2 children in quick succession and still thriving anyone?

[hawkshead2015]

I'm dilly dallying about having our second child even though I'm "older" and I know I need to get on with it. After 2 years my DD is finally becoming ever so slightly more enjoyable to parent - I'm getting decent sleep and enjoying her talking and communicating easier. I hated the baby stage and 12-18 months in particular I found hard work. Missed my career and my fitness etc.

Anyway I look at other women and see them popping out two children in quick succession and think how sensible, get it all over and done with! Eg Carrie Symonds / Johnson... and so many women I know in my area. I've delayed TTC as I'm not keen on parting with my new found sleep and tiny bits of freedom, but I know I'm only prolonging the agony!

Don't get me wrong, I really want the family with two children but just not the birth newborn and toddler bit! (I don't mean to sound flippant and in no way take for granted having a second healthy baby).

Has anyone had two children in quick succession and still managed to look fantastic, keep it together and not lose the plot entirely? I want to get to the place where I'm back at the gym and getting a teeny bit of time for myself again.

Any tips about how I can do this given having a second is surely just doubling the graft?

I did the quick succession 1 hit baby/toddler option, gap is 17 months, wouldn’t change it and very glad we did but life was a mess for a while and it’s expensive having 2 maternity leaves close together and then double whammy nursery fees - now they play together, are best friends, like the same things etc and we have time for ourselves and they are only small still really.

I think you know the answer, as too late for it to be quick succession now, if you want a second child then means restarting the baby stage but you may well find it very different second time round anyway

Mine are 23 months apart (now 16 and 18). It has been fine, a good gap overall, the first few years the house went to pot and we didn't have much free time or money etc but no regrets. It made their passage through pre-school and school easier organisation-wise as they were in the same place as each other for more years than siblings with bigger gaps. I thought this year would be horrendous (simultaneous GCSEs and A levels plus uni and college choosing) but it's been ok too, going to be expensive if they both go to uni and overlap though.

There are two years between my DDs and although it was tough, I actually preferred getting all the broken sleep/nappies/screaming baby bit out of the way at once. I think I'd have felt worse if I'd gotten used to sleeping well again and then had to go right back to the start, same with nappy changing etc.

DD2 is 3 now and things are so much easier. Plus they are close in age so enjoy lots of similar things and play together which helps I think.

I had 3 in 3.5 years. They are now 18 (yr13) , nearly 17 (year 12) and nearly 15 (year 10) .
Their baby, toddler and child years were great the close age gap was fabulous.
They remain very tight as a threesome and ery good friends.
But my god 3 teens is very very hard work. And I cannot tell you how long the exams go on for. We have had 2 years in row of GCSEd (not actually sat their gcses but all the stress anyway) currently DS1 doing A levels, next year DS2 and DD do A levels and GCSEs respectively. Then year off then more A levels. Plus they will all have left home in 3 academic years.
So yes small age gaps are great in many many ways. Gird your loins for the teens tho... my house is so busy, full of enormous people, it costs a fortune in food and I spend my life in the car. The logistics are mind blowing. Just got one sorted for uni and now doing it all again.
Love it tho

My two are 26m apart. My eldest is in nursery a couple of days a week and we have some family support. The baby is 2 months old now and is currently sleeping on me, giving me a great excuse to leave the house work and scroll on MN!

I wouldn’t say I look fantastic but I’ve kept up with hair appointments, manage to do my nails fairly often, and today someone told me I look seven years younger than I am, and they weren’t trying to sell me anything so it must be true. I have lost any weight I gained in pregnancy due to BF, so I feel okay about how I look overall. The house is actually in an okay state! Not as tidy as I like but I could have unexpected visitors and feel okay about it. However, I haven’t gotten back into any exercise and realistically I think that’s a while off yet.

The downsides are that due to EBF I’m not really able to do anything without the baby, and it’s hard balancing the needs of two little ones. I feel like I am never doing enough for either of them and feel guilty even though I am doing my best.

However, the second one has just slotted into family life and is no trouble at all, really. It’s not the same feeling of ‘what have I done?!’ that I had with my first. It’s also totally different being able to actually do things and see people while im off with her, this time around.

I had two fairly close in age because I want them to be into the same sorts of things at the same ages. I think that will make life a lot easier as they grow up. I also just felt like I wanted to get the baby stage, pregnancy, breastfeeding ‘out of the way’. I didn’t think I could go back to it once the eldest was in school like some people do. I have enjoyed being a mum more as my eldest has gotten older and don’t enjoy the baby stage as much (mainly the sleep, routines, unpredictability etc.). However now my baby is here, I don’t feel as desperate to ‘get it out of the way’ as I thought I would. A combination of finding it easier, knowing that none of this is forever, and knowing I won’t have these experiences ever again means I’m much happier with how it’s going this time around. The time is flying past and I’m trying to soak it all in a little more this time.