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Original poster

Wtf is a "fuddle"

91 replies

AdalbertWafflin · 16/06/2022 22:21

Exactly as the title says...
I started a new job Monday, and tomorrow there is an office "fuddle" to celebrate their end of year figures (yeah.. slightly random year end 🤷‍♀️). I'm extremely introverted and socially awkward at the best of times, don't make friends easily and small talk with people I don't really know is my idea of hell. Also, do I need to take anything? I have honestly no how to be a normal person in these situation. North Yorkshire border, in case it is a regional thing?

OP posts:
WeAreTheHeroes · 16/06/2022 23:12

I got to my late 30s before I heard of a Jacob's Join and my 40s for a fuddle. The context made it easy to understand what both were.

NancyDrooo · 16/06/2022 23:16

Reallyreallyborednow · 16/06/2022 22:54

At our work they’re really informal.

dump your quiche/crisps/sausage rolls/elaborate home made cake/bottle of coke or whatever on the communal table.

at some point someone gets hungry and people start wandering over and helping themselves. Some stand and chat, some take a plate back to their desk, some go elsewhere to eat. Some cheeky fuckers from the department downstairs pop by and help themselves before disappearing with several platefuls for their colleagues.

spend 3 weeks never finding the plate you brought your cake on.

honestly it’s not that bad at all. It’s a fairly good conversation starter- i hate quiche/love cake/did you make this etc…

Sums it up perfectly!

I’ve always known them as fuddles (food/huddle) since I first worked in an office 25 years ago. Yorkshire. I quite miss a good fuddle😋

NashvilleQueen · 16/06/2022 23:17

Only ever heard of it in Yorkshire

Alopeciabop · 16/06/2022 23:17

only ever heard it as a way of asking for sexy time… as in do you want a fuddle (fuck cuddle I guess?!) haa

Lucienandjean · 16/06/2022 23:19

I used to work in a school in Yorkshire where they had a fuddle for everyone's birthday...except mine. I had three birthdays during my time there, but every single one went unmarked. No idea why.

Perhaps they were punishing me for having to ask what a fuddle was (soft Southerner that I am) when the first one rolled round.

Byebyecobwebs · 16/06/2022 23:19

It’s a bring and share where I’m from, or a bottle and plate (with food), although I’ve known a few turn up with a bottle and an empty plate. Never heard of a fuddle before.

calmlakes · 16/06/2022 23:20

We had them in Yorkshire.
They are fine and get better as know more people.

Sniffypete · 16/06/2022 23:28

I thought fuddle was a mix of fucking muddle.

AutumnIsHere21 · 16/06/2022 23:31

It’s definitely a regional thing. Not a ‘thing’ down south but they bloody love a fuddle up here in Derbyshire!

madamy · 16/06/2022 23:33

Yep, fuddles here in Notts too! I work in the NHS, they were frowned on during covid and its bloody great to have them again!

Okaaaay · 16/06/2022 23:42

Yep it’s pot luck al la Yorkshire. Take crisps or chocolate bite things or something easy, go for 10 mins. Have a couple of stock remarks / questions ready. Then escape quietly. People don’t remember if you leave early - they do remember if you never show up. Good luck

Fayekrista · 16/06/2022 23:43

I thought it sounded like a cross between a cuddle & a fondle 🤣🤣 definitely don't do that at work! Lol

Spyderwillies · 16/06/2022 23:46

An old boss of mine used to say it was a fuck and a cuddle 😂

ilovesooty · 16/06/2022 23:46

It's just bring some food to share. No big deal.

SirenSays · 16/06/2022 23:48

Glad someone else didn't know!
Everyone acted like I was a complete donkey for asking what this was when I got told one day to bring food for the Friday fuddle.
Awful forced mingling in a tiny staff room that smells like onions. No thanks! I used to escape to the delivery bay until it was over.

wizzler · 17/06/2022 09:51

Best thing about our fuddles was that one of the team turned out to be an amazing baker. We always had a if fuddle for xmas and our boss always tried to ensure that the big boss didn't know it was happening!

JellyBellyNelly · 17/06/2022 09:59

i think it’s an abbreviation on the Arabic word ‘tafuddle’ which is generally used when someone is inviting you to eat. So, a host or hostess woukd hold out there arm and invite you to sit or start eating by saying ‘tafuddle’. Over the years though I have heard it abbreviated to fuddle pronounced Fudthle

JellyBellyNelly · 17/06/2022 10:02

Sorry, just to add that expats in the community are usually very happy to be invited into someone’s home to a ‘fudthle’ as it’s what’s considered traditional Arab hospitality.

DaisyDozyDee · 17/06/2022 10:03

Isn’t language strange? I’d have been befuddled by an invitation to a fuddle.

CuriousMama · 17/06/2022 10:10

AdalbertWafflin · 16/06/2022 22:39

Because I've had all the therapy the NHS will provide and they deem it nothing more than mild social anxiety so don't want to help any more. It didn't work anyway and I can't afford to throw money at therapy that also might be unsuccessful.
How do I manage more important questions? I dont. I'm pushing 40 and it has taken me this long to get a "proper job". The consequence of not asking a serious question has to be more horrific than the thought of me asking the serious question, or I can't. But I think we've got derailed from the fiddle now 😂

Show quote history

Don't fiddle at the fuddle 😂

I hope you can improve. My Ds2 was terribly shy. He's joined the navy now and is much more confident. It's an awful way to live.
I'm the total opposite and used to wish I could share some of my confidence.

What was your upbringing like? Have you ever tried pretending you're someone else and 'acting'?

PAFMO · 17/06/2022 10:12

Nottinghamshire - it doesn't have to be lunch, or a buffet, or people bringing something.
It could be any/all of those, or a buffet get together in the workplace or private home provided by workplace/host.

viques · 17/06/2022 10:41

shrunkenhead · 16/06/2022 22:39

If I were you I'd make a couple of quiches, one meat - ham, cheese and tomato and one veggie - goats'cheese and asparagus. That should do the trick.

Far too much. A couple of nets of tangerines/ clementines . Easy to carry, not ostentatious. Always get eaten.

SatinHeart · 17/06/2022 11:36

skinnythick · 16/06/2022 22:37

I wouldn’t be ‘slinking off’ at the first week in my new job no

Agreed! Never heard of a fuddle, but in the first week of a new job I really do think you need to participate in whatever things are happening in your new workplace, or it's going to give a bad impression.

Sounds like the safe option is some non perishable food items in your bag - if MN are right then contribute the food, if it turns out the fuddle is something else, just keep it in your bag and take it home.

ShadowoftheFall · 17/06/2022 11:43

Oh that sounds awful. Lived all over, always avoided anything like that, never heard of a fuddle.

Jalisco · 17/06/2022 11:47

One of Covid's greatest blessings was stopping the bloody office fuddles - an opportunity to be sociable and spend my lunchtime with people I can't abide and would NEVER choose to socialise or go for a meal with. Thank God I now have a new job and they don't do fuddles. Perversely though, I do actually like the people I work with now. But that is what brunch or tea dates are for!