Insensitive things people say/do

[Echobelly]

I would say I can't believe people do/say certain things, but I have heard enough reports of them to know it's true.

eg I've read a couple of comments recently from people estranged from their parents and when they tell others, the response is 'You should make up' or 'Dont you miss them?' or 'I could never stop speaking to my Mum and Dad'. Does it not occur to these people that just because they had lovely parents, not everyone has that experience? That no one goes no contact without a very good reason?

Or asking a couple 'When are you going to have kids?' - I wouldn't ever assume everyone wants kids. I'd assume a couple will volunteer if it's on the cards, and if they don't, don't ask them?

Or people who go up to people of colour and ask to touch their hair?! Why would someone do that?!

What not uncommon things can you really not understand why anyone would say or do?

Unfortunately a lot of people do not think before they speak.

Most of the time it isn't intended to offend and is born through either ignorance or stupidity.

There are also people who can offend others by asking inappropriate questions. I recently had a mixed race baby and i kid you not, the nurse who was checking over my baby first asked me if dad was dad to my other children (he is) and then proceeded to say that my baby was very light skinned considering dad is dark. Anyone who has seen a brand new mixed race baby knows that they are pale when born as are most babies. Luckily enough I am not easily offended and to put it bluntly thought that this woman was a complete prat.

The estranged parents one used to really annoy me. So much so I would just say blood tie or not keeping abusive people around is not v healthy. Which I stand by, they never had a response. As it is, not had any comments as I have gotten older, although tbf it doesnt ever come up now.

Words of condolence.
They're most often about the person saying it, that they want to say something but get it wrong. Only a few people consider what the bereaved want/need to hear.
Just acknowledge and stop talking, you muppet!

My arms are plastered in self harm scars. Sometimes, it is way too hot to wear long sleeves. I have had people comment on them. One bloke once just stared and kept saying "omg, fucking hell.."

I was kicked out of a pub for not covering my arms up. It was "upsetting the regulars"

That's shocking @XenoBitch

I'm not going to pretend I'm perfect in terms of responses to everything myself. I'm sure I'm guilty of 'I know how you feel...' when I don't really, but I am trying to avoid that these days