Is it hard to make friends in Ireland/UK?

[janef001]

This is not me saying it but one of my friends. She's originally from East Africa but grew up in Ireland and the UK. She finds that although people are friendly, it's much more difficult to get into someones inner circle of friends which they've usually established in secondary school/college. She says it's a contrast to where she's from and that people are willing to invite you over for a meal after knowing you a few months.

Is this actually true?

I think it depends on where you live a bit.

In poorer areas I have found people move less and friendships circles are established young.

In wealthier areas where people move around a lot, much less so. But people are often v busy with long hours etc, so you have to make an effort to get to know people by joining lots of things you are interested in. Also if you want to be invited, then invite people to your home.

I have lived in Uk and Ireland and think this is broadly true in both, although outside Dublin Ireland is more family orientated in N and S, so I think the Uk is slightly easier as a blow in.

I've moved a hell of a lot, have lived in both UK and ROI and I'd say she's right in a lot of the UK/Ireland. The only place I've found people to be more open is in niche interest/hobby groups e.g. D and D or LARP where you don't just start a hobby, you get a whole friendship group. I'd imagine there are other similar situations out there but neighbours/coworkers tend to be seriously distant from each other compared to when I've lived in other parts of the world. And also "why did you move here?" which is the world's stupidest question next to "where are you REALLY from?"

Hit post too soon. Meant to say:

And also "why did you move here?" which is the world's stupidest question next to "where are you REALLY from?" adds distance and reinforces the whole "you're an outsider" thing.

When I lived abroad, I was asked this a lot. Never bothered me. People are, naturally, curious and people move to and fro overseas for all sorts of reasons.

Now, the question 'how did you get here?' always made me laugh.

OP, it is harder to make friends as we get older but not impossible. As PP said, any hobby clubs you can join or anyone at work appeal to you, friendship-wise?

It's impossible to make friends with people who have stayed where they grew up. They're incredibly closed off. I gravitate to other foreigners - far more friendly!

It's hard for immigrants to make friends. Which is why we often make friends with each other . Wherever you go you're an outsider and a huge number of people everywhere just want their lives to be the same as they always were. Those of use who move around have heard, "it's hard to make friends in..." in a number of countries.

It just takes a long time to make old friends.