Learning to drive later in life in an automatic... any positive stories?

[Hamsternautss]

After not needing to drive and living in London I had about 30 hours worth of manual lessons when I hit 30 years old but still felt extremely out of my depth and found driving very stressful especially on roundabouts and trying to figure out right of way in the not obvious situations.

I stopped lessons when I was very pregnant with my 2nd daughter and just didn't get around to picking it back up again.

Im 35 now and we have moved out to Surrey and I really need lessons to ferry my kids about when they start at Junior School etc. Im due to start lessons in an automatic instead of manual in a few weeks in a hope that it's a bit easier than automatic and I can focus solely on the road itself rather than if I'm gonna fuck up changing gears and stall etc.

Does anyone have any positive stories of driving later on in life? I feel like it's the last chance saloon now. I never imagined I would be an adult with kids and not know how to drive.

Automatic all the way ! Passed over 40.

Once you have passed then practice going round the block everyday. Petrol prices permitting! Keep doing it unto it’s easy.

and get Waze on your phone. Life saver !

Precisely what I came on to say. I passed my test at 17 and drove manuals for years. I got an automatic 2 years ago-game changer. Why wouldn’t you!

I passed in a manual but then switched to an automatic and have never looked back.

I have ADHD/anxiety and was terrified of learning to drive a manual, so I booked an intensive course last year mid lockdown to learn in an automatic.

Lessons started last month and I absolutely love driving now. I haven't taken my practical test yet (had to have a few extra hours as I stupidly booked the low intensity course) but I can't wait to have that freedom.

Go for it! Mr partner learnt to drive at 40, my Nan and her friend in their 60's after they had been widowed. I think we have all been there when learning to drive and find some things easier than others. I find Hill starts ok but struggle to parallel park. I think you just need to get a good teacher and try these things on a quiet area until you are comfortable. I remember making my car jump like a kangaroo round a roundabout once and my dad shouted at me! I don't think you should give up learning on manual yet as you never know if you'll need to drive one but obviously do what you feel happier with. I think motorway lessons are good too once you have passed.

Passed this year in an automatic aged 47. Never thought I would. I still find driving scary, but at least in the automatic, my attention is on the road and not inside the car. I did some self-hypnosis using Youtube to try to handle my nerves and found it unexpectedly helpful.

This is making me feel very inspired! I'm a non-driver at 57, having been put off driving at 19 by very bad experience with my dad trying to teach me. I am an extremely anxious passenger and watch the road obsessively. I've always hated being driven on motorways particularly. My husband - the driver - sadly died last year and although I live in a place where it is easy to be without a car I am now finding it difficult facing a future not being able to drive. It has been tricky having to ask friends for favours to take DS's stuff back and forth from uni, for instance. I would definitely be looking for an electric car if I was to learn, so going for automatic-only lessons would seem sensible. I'm pretty physically dextrous and good at multi-tasking, so it is not the physical aspects of driving that worry me, but I have huge anxiety about other drivers. I feel I should also try as my DS(22) - who has dyspraxia - is fairly clear that he won't even try to learn, and seeing me learning might change his mind. Any recommendations of good companies for intensive lessons?

I passed aged 34 on my fourth attempt, the first time in an Automatic though.

I began to learn aged 18 but on my first lesson a misogynistic instructor told me that “some people are not meant to drive” this totally knocked the minuscule confidence that I had and I believed him for many years.

Driving an automatic is fabulous, I love driving and I’m a good driver, I’ve been driving for 16 years now and regret the years I wasted. If I could have five minutes in a room with that first instructor I’d tell him in no uncertain terms what a prick he was.

Don’t let an idiot instructor make you believe that you can’t do it, you bloody well can!

I used Waze once because my dad was raving about it. I accidentally ended up on the M1 (having never been on a motorway) when I wanted to go home using an A road. Apparently the M1 was the faster route so it updated the directions. I switched back to Google maps after that baptism of fire. 🤣

Ooh yes, I had the accidental ending up on the M1 too, although not using Waze. Luckily it was a Sunday morning so not as bad as it could have been.

Schrodingers, I think it's more about the individual instructor than the company. Break it down into steps - they're not so scary if you do them one by one. Apply for a provisional; start doing the theory (I started to enjoy doing the hazard section on the DVLA website - it helped me to start to imagine myself behind the wheel). Book one lesson with one instructor. If you're not comfortable with him/her, book one lesson with someone else. Gradually you can inch yourself closer to the goal.

35 isn't later life, its barely middle aged.

My mum was late 50s. And a colleagues mum was 60s. Both happy driving.

I actually think it is quite common in the older generation. To have had the Husband as the only driver and the wife learning when it became a need.

@Hamsternautss how are you getting on?
At 38 I'm biting the bullet and learning in an auto. I'm rubbish at multitasking, so manual was hopeless, sigh.
I've done about 18 hours I think, and there are moments where I believe I can do it, and moments where I think I'll never get it.

My grandmother learnt when she retired at 60. In a manual.

Urghh! Necro thread.

I did pass at 17 but didn't drive until my early 30s (and was terrified). We have a 7-seater automatic and it's a lovely drive. So much easier to not be worried about gears, especially around town in a big car!! Good luck, you'll do great.

Ooops me too @Oakbeam - where has the warning gone about old threads??? I thought there used to be a message.

Sorry, @Oakbeam and @WaitingOutside , I was looking for anyone else in my position and wanted to know how the Op was getting along. I didn't think of the consequences 😅

@GlumyGloomer

I've name changed since I posted this!

I've had 2 different instructors so far (one was bloody useless and really flakey but he helped with getting some confidence I suppose). I did about 10 hours with him and I've done about 13 hours with a new instructor who is absolutely fabulous and has really been thorough with me.

Automatic is so much easier for me and has helped me not get so flustered. Its so much better than faffing around with gears and I'm more confident in auto than I ever was in manual.

It's funny because like you I have times where I'm doing everything right and I think "I'm doing this... I'm really doing this" and then sometimes ill be totally thrown off by something and I think "how on earth am I ever going to be able to do this on my own?".

I find busy roundabouts quite difficult to feel confident that I can see where everyone coming from the right is intending to go with indicators and positioning etc. So sometimes I'm hesitating a bit too much. I also find getting onto a dual carriage way really daunting and just generally being on a dual carriageway when it's super busy. I struggle with knowing the roads and knowing where I need to be sometimes but I'm definitely getting better.

It's hard to know how far I have to go before I'm test ready but I absolutely refuse to give up. I lost my dad really suddenly in April last year and I'm doing this for me but also as a nod to him.

You can do it. I was everything you described and did think I will always be awkward and a numpty clumpsy dork forever.

Now I just bloody love my car and even more so after 3000 miles in Europe. My husband is now leaving tight parking to me.

Two women I used to work with had failed several times - one had failed seven times - and both passed first time after lessons in an automatic. Both were around 40 when they passed, and were completely happy with their automatic-only licenses.

I'm really interested to hear how you get on OP. I'm 38 and can't drive and have been thinking about doing exactly the same. I had a few lessons a few years ago but didn't click with my instructor and so stopped. I never really needed to drive as have lived in towns/cities with good public transport, my husband can drive, and I like walking, but I always intended to restart lessons again at some point. Then the pandemic hit and lessons stopped and then afterwards it was hard to get anyone as they all had big backlogs/waiting lists. I've just had a baby though and have realised how much easier things would be if I could drive places with him. When I did have lessons, it was always the gears I struggled with (I always wanted to look at my feet to find the clutch) so am thinking automatic might be the way to go. Please do keep us update with how you get on.

@redlou123

I used to live in zone 4 in Greater London so I didn't ever really need to drive in my day to day life with my 2 kids. When the third baby came along and we had to move it's just a total different ball game.

For example today, my other half has gone to work (about 40 mins commute in the car) and my eldest daughter is poorly and off school and I have a 2 year old at home too. It would be so much easier to jump in the car and drive to the drs 2 miles away than to have to faff about with getting the bus or taxi like I'm going to have to do this afternoon.

I would say if you can afford to have lessons it's worth booking in advance and to just go for it. I had to wait a while to start my lessons.

With automatic you keep the left foot tucked away to the left inactive and just use the right foot to stop and go. I don't even think about the mechanics of working the car at all now or even steering, that just happens without any thought. Actually driving the car is a doddle. It clears up a lot of time to just focus on the roads and other cars.

I will update when I pass because I 100% will. I'm really looking forward to having more independence away from public transport or relying on my OH.

I did it when I moved out of London in my 50s. Had quite a few lessons before I was confident enough to take the test but passed first time. It's much easier than a manual.

I drive locally almost every day and several times a year on the motorway visiting family.

Go for it!

@Obeythedancecommander thanks for coming back to update, it sounds like you're doing great! I've not been allowed anywhere near a roundabout or dual carriage way yet, its all parked up residential roads and I hate it.
My sense of positioning is really bad, like I can look at the mirrors, but I can't translate what I'm seeing into distance from the curb. It's backwards and distorted, and I just have trouble processing? I really hope it's not insurmountable.

I did an intensive course in a manual at 29 but just couldn't get away with it and failed the test at the end. Did about 10 hours (spaced out) in a automatic while waiting for new test and it was a game changer. Once I wasn't stressing about gears I could actually concentrate on the road, and everything else just clicked.