Feeling like the worst mother in the world

[Cjbx]

The worse thing has literally just happened to me I can’t cope. Currently laid awake because I feel so guilty and riddled with anxiety. I’m staying at my mums while my husband is away (he’s military) as we’ve just moved back from an overseas posting. My mum lives on the top of a steep hill road.

I’ve been for a walk today with the baby in the pram in the nice weather and then we walked back home. I got back to my mums house right on the top of the hill, walked onto the drive, pressed the break on the pram and then went into the porch to unlock the door. After I unlocked the door I turned around and the pram was rolling off the drive with force.

When I say I have never ran so fast in my life I literally flew like Michael Jordon. By the time I caught the pram he was half
way down the hill and about 3 seconds off smashing into a parked up corsa. I’m absolutely distraught honestly either I didn’t press the brake down properly or the brake failed, I feel like the worst mother in the world I can’t stop crying.

He is 3 months old and so is still in the first attachment of his pram which as we know has no straps or seat belts. I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if he’d have got all the way to the bottom but I can’t stop with the horrible thoughts in my head it’s really upset me and I feel like it’s all my fault. Of course I will make sure it never happens again as it’s really startled me and broke my heart to think how bad it could have been but I just can’t stop thinking about it.

It was honestly like something off a film and I’m so upset I’m supposed to be his protector. I know I need to get over it, he’s absolutely fine had no idea what was going on in fact when I caught the pram just in time he was giggling. But as soon as I walked through the front door with him I just picked him up and cried and cried.

Has this ever happened to anyone else because it’s genuinely broken my heart and I haven’t stopped thinking about it my poor innocent little baby boy how could I possibly fail him like this 😞

You poor thing. You have failed no one. This was an accident and everything is fine. Your baby is perfectly fine. You have had the mother of all frights, that's for certain, and that's why you're feeling like such a car crash emotionally. It will take a good bit to settle from this, so please just forgive yourself and let go of any guilt.

Oh love, you're not the worst mother in the world at all. You caught up to him, he's safe. Give yourself a bit of time for the shock and guilt to wear off, that's a horrible thing that could've happened BUT it didn't. You did protect him, you stopped anything happening. WELL DONE.

It's hard to not think of 'what could've happened' but it didn't. Your bubba is safe and sound with you and this will only serve to make you stronger and even more determined to protect him.

Be good to yourself, he's ok xx

I think lots of us have had a scary moment with a buggy brake, I know I have. I now always give the buggy a push forward once I have engaged the brake to make sure it has engaged properly. I think you need to be a bit kinder to yourself, your baby is ok. There is no point in beating yourself up over it, learn from it and move forward.

Oh love you ran as fast as you could and you caught it and he is fine please don't beat yourself up about it . He has come to no harm . To make you feel better my baby was in a walker outside when we were gardening and he went down the only step on the patio it tipped up and he fell flat on his face , I didn't get there in time , you did . Please don't upset yourself .

I'm so sorry this happened to you. You are not a bad mother at all and you didn't fail him. But you had a bad moment. Motherhood is full of them. Don't be hard on yourself.

Yes it happened to me. My two youngest in a double stroller, didn't do the brakes right and they rolled off down my path and it actually turned over on its side. I screamed. Awful but everyone was fine.

Also when my dd1 was about 2 months I had her in a sling my sister sent me (proper good sling - baby bjorn). She slipped out the side and I caught her. If I hadn't she'd have smashed on the concrete floor below. I still sweat about that a bit if I think of it and she is 22.

As an aside are there really no straps in the pram for a 3 month old. Mine were always belted in (but it has been a while for me).

mind yourself OP. everything was fine. your son is fine. Take a deep breath.

Your baby is fine.

You were alert and responded incredibly quickly to the situation. You kept your baby safe because of your quick action.

Sometimes accidents happen or things don't go to plan without it being anyone's fault.

You had a shock but everything really is fine and your little baby is safe and well.

It's a horrible feeling and you will feel unsettled especially as you're probably stressed with the move and your husband away. Try not to dwell on it.

I once got my son out of the pushchair over a park, he couldn't walk unaided but could stand rather wobbly if he held on your the pushchair.

I unpacked the picnic bag, laid the blanket down and he was gone. No longer standing there.

He had rolled down a slope and a good 100ft away and was unharmed!

I completely get how you feel. When DD was a baby had her in the bouncer at the bottom of the stairs (but to one side) as I was hoovering. The hoover fell down the stairs and it's still one of those horrifying memories. But she is almost a grown up now and we both survived
Sleep deprivation is a horrible horrible thing.