School attendance - never at the expected level - just can’t achieve it

[autismissues]

I don’t know what to do. We just can’t reach the required above 97%

ds has autism so misses time due to that. Gets unwell a lot (and has a very low threshold for feeling unwell I think it’s sensory so if not feeling 100% physically ok he can’t manage his feelings at all)
he has ARFID as well so some days of hasn’t eaten he can’t go.

A few other health issues that although are minor because of his autism if he feels ‘wrong’ he needs to be at home

part of me is thinking is home education going to be a better option as we just can’t get to the attendance level expected

Does school give you grief?

Does he have an EHCP? Should he have is own 'target'?

If it isn't possible, it isn't possible. My DD has done her best this year and is at 75%.

Stop trying and beating yourself up about it, you’ve enough on your plate 💐

school should be dealing with it differently and not just trying to hit their own required numbers.

I don’t think not reaching 97% attendance is a reason to home ed if you feel your DS benefits from going to school. It’s just a number.

what are the school doing to support you and your DS?

We are waiting to see if he can be assessed for an ehcp

They don’t give us too much grief but do mention it it’s just pressure and I want him to go in more but it’s like the planets have to align correctly on a daily basis for him to be able to go in and actually not just have meltdown after meltdown

We aren’t getting enough support we had an OT assessment months ago but they told us no appts - there’s nothing they can offer?
Speech therapy is the same ??
I just feel like we are a bit lost and trying to manage things ourselves and there’s no support

If you haven't already, then post on the SEN board. Very helpful people there.

What is this 'required' above 97%? My autistic child is currently below 91%. School has never said a word. He's autistic, he has ARFID, he has massive anxiety.

I do my best.

If you've explained the situation to the school and they are broadly understanding about it, then I would just ignore the attendance letters.

My dd has post-viral fatigue - not too severe but does "dip" again every time a virus goes round and needs a few days off. I spoke to the lovely attendance officer at the school. She said "You will get an attendance letter as they are generated automatically, but you've spoken to me, so just put it in the bin".

Yes to the SN board or SEN one for advice from people who know all about working through the system to try and get support for their DC

www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs_chat
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_educational_needs

I think part of the problem is you feel you can only send him in when the stars align because that's when he will be able to cope. That indicates to me he needs more support to cope in school so he can attend more regularly without everything needing to be perfect.

Yes I think so he definitely needs more support I’m going to talk to them and see what we can do . I just feel today like I’m really failing

You can apply for an EHCNA yourself. It just needs evidence of special needs and some evidence the school can't currently adequately meet those needs. Your comments above would imply that threshold should be met. Lots of advice on the SN boards linked above.

<preens>

One of my autistic children has excellent attendance, loves school and can attend when ill...

The other one, omg. Attendance is awful, gets everything going around, can't cope (mask) in school when poorly so gets in trouble as you get meltdown behaviour which is silly and obstreperous in appearance

Same fecking parent making the decision. (Me)

I have got them into school so many times when they are not feeling well cajoled him out of the house and into school when he is upset...if I wasn't trying it would be so much worse.

Does he go to school whenever he can? As long as your not letting him stay off for the sake of it which it doesn’t sound like you are i wouldn’t worry.

Getting the right support in place at school may make a massive difference too

I agree with Sirzy. You are not even slightly failing. Keep on getting him to school when you can. The school should be aiming to put in place support so he feels comfortable in school.

Yes he goes as much as possible . He actually loves it - when things go ok.
He has some anger issues at school but not home and I feel like we see when to intervene / distract so can avoid that but maybe at school the support level isn’t quite enough as nobody is seeing the situation deteriorating when there’s still time to ‘rescue’ it before he gets that upset

I've never heard of this as a target. It seems incredibly high.

We've just had our son's report card and it states:

Attendance: 95.71% - Excellent