The job and children juggle

[OnTheGoAlways]

I have 2 DS one is 7 and other is 11 , they have a very turbulent relationship which is causing incredible stress. I parent alone. DS2 is suspected to have autism due to tics and behaviour and emotional regulation, he has some additional support at school (after reaching crisis), and the after school club will no longer have him for anything more than 1 hour. I parent alone, work FT and private rent. I am currently off with stress after grandmother nearly died, and LL told me she is thinking of selling, we have been living here for nearly 8 years. It just reached snapping point for me a couple of weeks ago.

Before I went off work I applied for a PT post as I realised my stress from work was probably making things at home worse. I don't really want to drop my hours. I work in HR and have a masters degree in HRM. I work in a lovely team with exposure to lots of different areas and close working with partners. In the office 3 days a week.The PT post I interviewed for last week. The post is 28 hours, much the same as I'm doing now, but working much less with HR partners. The line manager is so lovely and kind, I went to decline the post yesterday, I was honest and said the word autism is being banded around by school and GPs and CAHMS and I'm finding it difficult to come to terms with and unsure whether I should be making any decisions. She shared her experiences of her son with me, was so understanding and said they would love to have me and will be very flexible, I can dictate my WP and office only 1 day a week.

AIBU to leave my lovely team, and more career opportunities and take up PT post?

Thank you if you've read all this post!

Take the PT post! Seems like perfect timing, and v sensible reducing hours at this stage when you have so much going on.

It sounds like they really want you will be flexible working hours which is great. I'd take the offer.

Thank you for replying!

I know, it really seems like a no brainer in a sense...but we're already incredibly short of money, and so dropping hours means I'll be around £80/£90 less a month. But I have to balance that with making space for my children, especially DS2. Although I could have drop some dog walks and drop a few days in after school club, although ds2 only in for up to ab hour and he HATES it.

Hey OP. I have parented alone since my DC were 4 and 1. It was hard knowing what was the right thing to do and ultimately, for me, it came down to the fact that my children only "needed" me for a shirt while and that I could always pick up my career again later on as long as I didn't give up work entirely. 10 years later I'm not head of my department with a potential board position opening in the next 12 months. Do what is best for your situation right now not what might be. That should help with your stress levels too x

Thank you. I think you're right, it's really difficult to know what to do, I question myself all the time and I'm so bloody hard on myself. I'm horrible to be around when I'm so stressed.

I thought things would be easier as they grew up, but thats not been the case for us, we need to totally reset.

I worry about my future career and of course money is a constant worry, I'd love to be at a point where I don't dred birthdays and Christmas. So I feel like going part time will leave me falling behind even more. But I feel if I don't things at home might become even worse and take longer to detangle.

So the hours are similar in the PT post as in your current FT position? Do I have that right?

I think you should stay where you are. The high inflation rate means that your money won't be stretching as far, so you're effectively going to be earning even less in real terms than you are on paper (regardless of where you are). Plus with this big recession on the way you probably don't want to be new at a company. Last in, First Out, and all that.