I feel stuck and not making the most of my time

[CuriousityMe]

I'd a breakup of a 4.5 year relationship just over a year ago. I'm over the heartbreak now but I feel stuck, if that make sense, and feel like I'm wasting my free time when I have it, just endlessly browsing online. I used to love reading but just can't concentrate on a book any more. I neglected my one and only hobby for a while, but I've pushed myself to get back to that recently, which is good, I suppose. I'm late 40s and, even though I was always ambivalent about having children, lately I've been thinking about how this time has now passed for me. I do suffer from anxiety and tend to dwell and ruminate a bit, and my self-esteem took a hit after this relationship.

I suppose I'd like to hear from those who experienced similar and found a lust for life again.

Yes I think it’s really common to go through patches like this, and you are also the age where that can lead to a mid life reassessment of what you are doing with life which can be unpleasant before it gets better.

The being stuck might be low mood but it could also be avoidance of going out and figuring out what you want from life?

3 things to start -
— stick a blocker on your phone so you can’t scroll endlessly
— think about how you might think about what you are going to do w your life - could be weekend away w a close friend, yoga weekend, skyros type holiday, therapist..

Thanks. I used to be a very positive, loved life person. Since the breakup I just don't feel myself, don't feel happy, feel edgy and anxious nearly all the time.

Well I would also go and see your GP, get on the list for some CBT and also talk to them about medication to see if that might be right for you. It can make a real difference alongside making other changes.,

Covid hasn’t helped, a lot of people (including myself) feel a lack of enthusiasm for things they used to do/enjoy.

Yes, I think because the breakup happened during lockdown, I'd too much time to think and spend alone. Even though I enjoy my own company and do spend a lot of time alone, I think my anxiety becomes worse because of this.