Screaming tantrum from DH!!

[TheViscountessBridgerton]

Will start by saying his ADHD meds went up their final increment today, so he's on quite a high dose and I don't think he needs them that high.... BUT!

Our front door handle got broken today by a kid knocking for our teen DS It was already partially broken and a new one is on the way. But today it broke off completely. Irritating and obvious security risk. DH grumbled and moaned and got his toolbox out.

The door handle cannot be "fixed" in any way so we will have to come up with a solution until the other handle arrives (stupid door, special handle, not a B&Q job.) My reaction was "oh no, could have done without that, how are we going to sort that?"

His was to scream, repeatedly swear, throw things, shout, storm off, bang tools around and generally react off the scale. Such as I'd expect a billionaire to react if a crash had wiped out quarter of his worth in the stock market. He put headphones on and some sort of loud music to drown out the sound of me cooking in the kitchen and our son playing so that he could concentrate, but the main effect was that he couldn't hear me telling him to stop screaming and swearing.

Eventually he took his headphones off to tell me that he hates the kid who ultimately knocked the handle off, and that he is to be banned from
the premises forthwith. Came to the doorway, angrily glared into the room and very loudly said "I HATE that kid!!" Our young DS looked upset and said "do you mean me?" I explained that no, he didn't mean him and went out into the hallway to speak to DH.

I told him that there's no way the kid would ever have thought the handle would fall off if he touched it, and DH could to either step away from it or calm down because it was not okay to react like a teen having a tantrum when our little boy was in the next room quite confused and alarmed at it. I was as well! He clenched his fists (with his back to me) and then stormed off upstairs, leaving all his tools scattered through the hallway. Our teenagers are utterly bewildered and stunned by his behaviour. He is not normally like this.

I'm angry, worried, disgusted by his lack of concern for how frightening he was..... is it the medication?? Or has he suddenly morphed into an absolute wanker?

No, it’s HIM that needs to go elsewhere!

Amphetamines, blood pressure is my first thought.

@Soontobe60 whatever works quite frankly. In my situation it was easier and nicer to go to my mums and be looked after, as he had nowhere to go.

I think he's probably feeling shell shocked and trying to process what happened. He's probably feeling very ashamed and if he's still feeling emotional then he's doing the best thing to keep himself apart.

I wouldn't worry about receiving an apology before tomorrow.

My dh was incredibly emotional after his. He never ever cries and I saw him cry several times during and after coming off the meds. They just don't work well for some people.

I'm not concerned yet with receiving an apology. To be honest, much like children when they've had an epic meltdown, I think he needs to go to sleep. In the morning, I'll ask him to call the doctor before taking the medication and see if they think it can be stepped back down to 36 or if they want to pursue 54mg or even try a different medication. The 36mg did seem to be working well for him, apart from him having little to no appetite. I don't think they give it enough time to see if that's an acceptable dose. He had 18mg for a week to get him used to the medication and then up to 36 for 10 days, now he's meant to go up to 54 for 2 weeks and then it's a meds review, but I think he needs medical advice at this dose. It could just be the medication in general, or a combination of those and the fact that he's a 4 on, 4 off nightshift worker so his sleep pattern is always all over the place.

I don't know if a fast release med would be a better choice for him, but I know 100% I cannot have that kind of unpredictable outburst as an accepted side effect to be unleashed at random

My boyfriend has ADHD and when he was having his meds trialled, he was sometimes really ragey (I've never witnessed this but he has told me). He got into trouble at work for an overreaction to something. Now his meds are stable (Xaggitin 54mg, with an 18mg top up when needed) he's much more able to control his temper. It was the increase up to 54, plus also an increase in his blood pressure meds at the same time, that caused the temper to flare more.

Yeah dh had hardly eaten a thing for 10 days. I'd be making dinner for us all and he would pick at it after not eating a thing all day. Probably didn't help.

I think you're right OP, the dose and also the shift work won't help. If these meds aren't working, it might be worth asking about Modafinil which can be prescribed off license for ADHD. I'm only mentioning it because sometimes it's prescribed for shift workers (also for narcolepsy and sleep apnoea). I'm trialling it atm as tbh I'm a bit scared of amphetamines 😬

Make sure he is eating enough calories and drinking enough fluids. He needs to have breakfast every day and have the mindset that eating 400 calories for lunch is compulsory

OP, it seems like your husband has had a big jump from 36mg to 54m Concerta. I think they usually step up in 9mg increments, but for some strange reason they don't make a single 45mg tablet.

My son is also on this and we only found out much later that drs can issue a 45mg dose by prescribing 27mg and 18mg to be taken together at the same time. This was the right dose for our son - 36mg was too little and 54mg too much.

Hopefully this may help if he needs to adjust his dosage

I’ve tried Modafinil for ADHD.

even a quarter of a normal dose makes me irritable. After three days of it, I start crying for no reason. A normal dosage had me a bit ragey within a couple of hours. It’s a good thing I live alone as no one else had to suffer my experiments.

I think 36 was good better than this for him, but I understand he's just had the one day on 54. I think it might be the same- that his ideal dose be 45mg. Because I think he felt that 36 was good but he wasn't feeling the full effect everyone was talking to him about.

He's come downstairs and asked the teens if they want to play an Xbox game with him. First he told me that he wanted to ask them to play because he wanted to do something nice with them as he felt he had ruined everyone's day. I didn't confirm that he had or that he hadn't, I didn't think either would be helpful in maintaining the mindset of making things up to his kids.

I'm still annoyed, even though it's probably unreasonable of me to be. It's just that it was Father's Day and the kids were all doing things for their dad, things to make him happy, and he ended up losing his absolute shit over a broken door handle and making everyone unsettled and nervy. Made the kids all feel quite upset and awkward. Littlest one drew a picture for him, all to do with minecraft, which he plays with all the kids, and he just put it to one side and came to cuddle me quietly because he was so disturbed by his dad screaming at a broken door handle and kicking his tools about everywhere. I did explain to him that Daddy is taking some medicine to help him think more clearly, but sometimes the medicine can make people feel very cross when their body is getting used to it. He nodded and said ok but I could just see that he was still upset and didn't know what to do with himself, as the whole situation was so far outside of his normality.

It makes my legs and back feel stiff and sore. I dropped to 50mg as a test but tbh then I lose the adhd benefit. So Idk. Did u change meds @EmmaH2022?

36mg LR with a top up IR might be a better option.

I faffed around with Xaggitin/Concerta for about 15 months, varying doses, varying combinations, and it was a nightmare. The crashes are very hard - for me, I’d all of a sudden become very overwhelmed by even the tiniest things, and I’d either sob or scream into a pillow.

Fortunately there’s no weaning off period for most of these meds, and I swapped to Elvanse which has been a game changer. The crash is so soft I barely feel it, but can also tell it’s wearing off so I know to gear down for the day.

Squirrel I don't take anything now.

DH has been much better today. Apologetic and pleasant. I'm worrying about another crash but so far so good....

It can take really quite some time to find the right dose of adhd meds, my son is only getting there now after a couple of months ( he is tiny, primary aged and is on 40mg just for context). He did have to change type and trialled a small additional dose for managing come down, but it extended the time he wouldn’t eat for.