Anyone awake?

[MsOllie]

My mum died at 11.45 and I can't sleep
Feels very odd to be sat here alone with a bereavement booklet. Can't face watching TV but I can't get to sleep

I’m so sorry. Would you like to tell us about her? ❤️

I second that! Can't sleep here, speak about anything on your mind. We're here and ready to listen 💗

I am so sorry for your loss. Do you have anyone else in the house with you? X

I'm awake. I'm so sorry about your loss. It a very surreal thing when your mum goes. Do you have people you can be with in the morning?

I'm awake too, although heading to bed soon. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. If you'd like to tell us about your Mum, I'd love to hear about her, or anything else you want to talk about. Whatever would help most

I am here. Awake feeding a baby. So sorry for your loss. Would love to hear about your mum if you feel up to it.

I'm alone. Went to the hospital earlier with my dad in the afternoon as they called to say come and see her
Dad didn't want to go back, he said he didn't feel she was there any more and he couldn't face seeing her I don't think
Something made me go back about 10.15pm and I sat with her and put some sleep stories on my phone. I told the nurse she didn't have long and she went with me sat next to her
Opened the window and put one of her favourite songs on and then called the nurse to say she had gone. The chaplain came and gave her a blessing too

I’m so sorry Op. I’m glad you were with her at the time, that would have been comforting for you both. ♥️

She was 72, diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's but the admission was for pneumonia. It was a blessing really as the Alzheimer's had progressed pretty far. We told the hospital no interventions so she just had the end of life drugs and some oxygen and it was very peaceful

She was a nurse then ward sister, and clinical teacher in paediatric burns and plastic surgery, working at a children's hospital then ran pubs later in her life with my dad
We had a massive fall out in 2013 and it's been tricky since then, the relationship was tense and I hadn't been to see her in the past year

I think I'm petrified as well. My Nan had dementia, my mum, my dads sister, there's just such a strong family history of it
And I feel young to have lost my mum even though I'm 38, it doesn't feel old enough?

Couldn't find the story I wanted to put on for her so I put alexander skarsgård the lighthouse on as he has a soothing voice she would appreciate!
The nurse said she didn't think she was close and she was surprised when I came out to say. I didn't call them straight away, just sat with her for a minute as I remembered someone posting on here a podcast about just "being" and there was no rush

She sounded like a wonderful woman 💗 are you close with your dad? Could you perhaps lean on each other to get through these early stages of grief?

Also - you can't let yourself worry about future problems, I know everything seems so sudden and of course you're going to be thinking about the possibility of one day having dementia. However, in my opinion we should all try to remind ourselves that we're only here once and we have to try live life to the fullest.

It's okay to not be okay right now

Close enough but.. affection/emotions aren't really a thing in my family. I've never seen my dad cry until today
As a family we have never hugged or said I love you or anything like that

I am so sorry to hear your devastating news.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Please get some rest. It was really amazing you went to see her an hour before and put her favourite song on etc she must have been at peace. God bless x

Sorry for your loss. Your Mum sounds like she lives a very full life. Despite your differences I'm glad you were there at the end and hope that helps bring you peace.

I’m awake because my toddler is being an arse and has been up since 3.

I’m so sorry about your mum. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself 💖

I got some sleep eventually thank you
Idiot toothless cat is stalking me and demanding to sit on me at any opportunity