WTF am I going to do to get my health back on track?

[WhiteCircles]

DH died a year ago and c. a year's illness. He was ill during covid, 3 months in hospital with no visitors and completely bedbound and in a lot of pain when he came home. It was really though, but until his last weeks I kept working - work were great and gave me a lot of flexibility. I also had 6 weeks compassionate leave after he died and then some more time in the run up to Christmas, which unexpectedly I found incredibly hard.

Since then I've had 3 bouts of "flu". Illness that starts with a sore throat and leaves me completely exhausted and sleeping for up to 18 hours at a time. Lasting up to a week.

Work are still being very supportive, but it can't continue, I'm beginning to annoy myself. What can I do to help myself?. I eat well and exercise regularly. Try to follow the 5 ways to wellbeing to support my MH. What else should I be doing?

I've spent all day today in bed again, my legs, back, head and throat are killing me and if I sit for more than a few mins I'm asleep.

You may be depressed?
It can have lots of physical symptoms that people don’t realise, sleeping all the time is a big one and usually the one that happens to me when mine is getting bad
I would try antidepressants as it sounds as if you’ve tried everything else?

Could it be a stress response? Sounds like you’re doing everything else right. Definitely worth seeing your GP. Sorry for your loss 💐

@WhiteCircles - I'm so sorry you've been through so much and to hear your DH died 💐. It sounds like grief (and trauma) are affecting your immune system which isn't surprising at all given all you've faced. One of my DC died as a baby and I remember getting ill repeatedly in the year or so afterwards. I even got thrush in my mouth which was horrible. I've no fabulous advice really other to be kind to yourself. I found reflexology and acupuncture really good. Fermented foods are meant to be great for your gut and therefore immunity. Also, could be worth getting bloods done in case you're deficient in Vit D or iron or something? I really hope you start to feel stronger soon. Grieving is so tough ❤

I agree with PPs that you may be depressed and almost certainly have lowered immunity due to extreme stress. You could get your doctor to check your throat as recurring throat infections could be tonsilitis.

On a practical note - buy some First Defense and use it every time you go out in public - commuting, at meetings etc. It really does catch bugs and kill them before they take hold. When I remember to use it at the first sign of a sniffle or throat tickle, it always clears up. When I forget, it develops.

Take a good multivitamin and mineral supplement, herbal iron capsule and Vit D spray. Eat as much fresh stuff as you can, that needs little or no prep.

Deschedule as much of your time as you can. I find there is a massive difference in stress levels between thinking, 'Oh God, I'm missing class/drinks again because I'm so tired' and thinking: 'I'm too tired to socialise/exercise right now. I am taking the next month off from everything except work to do nothing but get well.' The first attitude berates you for feeling ill. The second one nurtures you.

But conversely, do schedule things that would genuinely energise you - maybe a walk in nature with a good friend or going for a massage

Ease into energy with some really tiny actions, like a 5-minute wake up yoga video or a 10-minute energising meditation if that's your thing.

It might be worth looking up some podcasts and books on bereavement, especially by anyone who has lost a spouse. Or contacting a local bereavement support group. Maybe you have done this already.

Bereavement is such a physical grief. It takes a while. I'm glad your work have been sympathetic so far.

I’m so sorry for all that you’ve been through @WhiteCircles .

Have you been to your GP and had a proper check up? Your symptoms could be attributed to grief but they could also have a physical cause and that needs to be investigated and ruled out.

All the very best to you 💐