Struggling with Sundays

[ActonBell]

I have 2 DS, aged 5 and 6 months. DH works a half day (occasionally a full day) every Sunday and also works some Saturdays. I always take the boys out on a Saturday, with DH if he is around. Yesterday we went to the beach (though DS1 watched a lot of telly while we were getting stuff together to go).

Sundays are a real struggle. I used to take DS1 to church where they do a nice craft and have a biscuit and a drink but he really struggles with large group situations at the moment and I can’t give him the focused attention he needs because of the baby.

I just feel so shattered on a Sunday and we end up inside all day with me aimlessly wandering about bouncing a grumpy, dribbly DS2 on my hip whilst DS1 watches hours of PJ Masks. I never feel like I can face another day out with them on my own and there’s nowhere we can walk to. We also have a very small garden.

The only other things we’ve done today are make pancakes and read a long-ish book together. How do I get to a better pattern in place for a Sunday? I don’t mind a bit of vegging but I know DS1 really shouldn’t watch hours and hours of cartoons.

there’s nowhere we can walk to

Why? Do you live very rurally?

Are there no parks near you?

Do you have a car?

Is there absolutely nothing within walking distance? Even a walk around the block can be entertaining if you make it a "thing" (make a list of things DC needs to find?)

Anyone you can visit or invite round for a visit?

You don't need a massive garden. Any outdoor space can be used for a small paddling pool / bubbles / picnic outside.

One of mine loved to wash their lego in the paddling pool. Kept them quiet for ages.

Another one liked to rearrange my cupboards.

There is nothing wrong with downtime. We're actually in by choice today but I do feel a little like I'm wasting the day.

We live in a city suburb that’s very deprived. The nearest park is just about walkable but it’s also a bit of a state in terms of litter, broken glass, etc. When we go out for the day I drive them as there is coast and countryside fairly nearby but DH needs the car for work on a Sunday.

I’ll try and think of some garden ideas. Bubbles could work. The space is so small that a ball game risks bashing DS2 in the face as he’s got to be out there with us. I’ve tried a play tent and water play but they don’t seem to occupy DS1 for long.

Does your dh actually use the car whilst at work? If not, maybe you could drive him there and pick him up...then you'd have the car to yourself during the day

Why can’t you take them out alone? I’m a single parent and take my kids everywhere alone (I have 4)

Op don't put pressure on yourself to be doing stuff all the time, it's fine if you just chill and don't go out on a Sunday! If you're not enjoying the day at home and feel cooped up with the dc then yes totally understand wanting to go out / find activities to occupy them, but don't feel like you "should" be going out and everyone else is. Nothing wrong with staying at home and god forbid I'm saying this on mn but letting dc watch tv

This sounds like just what Sundays are for tbh. You can’t pour from an empty cup - make your Sundays at home nice and relaxing for you ALL to recoup for the week ahead

@BiscoffSundae - sorry, I wasn’t very clear. I can and do take them out on my own pretty much every Friday afternoon (DS1 has a half day at school) and every Saturday DH is working. I just find that by Sunday I’m out of energy/ideas for some reason! All credit to you for doing it with 4 all the time. It must be proper exhausting.

@Comedycook - most of the time he does unfortunately as he’s between sites on a Sunday but we might be able to work something out.

@Ivyy and @HRHBreathMints - thanks for your kind words

I think I was just in a bit of a funk as I often am on a Sunday for some reason. Got both DS out in the garden after posting this and we did a bit of bug hunt. That kept DS1 happy for a bit. We’re about to do board games.

Oh that’s fair enough and Normal tbh going out every day is exhausting sometimes we just chill in

Was the Sunday school group really too big for DS, OP? His class at primary school must have 20 or 30 kids, surely?
I used to teach Sunday School and we had 25 kids ranging from 3 to 12, mainly boys, who had a whale of a time. Especially refighting the battle of Jericho…
Letting him have fun at Sunday school while you have some gentle 1:1 with baby during the service (or going for a walk in the church grounds) sounds a perfect start to the day. DS might then be happy with books and lego, or playing with the neighbouring children, especially if he’s already had an outing on Saturday.

Re church, have you tried checking out other churches in your area, or even just speaking to vicar / minister / priest in your current church about how they can help? IME many churches do appreciate children & families and want to help where they can - they may just not quite know why you aren't around any more & not want to pester? Would a smaller church work? Our not-huge congregation has enough children & families for there to be a little community, but it's still small enough not to be overwhelming (each of our Sunday School age bands averages three to five kids on any given Sunday).

DH works weekends sometimes and I have no easy answers, bar saying that it definitely gets easier (my youngest is 7 now). Even now I find that we really need to get out & about each day though, even if it's just an hour at the park. Another option might be to look at a club or similar for your older DS? Even something that only lasts an hour will break up the day a bit.