5 year old laughed at by dad for nightmare

[Buzlightyear1]

Hi so I split with ex 3 years ago , he was a horrible person who was removed by police for infecting herion in front of our then 2 year old. He has little contact as hes rubbish I do supervise when he does come although trying to change to contact center.

Today my son called his dad to say happy fathers day, ex was going on about me letting him see our son ove never stopped him plus he was supposed to be talking to 5 year old. He then asked our son what his favourite TV show was, son answered the show but said only the new ones the old ones give me nightmares. This is when ex laughed at our son, who then burst into tears. Ex tried to make out he was laughing as he used to have the same but our son cried with me on and off all day. He then said just a min ago mummy its normally you daddy speaks to like that he never normally does that to me. I'm gutted and don't know what to do ? What do I even say to that sorry a bit pointless to post just really upset and angry I've let this happen.

That's really hard as your ex sounds awful. Could you try a version of the truth? Start by asking your son what the right reaction would be for someone who had had a nightmare- discuss feeling sad for them, giving them a hug etc. then you could explain that Daddy doesn't always understand the right way to act or the right thing to say. Sometimes he chooses to be mean and pull people down rather than build them up. You could explain it's nothing to do with your son it is a failing of his daddy. Help your son to see that adults sometimes get it wrong and that it's their problem not his.

The poor little guy. Ex will always be a horrible person. To his son, as well. There will be more tears. It’s so difficult to deal with, OP. But please know that you did not let this happen! And you’re the one comforting your child. He has you.

Thank you that really helps, explaining in that way. He had asked me not to try and make him happy which was awful but I did say its ok to be sad sometimes and gave him a big hug.

Thank you I can't help but feel I let this happen I should have gone to court years ago. Still now I'm terrified to rock the boat but I have a great friend who won't let me not now 😅 she reminds me of all the stuff I need to be reminded off and how we will be safer.