Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

WWYD – DSS locked out of the house

28 replies

monsterastuckiosa · 17/06/2022 22:02

Argh.

DSS(16) has locked himself out of the house without his phone (he walked his girlfriend to the bus stop, realised he'd forgotten his keys as she got on, and she texted DP from the bus to tell him).

DP is at work until 11:30 and can't leave (he's literally on stage).

I live 35 minutes away by car, and I'm working early tomorrow so I'd be going down and back home tonight.

We don't know where DSS is for sure – but his girlfriend said he was going to go back to try and get in through a window (instead of walking to DP's workplace which was 10 minutes' walk from the bus stop <insert facepalm here>).

He has form for forgetting his keys and part of me thinks an hour's boring wait outside might help him remember them in the future! (They live in an apartment block so he could get into the building, just not into the flat, and all the neighbours know one another so I'm not worried about his safety)

But I also know how shit it feels to have done something like this (goodness knows I've locked myself out before) and I'm tempted to drive down and let him in.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Redglitter · 17/06/2022 22:04

I'd let him wait til his Dad gets home. Might make him a bit more careful in future

underneaththeash · 17/06/2022 22:05

He’ll be fine - I have a 16 yo. He needs to wait.

User3568975431146 · 17/06/2022 22:05

You're only 35 minutes away, it's only 10pm not that that matters, so you go and let him in. Keeping him safe is number one priority.

I'm not sure why this is a question to be honest.

Mthe · 17/06/2022 22:05

He's 16 and can get into the communal part of the building so will be safe. I'd just leave him to it until his dad gets home.

TooHotTooGreedy · 17/06/2022 22:06

Depends on the area I suppose. Is he going to be safe loitering in the street for an hour?
I’d probably have to drive there, but I’m a worrier and would feel awful if some drunken idiots started on him and something awful happened.

CheshireCats · 17/06/2022 22:06

He can wait for his Dad. He is safe. He will hopefully learn from this.

mrsfoof · 17/06/2022 22:07

At 16 I'm afraid I'd tell him to sit in the garden until his DF comes home. It's not cold and he can wee behind a bush if needed. It'll teach him a lesson to be more thoughtful next time.

Original poster
monsterastuckiosa · 17/06/2022 22:07

@TooHotTooGreedy he can get into the building, just not into the apartment. The neighbours are lovely, too, so I'm not worried about his safety – UNLESS he in fact hasn't gone home, in which case I wouldn't know where to find him even if I did go down.

OP posts:
Svara · 17/06/2022 22:08

How long would take him to walk to his dad to get keys? It's really not that long, or he could just go for a walk to kill time? I have a 16 year old and he'd have to wait.

Ragwort · 17/06/2022 22:09

Can he walk back to where his Dad is working (theatre?) so at least he's somewhere safe and not roaming the streets?

Onceinawhileuser · 17/06/2022 22:09

I don't understand the dilemma at all. Why would you even consider driving for over an hour just to save him a short period of time waiting in a safe building for his dad to get home?

bloodywhitecat · 17/06/2022 22:09

He gets to wait for his dad, it's a lesson in life that almost all of us learn at some point in our lives.

Svara · 17/06/2022 22:14

Realised you don't even know if he's waiting at home, no chance I would go in that case! DS would have already gone for a walk, either to get keys or kill time in that situation.

Original poster
monsterastuckiosa · 17/06/2022 22:16

@Svara It would have been 10 minutes' walk to his dad to get keys if he'd gone from the bus stop when he first realised. If he's gone home first (to try and get in through a window and avoid his dad finding out 😊), that's another 15 minutes on top.

@Ragwort he could, if he thought of it – because he's not got his phone with him we're not in communication, so we can only hope!

@Onceinawhileuser I think it's just the what-iffery – I've been leaning towards 'no' but I know his dad is worried (he's a worrier) and it can be contagious!

OP posts:
TitoMojito · 17/06/2022 22:19

I think if he can sit inside the building, then that's fine. If he’s worried, he can always see if one of the neighbours will take him in until his dad gets home. Annoying that he doesn't have his phone though.

Svara · 17/06/2022 22:20

So he could get to his dad if he wanted in just 25 minutes when you are a 35 minute drive away. Makes no sense to drive over in that case, especially not knowing if he is even there!

HollowTalk · 17/06/2022 22:22

The more people run around after him the longer it will take him to become an adult.

Original poster
monsterastuckiosa · 17/06/2022 22:27

Success!

Just got a message from him on DP's phone to say he walked to his dad's work and he's fine.

I felt there was a good chance he'd feel too embarrassed to go and 'face the music' so I'm glad he did the right thing (and VERY glad I'm not on the motorway right now!)

OP posts:
DirtyteaCup · 17/06/2022 22:38

Is he your DSS?

Sound like your boyfriends son?

Purpleheadgirl · 17/06/2022 22:39

Get a keysafe so next time he can get in. Can get ones that hook onto things like a lock design if don't want to screw one into a wall

bumpytrumpy · 17/06/2022 22:41

monsterastuckiosa · 17/06/2022 22:27

Success!

Just got a message from him on DP's phone to say he walked to his dad's work and he's fine.

I felt there was a good chance he'd feel too embarrassed to go and 'face the music' so I'm glad he did the right thing (and VERY glad I'm not on the motorway right now!)

Good

This is really basic life shit he needs to learn to deal with. Don't rush to rescue him... not your job and actually he's better working it out for himself

Original poster
monsterastuckiosa · 17/06/2022 22:44

DirtyteaCup · 17/06/2022 22:38

Is he your DSS?

Sound like your boyfriends son?

@DirtyteaCup I don't understand your question (or its relevance, to be honest, but maybe that'll emerge with explanation). What are you asking?

@Purpleheadgirl I think at the very least a spare key with a neighbour would be smart, but yes, a keysafe could be good!

OP posts:
Lykia · 17/06/2022 22:44

Purpleheadgirl · 17/06/2022 22:39

Get a keysafe so next time he can get in. Can get ones that hook onto things like a lock design if don't want to screw one into a wall

👆👆

key safe Air B n Bs use them all the time. We have one and a lot of our neighbours have them too.

Mellowyellow222 · 17/06/2022 22:49

I was also going to ask this!!

I was confused as to why OP doesn’t live with the dad, if this child is her step son

Mellowyellow222 · 17/06/2022 22:50

monsterastuckiosa · 17/06/2022 22:44

@DirtyteaCup I don't understand your question (or its relevance, to be honest, but maybe that'll emerge with explanation). What are you asking?

@Purpleheadgirl I think at the very least a spare key with a neighbour would be smart, but yes, a keysafe could be good!

Show quote history

It’s just trying to understand I think.

I got confused, as he is your step son of you are married to his father.

but your post said you lived 35 minutes away, so where is his dads flat and is it your second home or his mums house?