Uni open days. What happens and how expensive are they?

[CrapBucket]

DS is much keener on going to uni open days with his friends than with me. That's fine and I'm glad he is independent.

But I am on a tight budget and would appreciate some advice on (a) what do the open days entail, will they be structured so he is actually engaged or is it a good laugh and chance to piss around with friends (b) apart from travel costs what spending money would you reasonably recommend he needs for meals - I'm thinking of covering his train costs and £20 a day for food (based on a supermarket meal deal lunch and fast food for tea) - or is it like theme parks/festivals when they have a captive audience and charge an absolute fortune?

I am totally happy to go without myself, to invest in his future but less happy to do that for a series of fun weekends away...

We don't qualify for pupil premium so there is nothing official for me to apply for but I could see this getting expensive!

A university open day doesn't cost anything in itself.

You have to pay for your own travel and subsistence unless it's an offer-holder day.

Most will involve a subject talk (which includes the university as a whole), an accommodation talk, and some stalls about extra curricular activities. Some are better than others.

We provide lunch at our open days, but it will depend on the individual department.

One thing to bear in mind is that some university cities are much more expensive than others - halls fees/private rental, so if finance is an issue he might need to reconsider where he chooses to go to university. Tuition fees are the same at every university BTW.

It is concerning that he is only looking at universities because his friends are though. What does he really want to do?

As pps have said, it's a good idea to go to your local ones even if you're not applying there to give yourself something to compare to. Our local one has open days this coming Fri and Sat, and my D2 is going to go. She's not thinking of applying there for next year, but wants to get an idea. You have to register online (free, it's just for numbers) and download the timetable to plan your day. The cafés will be open - coffees, drinks, sandwiches, or breakfast buns (about £3) lunches range from soup and a roll (£2) jacket potatoes with filling and salad, slices of pizza, or hot meals are about £5.

At the one I'm just graduating from - they use the chance to showcase the uni food village offering as well as the departments so they'll have sample stalls outside as well as the food village open - which does things like pizza slices, jacket potatoes, salad bar and stuff - all really quite cheaply (I never bothered taking sandwiches as the uni food stuff was so cheap). Other than that, ours always wheel out some of the student societies to showcase things, the faintly-terrifying uni mascot will be accosting people at random, and have people guiding around the individual departments etc.

There are certain universal laws of uni open days - the science bods will always be fucking around making ice cream with liquid nitrogen, the biology lot will have the department skeleton out and about (gave me a fright when I ran into that in a darkened corridor the day after an open day) etc... for some reason our SU is obsessed with their candy floss machine as well.

I took Ds to all his open days. They were all on a Saturday apart from one which I took a day off for. One involved an overnight stay, that was the most expensive.

The basic format was a welcome talk, tour of the department, (ds’s subject is music so usually he was interested in facilities and equipment) subject talk then the opportunity to visit accommodation/student welfare/library etc. You could ask questions at various points and I was an extra pair of ears to digest information.

food was usually a paid for brunch in the student cafes etc (Salford gave you a voucher to spend in the shop) and McDonald’s on the way back to the train/car. £10 would cover everything.

I used to have to take my turn giving talks plus be on the recruitment stall at the last dept I worked in.

The days of free food laid on are a bit over but he doesn’t need much money, I would suggest he takes snacks for the train and £20 is more than enough.

Its showcased at its best, the best thing to do is ring a University dept when it’s not an open day with an innocuous question without giving your name and see how helpful the staff are then.

Even the most obnoxious colleagues I had were nice on open days.

I'll be taking my DD. She's going to shortlist and I'll drive her and we'll get lunch/make a day of it.

As others have said, get your son to focus on course first. Do the hard legwork, research online before even deciding to visit anywhere. On-line is really good now, lots of tours, accommodation, and opportunities to chat to students and tutors in real time if you book slots. DD had a very good conversation on-line with a professor of History at Warwick for example. A good 20 minutes, and she sent loads of info by email too. Much more than you would get on a visit tbh.

Anyway, we never visited Exeter, too far away, and a bit restricted due to Covid. Both DD and her BF are there now, and very happy regardless. Neither got their first accommodation choice, her boyfriend and best friend both got somewhere completely random, not even on their list.

Shouldn’t be expensive. Ours laid on lunch.

Both my Dds went off to uni in the last couple of years. Dd21 went to 5 open days with her dad (got him more ,"invested" in the education process) Dd19 went to 2.

The value of the open days for them was deciding if they wanted a city uni or a campus one (campus for both) and to get them to appreciate the sheer size and numbers of people going.

When they saw the huge tiered lecture theatres, the 5 cafes for lunch, the 12 accommodation blocks, they realised it was not "just more school". And then they had lecturers... published authors, and some off the telly, who spoke to them as equals, encouraging them to come to their uni, showing interest in them.

There was immense value in the experience of uni open days. I was very grateful for them, they inspired my kids to go, and now they are helping out showing the future cohorts round.

None of the universities we visited offered a free lunch.

nope, parents don’t need to go.
financially- It’s the child that will be taking the loans and paying them back for years. If they want their parenteral contribution to maintenance it’s up to child to tell parents how much expect that to be and how it’ll be paid. Sure parents Ned to know to. But at17/18 the child needs to take accountability and start engaging in being financial savvy and responsible.
I’ve never heard of kid who got swept along by mates to go somewhere or do a certain course. Frankly if they’re that susceptible it’ll be a disaster for them, to go to uni until they’ve matured. Really, do you think so poorly of your kid that you think their mates will determine what they do?
let these young people learn to adult without you, stop holding the apron strings. Really. They aren’t going to listen to your extra pair of ears…or they shouldn’t any more than their mates.
If they want you to go, and specifically ask you, for first event..sure.but they really do need to learn to do this on their own . For many it’s first time they’ve navigated getting round the country by train and a good learning experience in its own right

Parents DO need to be aware of how student finance works. The maintenance part of the loan is based on household income - parents need to fill the form in or else the child will get the base amount.

Some teens actually DO get swept along ( ever heard of peer pressure?). And many DO struggle with making their final choices- hence why it is useful to have a parent along. Many parents DO have a relationship with their children which includes discussing options

Parents DO need to be aware of how student finance works. The maintenance part of the loan is based on household income - parents need to fill the form in or else the child will get the base amount.

It's pretty easy to find that out without going to the open days though.

If they want their parental contribution to maintenance it’s up to child to tell parents how much expect that to be and how it’ll be paid. Sure parents Need to know to. But at 17/18 the child needs to take accountability and start engaging in being financial savvy and responsible.

I agree with @spotcheck. IME teenagers don't really take in all the serious student loan stuff and/or don't have the headspace to do so or emotional maturity to think it all through. Your teenagers must be terribly mature to take all that in and relay it all word for word @EmilyBolton.

They are far more interested in what they are going to be doing for the next 3/4 years and where they are going to be living.

We started looking at universities when DD was in year 12 and was still 16 (July birthday), and the last thing she was thinking about was student loans.

This is the best option.

That way he is less likely to use the day as a chance to piss around with friends.

It's also a good idea to visit the local uni if there's one nearby so that he can get a feel for what he needs to be looking for.

Lots of unis have financial schemes for those with less privileged backgrounds. But generally it is a very expensive way of gaining qualifications so I would keep an open mind and look at apprenticeships etc.

Obviously you want to make sure he actually attends the relevant talks and tours. There will be a campus tour, an accommodation tour, an overview of the programme and sample lectures. There will be a chance to meet lecturers and ask questions.

If he wanted to he could skip it all and no one would know. Is he conscientious or does he just want a cheap night out in a different city. Most parents do accompany their kids along in my experience.

There is SO much information to take in on these days. Teens may not think of things like small print on accommodation contracts or transport of located off site. They may not class themselves as disabled for DSA purposes whereas the parent might know better. They may not think to ask questions about module choices (not always guaranteed). Having an extra pair of eyes and ears is very useful.

You get a tour of the campus/Uni, perhaps some talks, get to talk to lecturers and students, get to see accommodation blocks. Sometimes there's free tea and coffee, usually not.

So just food and travel costs.

Just planning ours now. None seem to have course specific talks just general welcome talks. I'm going - dc missed a huge amount of education due to illness and is catching up on life skills. I don't want them to waste a day not finding the right place etc or getting overwhelmed. Uni is over a year away and a lot of development of life skills to come.

You might find that there are subject specific talks when you get there @OneFrenchEgg. If the student knows what they want to study I would say that the subject talks are the one thing they should attend.

When DD was looking at medicine we didn't bother looking at accommodation because she just wanted one offer, and didn't want to only fall in love with one university.

Thank you that's good to know, I'm hopeful that's the case! I feel quite stressed supporting them to do this as they are very behind in growing up but that's my job for the next year.

But that means your child will be putting 5 random universities down for their first 5 choices. Bonkers.
And there is a risk that they can't attend the applicant day ( exams/ assignments etc).

But mostly the first thing

That’s a terribly cop out thing to state. No, they weren’t terribly mature.

But they knew full well we were not wealthy, and that they did not feel entitled.. They’d worked and had their own money before . From 11 we’d given them a monthly allowance which included them paying for their own clothes (not essentials like school uniform and undies, but their casual clothes), games, sports activities and personal spends etc). So, they were used to budgeting and managing their money. They also knew that we as parents we weren’t going to sit around with heads in the sand to wait until they got to 17 and uni open days to understand how we and them would fund their uni education. They knew before they went to open day how funding would work because we’d done our homework and then been discussing it with them well before. No parent should be waiting till open days to figure out how Uni funding works 🤦‍♀️

However, I am of generation where my grandmother was living away from home in service working 6 days a week by time she was 14. And one of my grandfathers ran away to join the army in First World War at age of 16. He was wounded, probably thankfully, and invalided out at age of 17 and half. My father in law won a mention in dispatches in ww1 when he 18- for an act of deliberate and calculated bravery.

Any 14 plus year old is cable of being independent if we let them and expect them. It doesn’t make them perfect, they can be selfish (I think they’re programmed that way iimho🤦‍♀️) , and they can be know all, priggish etc. They’ve still got a lot of growing up to do…but they can certainly be mature enough to make decisions on their own future.

besides, I would add plenty of kids end up realising after year 1 at uni that they’re on “wrong course” or at wrong uni - it really isn’t the end of the world. I changed my course at end of year 1. It happens to lots of students each year . These are not life and death decisions. merely a choice and preference that can be changed later if needed. It’s like ”failing” A levels..it really isn’t he end of the world for kids, even if they feel it at the time. Actually they can get a lot out of failing at that age and learning from it. I failed A levels. resat. Went to uni a year later and benefitted from the lessons I learnt from failing.

kids will make mistakes. Just like adults. It’s a learning. It’s important to let them do that to turn into confident, curious, capable human beings.