Help - Arachnophobia living in a spidery house!

[Oaktreelife]

Have any arachnaphobes here successfully lived in a spidery house? How do you banish them?

I'm not joking that my phobia is real - it's the worst of anyone I've ever met. Over the last few years I've only lived in new build flats in the 4th / 5th / 6th floors and thankfully spiders don't go there (who knew) so I lived a blissful existence. Now married with DC we have just moved to a house. I had a feeling spiders might be an issue but tried not to overthink and concentrate on all the benefits for my family of our new home... but OMG!! We are renting a Victorian property with a courtyard garden, and the garden is just FULL of them!

I don't understand why. Growing up my parents had a garden and I don't remember so many spiders and webs everywhere. Is it because it's a courtyard surrounded by other homes? We had a gardener come and jet wash it all and I put up fairy lights and a little table and chairs, but only 3 weeks later and the lights and chairs are covered in cobwebs 🤢🤢

There's an outdoor shed and I've not opened the door as I'm petrified! My DC are little and curious and I'm trying so hard not to pass in my phobia but am sure they'll pick it up.

The worst thing is I saw two MASSIVE black spiders horrible things in the sash windows today (outside) and I know that come September they'll be coming indoors.

I know I sound crazy but anyone should has arachnophobia should understand. I'm yearning for our old high up new build home!

Is there anything I can do to scare them off? Why are there so many? How can we deter them? Has anyone successfully done this?

(Ps I know curing my phobia would be best but I've no idea how you do that).

Oh thank you so much for not telling me I'm crazy. It's so much nicer hearing there are others with as big a fear as me! I too can't look at pictures of the horrid things! One of the reasons for posting on here is because as soon as you Google how to deter spiders it just throws up a load of horrible pictures!! 🙈

Re cat - I live cats but we can't currently have pets as we are renting.

With the London Zoo course I don't know what it entails but even the thought of it really scares me. I don't think I'd have the courage to attend.

I will try the peppermint oil and those sprays people have suggested. Fingers crossed they stay away!

In the future when we buy our next family home, are there things I can look for eg new builds? Do they really have less spiders or do all ground floor properties get them?

My gran swore by putting conkers out to scare away spiders but I don’t think there’s any true method of keeping them away!
I used to be terrified of spiders but I got over the fear through forced exposure…I wanted to stop seeing them as scary things to run from. Now I keep them as pets - tarantulas - and I actively go looking for them in the garden. It’s a challenge to get over the fear but it’s worth it. Now I see the wolf spiders in the garden and they’ve got their egg sacks right now. I can’t wait to see my first mama wolf spider carrying all her babies around.

Indorex is brilliant ( other flea sprays are not comparable). I spray it under my sofas and into all the holes around the skirtings in this wonky old house, and I am sure it makes a difference. My cats and dog aren’t remotely interested, whatever the size of the spider.

… I also have a dedicated old slipper to wallop any of the bastards that appear in the bath…

Can I second a phobia course, I went to the one at Bristol zoo and it really helped me.

I also find it helpful to have a spider catcher which makes catching and releasing them much easier. You can get them on amazon.

OP, please listen to what I am about to say.

You cannot escape your phobia by trying to avoid what you are afraid of. Every time you do anything to try and prevent an encounter with a spider - using deterrent sprays, putting conkers by windows, whatever - you are reinforcing your faulty neural pathways in your brain and actually increasing your phobia's hold on you. Every. Single. Time.

The only way out of this is with exposure therapy such as the zoo-based courses that PPs have suggested. I know it sounds scary but you will never be free of your fear until you face it.

The zoo based courses are tarantulas, right? No good for me. I hate big house spiders but absolutely fine handling a tarantula!

I'm in your position OP, bought our forever home last year which backs onto woodland. Moved in last May and holy jesus. The house hadn't been lived in for a year before and I was finding humongous spiders on a daily basis that I swear had come straight out of satanland. I told my husband we'd bought the wrong house and I could live there. A year on and I still look to the same spot on the doorframe in the utility room every time I go in expecting to see the huge one I discovered on day six.

But it's not all doom and gloom, I've got ever so slightly better in that I can now get some of the smaller ones under a glass, and as others say I leave the spindly ones as I appreciate their cannibalistic traits. I'm still not good with the thick body/ legged ones, or the false widows (we've found 2 since we moved in) but I think that's fair enough personally! Like you, I don't want my kids to see how terrified I am so am really trying. (plus to be honest it's exhausting feeling on high alert all the time at home).

As a pp mentioned as well I bought some sprays and couldn't believe that they come with huge pictures of spiders on... Whose great idea was that!? Hate to say as well but actually two of the biggest spiders I've ever seen came out of our last house, which was a new build. I really think it partly depends on where you live geographically.

I'm the same! I've always joked give me a money spider or a tarantula... Anything in between is a no go!

I used to have fairly extreme arachnophobia, and still will jump at a big house spider or a sudden picture of one; but these days I can tolerate them much better, and even get up close and catch and then get rid of one in a glass with a piece of paper or a spider catcher thing.

I found it got better after having my DD (maybe some “protect baby” tiger mother instinct or something!) but also the more you force yourself to do it, as a pp said, the easier it gets. I wouldn’t say I was cured or anything, but it’s a hell of a lot better. I’m even happy to let the spindly ones (pholcus spiders?) live indoors up on the ceiling, don’t mind them at all now.
Apparently targeted CBT can also help for phobias, too. You don’t have to just do an exposure course.

Oh and the big outdoor ones on the window frames don’t ever come indoors; they’re garden spiders.

With the London Zoo course I don't know what it entails but even the thought of it really scares me. I don't think I'd have the courage to attend.

The London Zoo spider friendly programme does NOT introduce you to ANY spiders until you have completed the treatment, and no one forces you to do any part of the course you are not happy about.
They tell you every step of the way what to expect, and you can stop at any time.
The most helpful part of the course does not involve seeing any spiders at all.

I agree that it will change your life in a way you cannot imagine right now.
It's like it switches off your phobia.

It takes more courage to continue the way you are for the rest of your life. I couldn't live with my phobia anymore. It was as simple as that, and returning home hoping I'd see a spider in my house was a wonderful feeling.

You can be free OP. You really can.

Arnt wolf 🐺 spider 🕸️ dangerous?

I moved to a new build from a converted old mill and the relief of no nooks and crannies for the spiders is real! I loved our old house for the history and the character but the spiders were always on my mind. We do get them in the new build but they are smaller and easy to spot as there are no wee holes. The odd huge ones I've seen have been in the garden but not yet come in the house. I'm sure we'll get them in at some point but it'll be few and far between.

Not the London zoo one - you go to the spider house and see all sorts in their normal enclosures, but the ones you look at/handle (in boxes unless you want to go for bare hands) and catch to 'pass' the course are all normal house spiders of varying sizes.

They did have Carol the tarantula there as well as a bonus though 😄

The Spider House documentary on the BBC gave me acceptance of them.

We can co-exist now. I am still close to having an episode if one runs over the bed and I spot it though.

They get to stay if they give me space. I’m quite fond of the buggers at a distance.

Indorex is your friend, spray it around windows outside and around skirtings and doors inside. I hate spiders, use this every year and never see a spider indoors.

😂. I can just imagine him sitting on the plug
"Thinking " fuck you and your plug in b*ch, I'm going nowhere.