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Pre teen friends - would you say something

4 replies

lugeforlife · 20/06/2022 19:08

I have twins in yr 7 who have broadly the same friendship group. Dd2 struggles a little with friends as she likes being in the centre / for example she teases but can't take being teased.

They have a friend S - dd1s bf and general friend to dd2.

S has just started 'going out' with a boy dd2 'went out' with earlier this year. S is a bit shy and a bit self conscious about this but expects her mates to rip the piss much like she does when one of them likes someone. Normal 12 year old stuff.

Dd2 found out about S and this lad today and instead of the teasing, basically spread it around to everyone. Poor old S was mortified and upset bless her and basically dd2 was a cow. It's this kind of thing which sees her fall out with friends and then get sad. However I also think it's pretty basic yr 7 unpleasant behaviour.

The thing is, I know about this because dd1 told me. If they weren't twins I'd know nothing about it and it would stay at school. But this is exactly the kind of behaviour which causes dd2 problems. Also I think she's been really unpleasant and I want to tell her she knows better.

So do I pull her up on it (ww3 will break out between dd1 and dd2) or leave it as this happens all the time and is nothing to do with parents.

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 20/06/2022 19:18

Let them get on with. This is how they grow and learn

lugeforlife · 20/06/2022 19:40

Hah! Too late - it all kicked off over dinner as dd1 grassed her up. I told them I am not referring their squabbles and I expect them to be kind. Then I got up and walked away

OP posts:
123cupcake4 · 20/06/2022 19:45

As you know I think it's a good time to have a chat about being nice!

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123cupcake4 · 20/06/2022 19:46

And not spreading gossip. But apart from that let them get on with it

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