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Help - moving away from mum tomorrow - nerves!

5 replies

tomissmymum · 21/06/2022 20:31

I’ve been at home full time caring for mum for about six months, previously cared for her on and off since age six or so (I’m now 31) . Nobody knows for certain what’s wrong if it’s early onset dementia or very severe mental health stuff .

She was admitted to hospital a month ago as she was becoming impossible to safely care for at home, and drs/social/family told me she’s going into a care home, it’s no longer my decision seemingly, which makes sense and family have found a lovely care home that takes all ages .

I’m leaving her house tomorrow, leaving the last few bits for family to do, and travelling back to uni to try and complete degree I started five years ago … I’ve only got one year left .

I’m going spare tonight . I’ve packed as best I can, I’ve tried to pack most of the house other than the garden (which needs a skip run) and shed and back hallway . I’ve tried to do everything else . I’m panicking I’ve forgotten something though. Pacing the house almost .

I’m leaving at 10.30 so think If I get up for 5, that gives me time enough to hoover through the house and do one final sweep before I go .

I’m so worried, I feel weird leaving mum in other people’s care and going all the way back to uni (150 miles) .

I had to say goodbye to mum’s GP yesterday too as she won’t be keeping on as mum’s doctor once she’s in a care home, so likely won’t ever see her again which has left me tearful too - she’s been a huge huge help .

What can I do to settle tonight? I’ve checked just about everything in the house, cleaned everything I can …

OP posts:
Gardengirl108 · 16/03/2023 22:35

Just saw this thread. It’s sounds like you did a great job. I hope you have had a good year at uni and are starting to build your own life.

BandyButter83 · 16/03/2023 22:43

@tomissmymum you are doing great. You only have one life. It seems you will get to live it now. Good luck! You will be just fine.

CuteAsDuck · 16/03/2023 22:43

Sounds like you've done really well getting everything sorted.

Make yourself a cuppa and get settled with something that's comforting wether it's a film you love or a book. A podcast maybe. Then try to get some sleep.

It's a very strange situation to find yourself in I'm sure after being at home with your mum for so long.

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WuTangGran · 16/03/2023 22:46

No advice, but now maybe it’s time to spend time looking after yourself. Good luck with your studies!

Corcomroe · 16/03/2023 22:49

It’s a big transition in lots of ways, OP. Let yourself feel it. Don’t brush it under the carpet. See a therapist to talk things though once you’re at university — there should be a university service. As a op said, now is a good time to practice some self-care. Best wishes for your studies.

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