Moving on - single parent

[Wednesdayafternoon]

So I'm a single mym to two boys ages 5 and 2.
Their dad is in their lives.
I was married to their dad but he left me during my second pregnancy. He was extremely emotionally abusive towards me and I'm still receiving counciling to deal with the after effects of that. We seem stable now and in a better place. Our relationship is nothing more then co parenting and that's that.
Our divorce has been completed and we've been separated 2.5 years.
I spend most of my time with my children. I feel I've lost my social life completely and I'm really starting to see how lonely I'm feeling. I had a dream ast night about moving on and it made me fee SO happy, I felt like crying when I woke up 🙈 I'm so suprised by this feeling though... if anyone asks me I always say absolutely no to moving on etc because I see it as anytime I allocate to someone new is less time i get with my boys 🙈 But ever since my dream I'm feeling like maybe there's part of me that doesn't want to be so lonely.
I've found myself in a place where I've drifted away from my friends and I don't really have anyone and those I do have I don't have much in common with anymore. I have lost touch with a lot because all I've been is a single mum and a victim for so long... I don't even really know what I like or what so special about me anymore.
I don't know what moving on looks like 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does anyone have any words of advice or wisdom?

I'm very restricted with childcare and finances so just going and joining a hobby club isn't really something I want to do 😬

I don't know about words of wisdom but really well done in getting out of a toxic relationship, finding a new way of relating to your ex and bringing up your boys. That is seriously impressive!
I think the social life will follow. Things will get easier as your boys grow. Do take up any opportunities you can, get involved with the school and reach out to anyone who looks like they might be lonely or looks like they might be nice. You will get there I'm sure!

(NB I was a single mum for many years, met my current partner when my daughter was 10 and we have been v happy together 15 years )

With money/babysitting tight and no desire to start a club, maybe join the PTA at your kids school, make friends with some of the mums, which could in turn lead to more social stuff? Or take your boys to the local cricket club or similar - they always have social stuff going on.
You didn't mention if you worked but that's another avenue to making new friends and finding out more about who YOU are as a person.
Good luck x

All you've been is a single mum? You sound like you are doing absolutely beautifully to me! You have your priorities sorted, your kids have a stable mummy who's taking responsibility for healing from what's happened and you don't have any drama with their dad. You've moved on in so many ways, you sound like you're smashing it!

It's been a really weird couple of years on the social front for everyone, so many people I know are feeling odd socially, and you had a baby in that mix while solo mumming. Fully normal that you'd be feeling this way. Try and work on building up your friendships little by little here and there, I know it's hard with no cash and very little child free time, but just asking someone over for a cuppa once a week for an hour would be a start and would get you back onto people's radar so they start to involve you in plans. It's a massive cliche, but when you least expect it someone will crop up, and they'll be an addition to your life instead of a life raft to jump on!

Aww your replies are so lovely 🥺♥️
Thanks all!
I've really struggled with the concept of my children not being at home all the time because despite the fact they are with me most of the time, obviously (and rightly) they spend time with their dad too but I find it hard not being part of their life then. I have been worried about moving on because it would mean letting go even more... but maybe it doesn't have to mean that 🤷🏼‍♀️
I'm struggling with feeling lonely though, maybe that's why my dream was about!

Also yes I do work part time :)
I've been going into office as much as possible to interact but a lot still work from home annoyingly!

I found friends through joining singles parent holidays and local meet ups (try frolo and sptc) Sadly as DS is 12 now he's much less interested but it was great when he was younger

Also you might want to try local preschool groups (if you have week days off work) or ask your health visiting team if they can put you in contact with someone in a similar situation.