Workaholic and phone addiction

[Legsbefriends]

That’s me. I just work all the bloody time (wfh senior role corporate environment) and/or spend mind-numbing hours scrolling through rubbish on my phone.

I have let work take over my life. I have no balance.

We live abroad and there’s no other work opportunities here so I can’t leave. And I’m the main breadwinner. And moreover I enjoy my job. I just seem to not be able to do anything else.

What little free time I have, I seem to spend on my phone. I can spend hours looking at clothes I’ll never buy, household items I don’t need, MN, FB, insta, shit games.

My sleep is all over the place. I’m getting more and more overweight.

I’m in such a rut and hate my crap habits.

Has anyone else been here? Have you managed to get out of it? I have all the right ingredients to have a lovely life but I seem to choose to spend my time working or on my phone and it’s some weird kind of inertia that stops me doing ANYTHING else.

I am similar and it takes some time, but schedule downtime into your work calendar each day.
Turn off your phone for 10 mins in the evening, and build this up to an hour/ two hours.
Aim for phone free Sunday.
It’s a real challenge, I say this as someone who got up at 6am to get some chores done and 50 min later sat on sofa scrolling through stuff.
Going cold turkey won’t work though- it is basically like any addiction it takes time.

I'm joining because this is me. My therapist identified it as a safety behaviour - the scrolling - so I do it even more! It's essentially my hobby which is just tragic.

I just don’t have the discipline to stop. I see colleagues finish work at 5pm and go for a run or swim and just don’t know how they do it.

I reach for my phone first thing and then rush everyone around because we’ll then be late.

Last night I could’ve finished work at 6pm when my last call ended. I then faffed around tinkering with presentations and looking up holidays and at 8pm ordered pizza because I had no idea what to cook for dinner and it was getting late. Kids had been on their tablets since after school.

It’s like unless I have to do something I just don’t.

@pastypirate talk to me about safety behaviour? What is this? I procrastinate a lot (as you can tell) and often think I do that because it’s easier than putting my brain into gear and engaging in the real world. I think I hide behind work and my phone to avoid doing other stuff that takes more effort.

But I can’t continue, I feel I’m heading for burnout. Really desperately need more in my life than work or my phone.

I'm diagnosed Witt anxiety. My cbt therapist identified the scrolling as safety behaviour - as in something I do when I get overwhelmed. It's true for me

I've had 2 burn outs at work -you're not wrong about that

Sorry to hear that pirate. I think I do it when I get overwhelmed. It’s total escapism/denial/ignorance.

I also really relate to struggling with dinners. I used to be a strict neal planner. That's gone to shit

I’m the same. For me, my counsellor said I’m avoidant (which is true) and it helps me avoid everything, including dealing with my unhappy relationship. I hate it though. I used to enjoy things like swimming, crafting etc but just don’t do them now. Phones are addictive, most apps or games are designed to be that way. Could you maybe speak to a counsellor about it? Or I think the PP suggestion of putting it down for five minutes to do something, and then gradually building up the length of time is a good one and I might try it myself.

I've noticed mine creeping up now to the point I'm letting the kids get sone from dinner before I've finished eating so I can scroll.

For me it's about struggling to switch off. I can't fall asleep without the tv on I'm scared of my own thoughts

I think I will start with phone banned time slots. I even noticed kourtney Kardashian say she won't look at her phone until the kids have been dropped at school. I thought that's a start!!

If you're working from home on the computer could you do a pretend commute? I leave the house at 8, as if I were going to work but I walk round the park for 30 mins before going back to the home office. So I get 30 mins of fresh air and screen free time before a day at the computer.

In the evening, the most reliable thing I do is have a regular run booked in with someone else - I go because I have made a commitment to go with them - I wouldn't bother if it was just me. It doesn't have to be a run but are there any activities you would like to do that you could do with a friend? If it goes in my calendar, I do it, just like I would a work meeting.

It is easier now my DD is old enough to be left to her own devices (literally).

Oh - and I use time limits on my phone - no more than 45 mins on TikTok and everything shuts off at 11pm.

@ManyManyBiscuits this us what we did when school was shut in lockdown - really helped to start the day with a break between home/work. I probably need to do this again. Some days I do go to the office too (we are flex/hybrid) but it’s a bit sporadic. The lack of set pattern isn’t great for me. As much as I used to resent my London commute, it forced me to have a very strict routine in order to catch certain trains to/from work. So it forced the discipline!

What is this lack of discipline all about??