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Original poster

Child bitten by dog - WWYD?

62 replies

turquoise1988 · 21/06/2022 20:12

A few months ago my DS (6) was riding a bike along a walking/cycle trail, a short distance away from us. We always ask him to stop every so often to let us catch up, but he knows never to go out of our sight. At one point he was waiting, stood still, straddling his bike on the left hand side of the walking trail when a family approached on the right hand side.

Their dog, which was on a lead, jumped across and knocked DS off his bike and bit his arm. Thank goodness he was wearing a coat, which cushioned the blow a bit. We didn't actually realise the dog had bitten him until the family had made a half-arsed attempt at an apology and then scooted off.

Anyway, a few months on, understandably, DS and younger sibling (4) are now terrified of dogs.

We continue to take regular walks and pass dogs. We visit friends' houses who have calm, happy dogs. We've talked about how most dogs are friendly, but that there are few irresponsible owners who allow their dogs into other people's space or don't train them properly.

What else can we do? Is there anything? Is the fear likely to ease as they get older? FWIW, getting a dog isn't an option as we are expecting a new baby soon and it wouldn't be sensible or affordable.

OP posts:
PestorPeston · 21/06/2022 20:13

Oh poor boy, how many stitches did he need?

Frequency · 21/06/2022 20:17

I don't understand?

Even a chihuahua could rip through a padded coat with ease and break the skin. How did you not realise his coat was torn and he was bleeding?

Do you mean an ill trained, young dog jumped on him and mouthed him?

A bite would have torn the coat and broken the skin at the very least.

Hellocatshome · 21/06/2022 20:19

Some dog trainers also run classes for people fearful of dogs you could have a look around, maybe ask on local Facebook pages if anyone has any recommendations.

Saucery · 21/06/2022 20:20

We continue to take regular walks and pass dogs. We visit friends' houses who have calm, happy dogs. We've talked about how most dogs are friendly, but that there are few irresponsible owners who allow their dogs into other people's space or don't train them properly.

This sounds perfect. When you are a child dogs are proportionally very much larger and therefore more frightening, especially when they are out of control like that. It’s more than likely he will grow out of his fear if you just stay calm and low key about dogs and make sure he meets nice ones, well trained ones etc.

Suddha · 21/06/2022 20:20

You should have called the police at the time. Not much you can do now unfortunately.

Original poster
turquoise1988 · 21/06/2022 20:21

The coat wasn't torn, but when we took the coat off you could clearly see the teeth marks in an almost arch-like shape on the skin. It didn't break the skin, thank goodness. I appreciate it could have been worse, but it was still a traumatic experience!

OP posts:
Original poster
turquoise1988 · 21/06/2022 20:22

Thanks @Hellocatshome and @Saucery - helpful responses Smile

OP posts:
Isaidnoalready · 21/06/2022 20:24

Frequency · 21/06/2022 20:17

I don't understand?

Even a chihuahua could rip through a padded coat with ease and break the skin. How did you not realise his coat was torn and he was bleeding?

Do you mean an ill trained, young dog jumped on him and mouthed him?

A bite would have torn the coat and broken the skin at the very least.

Bullshit a bite can bruise and mark the skin a BAD bite would rip the coat and break the skin either way its not the child's fault or the parents it's the ineffective dog owners

Frequency · 21/06/2022 20:25

Sounds like a very young dog. I'd stop calling it a bite and explain that puppies play and explore the world with their mouths. They don't mean to hurt and learn through play/training.

After that try to arrange playdate with well trained, older dogs. If you haven't many friends/family members with dogs try contacting a dog rescue or asking on Facebook.

If you ask on Facebook make sure you meet the dog first. Many dog owners love to believe their dog is well trained when it's actually a pain in the arse.

Isaidnoalready · 21/06/2022 20:25

Anyway your doing the right thing and it will take time to get over it and they may never lose that extra caution around dogs and quite frankly with some dog owners these days that's a good thing

Saucery · 21/06/2022 20:27

You’re welcome Smile I was bitten a couple of times when I was a child and met many bouncy big dogs with stupid owners. I was only ever wary of those dogs if that make sense?
My little brother used to hide behind me when we saw one Setter type - it really was a bouncy loon! Nephew also scared of dogs when small but now he fosters severely traumatized dogs for a Rescue.
So I hope your DS is ok and can put the bad experience behind him.

EvergreenForest · 21/06/2022 20:27

First two responses very unhelpful. How awful for him. To a child, the difference between a dog 'mouthing', clamping down gently and a full on bite are zero-all they see is an excitable / aggressive dog jumping on them and of course that's going to leave trauma.

Sounds like you're doing all the right things. There are also personalised books about a dog and his human friend you can buy which very much helped my niece conquer her fears.

DangerNoodles · 21/06/2022 20:29

How is that in any way helpful @frequency? Bite or 'mouth OP's DS has been hurt by someone else's dog. It is solely on the owners to keep thier animals under control.

OP I'm sorry for what happened, my son was attacked by a neighbour's dog at the end of last summer. I've been doing the same as you and he's slowly made progress. I do worry that he will always have at least a small fear of dogs. I've really had to work at not tensing around dogs myself as I always wonder if a dog is going to be like the one that attacked him. Do you find you are now more anxious around dogs yourself?

Original poster
turquoise1988 · 21/06/2022 20:30

Thanks so much for the helpful responses so far.
They love books so I'll look into this, and the Facebook thing too.

To the PP who assumed the dog was a puppy - definitely not a puppy. I am 100% sure it was a fully-grown adult dog, although not elderly. I've purposely not mentioned the breed because I don't want to create a frenzy and for people to jump in and assume that I am creating a bad name for them. Of course I understand that this dog is in the minority.

OP posts:
PestorPeston · 21/06/2022 20:31

Ta @EvergreenForest DSD spent 3 days in hospital due to a bite. But you know best.

Frequency · 21/06/2022 20:32

By calling it a bite and not explaining it was an overexcited, young dog trying to play it makes it more nefarious/scary to the child. Obviously, the dog should have been under closer control but a "bite" sounds more scary than someone's untrained puppy trying to play.

Original poster
turquoise1988 · 21/06/2022 20:32

@DangerNoodles yes, absolutely. I am trying to hard to stay calm on the outside and I think I do okay with it, but even now, when I see dogs bounding towards us when out walking I can't help but feel my parental instinct jump in and it makes me want to scoop the DC up to protect them.

OP posts:
DangerNoodles · 21/06/2022 20:32

We also adopted a couple of kittens recently who have helped restore a bit of trust in animals, I wouldn't get a dog. Would you be in a position to take in a smaller, lower maintenance pet for him?

Perfect28 · 21/06/2022 20:35

Why the duck are people excusing or condoning this? 'it wasn't a bite if it didn't break the skin', 'its just a pup exploring'. No, screw that. It's unacceptable. I wish fricking dog lovers would realise that many of us don't want to be jumped on by your dog, nor licked and absolutely not bitten.

Frequency · 21/06/2022 20:36

@turquoise1988 large breeds don't fully mature until 18 - 24 months of age. They look fully grown but are still very much puppies behaviourally.

Mine is 12 months old and looks adult but is still an absolute arsehole at times and still occassionally forgets himself and mouths when he gets overwhelmed, hence why he is never allowed to interact with young children without very strict supervision and control.

Original poster
turquoise1988 · 21/06/2022 20:36

@Frequency I'm not sure why you've assumed it was an untrained puppy? At no point have I stated this. As I've previously posted, it wasn't a puppy.

Also, it was a bite. You could clearly see the bite mark on his arm. What am I supposed to say..."oh it's not a bite, the dog just mouthed you?" How ridiculous. My children aren't silly. Whether it breaks the skin or not, it can still be a bite.

If you'd read my OP, I was actually looking for advice about how to best deal with the situation following the incident, not a debate about whether it does or doesn't class as a 'bite.'

OP posts:
DangerNoodles · 21/06/2022 20:37

turquoise1988 · 21/06/2022 20:32

@DangerNoodles yes, absolutely. I am trying to hard to stay calm on the outside and I think I do okay with it, but even now, when I see dogs bounding towards us when out walking I can't help but feel my parental instinct jump in and it makes me want to scoop the DC up to protect them.

Yes I was very much the same. I'm mostly fine now, it's just when an unleashed dog seems to come out from nowhere.

EvergreenForest · 21/06/2022 20:41

@PestorPeston Sorry about your DSD but a PA post asking about number of stitches when OP has clearly not mentioned this is not helpful. She has asked for advice not a debate on how bad a bite it was

I very much recommend Wonderbly for good personalised stories

MumbleAlwaysMumble · 21/06/2022 20:44

Frequency · 21/06/2022 20:32

By calling it a bite and not explaining it was an overexcited, young dog trying to play it makes it more nefarious/scary to the child. Obviously, the dog should have been under closer control but a "bite" sounds more scary than someone's untrained puppy trying to play.

Well it was a bite sorry.
The child had teeth marks on his skin despite being protected by the coat. With no coat, he would have been bleeding.

And the dog wasn’t young or a puppy. The child was still. The dog should have been under control, boisterous and wanting to play or not.

For a child that young, having a big (for them!) dog jumping at them, making them fall over and putting their arm into their mouth IS scary. No amount of playing on words is going to change that.

@turquoise1988 my dc was never bitten BUT if you looked at his behaviour towards dogs when he was about 6yo, you’d think he had had a really bad experience. He wouldn’t even come near my PIL dog, who was old, lovely and gentle and most importantly not moving!
Just letting come near the dog(s) in his own time has been enough for him to get over his fear. It took time but now as a teen, he isn’t scared anymore. You are doing great. Just carry on :)

BlueBlueCowWondering · 21/06/2022 20:45

It took my dc many sessions of hypnotherapy and other therapies to get over the trauma of a dog attack. It started a long series of other traumas so we had to help them deal with one at a time, hypnosis being the most effective.

And of course the owners got off scot free while we had years (and the huge expense) of a child with poor mental health. 'Just playing'. Sure 🙄