etc.
Wishing your Dad all the best.

Original poster
ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 07/07/2022 11:36

Hi everyone, you were all so helpful that I thought I'd let you know that my Dad had his CT scan and has now been asked to see an ENT consultant next Tuesday. I've got no idea what the results could be but I'm going to go with my Mum and Dad to find out and because neither of them listen properly and will come out with more questions then they went in with 😁

If it's cancer would he be sent to ENT? Would it not be Oncology? I've no idea how any of this works.

My Mum also got him a prescription for some shakes and he's been able to drink them so thanks for the suggestions. x

OP posts:
Londonnight · 07/07/2022 11:47

It sounds as though they are sending him for an endoscopy -- tube down the throat. You may not get results on Tuesday, until the results of endoscopy are through.

ClinkeyMonkey · 07/07/2022 11:59

Sorry I don't have any answers, but just want to say I understand and sympathise with how hard it can be to get someone very unwell to an appointment. Even getting my mum (who has Alzheimer's and is doubly incontinent) down the road to the GP for blood tests is horrendous and like a bloody military operation! I'm glad you got your dad there in the end and really hope you get some answers soonFlowers

janesmithsdog · 07/07/2022 13:27

I’m glad you’ve updated us OP, I was wondering how your lovely Dad was.

He’s had bloods, a barium swallow and a CT scan now, yes? No biopsy yet…? I think different hospitals plan their pathways differently so it might be that it isn’t cancer but it might also be that the specialisms have their own pathways into oncology. It’s really good he’s had those images done now and I think it’s a really REALLY good idea for you to go with then to the appointment.

Can i suggest you take a notebook and pen? Ask as many questions as you can think of and write their answers down- you think you’ll remember later but in my experience you don’t! If you can’t think of any questions, ask “What happens next, what does that look for, and what do we need to know”… those are always good questions. No question is a silly one, either.

Just on the shake front, I think the nicest tasting shakes are SlimFast. Obviously he’s not dieting(!) but they are also fortified with vitamins etc so worth a try for an alternative. Fresh soups etc also for variety; and you can blend them with a hand blended if lumps etc would be problematic.

And lastly if I remember rightly, you are heavily pregnant too- are you looking after yourself? Easy nourishing food in the fridge, clear anything from your diary that doesn’t either have to be in there or that fills your own tank etc. I think you are going to have a full on few months ahead, so look after yourself too 💐

Cocolapew · 07/07/2022 17:07

My Dad did had cancer, he had the tube down his throat to see where the lung cancer was, tbh he hardly saw an oncologist at all.
Firstly I think they have to find out all the facts and figure out treatment plans. In my Dads case the consultants liaised more with the oncologist at the beginning. Unfortunately my Dad was terminal so he really only saw the consultants.
I wish your Dad the best.

Cornettoninja · 07/07/2022 17:46

Thanks for the update@ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner , I’m glad your dad is managing some nutrition drinks and the GP has organised a prescription.

I hope that your dads appointment goes ok. It’s worth recording the consultation if the doctor doesn’t mind (do check!), a lot don’t mind and it means you can refer back to it. I don’t know if that’s something you might be able to get your mum or dad in the habit of doing but it can be really helpful when you’re receiving a lot of information in one go.

Don’t be afraid to contact their secretaries if you’ve got any questions or need to chase anything up either. It might take a while for them to get you an answer but you don’t have to wait worrying. I have found that some consultants will respond quicker to a letter because they can just dictate a reply that can be sent back to you.

Kezzie200 · 07/07/2022 19:25

My Mum saw the Colorectal team for diagnosis and surgery. They operated but, in her particular case, couldn't do much except provide a stoma. They gave her her terminal diagnosis.

She was given an option to consider oncology for potential palliative treatment and then she moved to oncology. She was now out of the care of the colorectal team, except for stoma care.

Once she decided to not have the palliative chemo offered by oncology she was moved from oncology to the palliative care team.

Hopefully they will be able to act and offer treatment to your Dad and stop his symptoms. If you can go, that's good. You are right, it's hard for them to remember everything although they do follow up with letters explaining what they said.

Original poster
ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 23/07/2022 14:04

Hi all, thought I would come back with some good news. My Dad doesn't have cancer!

Two weekends ago he had a really funny turn at home, was very confused and when my Mum did his blood pressure it was on the floor and his heart rate was 52. I couldn't go over as I had Covid but my Mum phoned an ambulance and they put him straight onto fluid and blue lighted him to hospital where they said they struggled for an hour to get his blood pressure and heart rate up, apparently it was very touch and go.

Once he was stable and on a ward I spoke to a doctor and he said he was shocked at how much medication my Dad is on and that basically he has been overdosing for the past 6 months which explains why he has been so unwell and the weight loss. He was admitted before and diagnosed with heart failure so put onto medication but no one told them he should stop these other tablets and because everything is on a repeat prescription the GP hasn't noticed. He has slight kidney and liver damage but not too bad that it's a cause for concern. The doctor at the hospital was fuming and said that we have to make a complaint because he nearly died. They have changed all of his medication and he has gone from 17 tablets a day to 6! I saw him this week and he looks like a new man, still frail from the weight loss but he's eyes are twinkly and he is smiling and walking around ❤️

I took him for his ENT appointment and the consultant said that he was happy with the scans and that there isn't any obstruction in his throat/oesophagus but that there was a good chance it was a side effect of the medication (Globus Sensation).

So for now he is ok but I'm so angry with the GP, he has asked and asked to be seen but everything has been done over the phone or with a repeat prescription. We will be complaining but even that feels useless.

Thank you for all of the lovely support and advice x

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 23/07/2022 14:07

That’s excellent news @ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner .

Cocolapew · 23/07/2022 14:10

That's shocking, but unfortunately not unusual. I'm glad your Dad is recovering well.

Talkaholic · 23/07/2022 14:10

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TrianglePlayer · 23/07/2022 14:14

Your poor poor dad. I’m so sorry he’s had to go through all of this. I really hope he continues to improve now all the medication has been sorted.