Tips for having a baby and a toddler please?

[bulletjournaller]

Currently TTC a second child. I know I'm thinking ahead but I'm a planner. (1st child was during Covid so we weren't really able to plan ahead as everything was shut). Anyway I'm trying to look ahead and think about any ways I can organise our family life (including childcare) to help with having 2 DC.

If we can conceive soon then the age gap would be just under 3 years. Our DD1 will be starting pre-school in September 2023 aged 3, so when the new baby would be around 3-4 months. The pre-school is 30hrs a week, ending at 3pm. Until then she is only attending nursery a couple of sessions a week.

My husband often works late so it's usually me doing dinner and bath and bedtime alone. I work part-time 2 days but flexi and can finish by 3, and would take maternity leave.

We are lucky enough to be able to afford a little bit of extra childcare to help if it seems appropriate. We unfortunately don't have any grandparents or family to help us out at all though, so it's all down to what we can do within our marriage.

Questions / thoughts I've had are:

• in an ideal world should I arrange more childcare for DD1 for during pregnancy and newborn stage?

• once DD1 is at preschool and I'm on mat leave I would have the baby all day then both DC from 3pm till their bedtimes. Is there a knack to doing bath and bedtime with a baby and a toddler?

• I was wondering about potentially paying for a mothers help to watch the baby between 3pm-6pm so that I could play with DD1, so that she gets some time with me. It could be in the same room but would allow me to give DD1 a bit more of my focus. Does this sound like a good idea and has anyone ever done this? Eg had a mothers help for a few hours.

• are there any more things I can prepare for or any more tips for having a baby and a toddler in terms of bedtimes, or other routines?

Thanks

It just sort of happens and you find a way of things clicking onto place. I had a smaller age gap between mine (2 years) but things that helped us were:

DD1 went to nursery four days a week, even when I was on maternity leave. It meant she'd had lots of time playing with her friends and I had time to focus on DD2/go to baby groups and make new friends etc.

Get the baby used to being in one of those baby bouncer seats so you can put them down somewhere safe e.g when you're doing dinner or you're giving the older one a bath.

On the topic of baths. Scrap the daily bath for them. DD1 had a bath every night when she was little but when DD2 came along there just wasn't time. It was absolutely fine to just bath them every few days and wipe with a flannel on non-bath days.

I was lucky in that because DD1 went to nursery she got "proper" meals there e.g. would have had cottage pie for lunch and then beans on toast for tea there around 4pm so on her nursery days I could just give her something quick to eat before bedtime e.g a crumpet and some fruit or a cheese sandwich.

Interesting, thank you. I hadn't thought about the lunch situation at pre-school so that's a good shout.

Can I ask how you actually practically manage bedtimes if there's no partner there to help?