Does anyone know they drink too much....but don't care? 🤷‍♀️

[PunchitBishop]

Hi,

Just wondering this. I'm not one of them. I do drink too much, but I do care. Typical 'middle class drinker' I suppose. Don't drink to get drunk. Just drink wine mostly, not every day, but definitely too much at the weekends. Certainly more than the RWA.

I go from really worrying about it and consider going teetotal, to thinking life's too short, it's my only real vice etc.

I've noticed a lot or my friends have split between two categories in recent years - pretty much don't drink at all anymore or drink way too much. I do have a friend who genuinely doesn't care and gets very irritated if people interfere with her lifestyle. Again, she doesn't get drunk, may have seen her tipsy a few times, but that's it. In a way, I kind of admire her for just saying, "no, I'm an adult and I love a few glasses of wine, leave me alone".

I know there are health risks, premature aging etc, which is why I'm often at war with myself, but I did wonder how common my friends attitude is now...so thought I'd come on here 🙂

Thanks.

Oh my I do most certainly! 50+ and wasn't a huge drinker in teens 30,40's and always got terrible hangovers m.

But wow recently I've been drinking at least 2 bottles of vodka a week!

No idea why ? I don't get hangovers, and have a great job which I do no problem. I don't drink wine , not weird on vodka just happy and relaxed

It's bizarre that I can drink like this now, I'm actually shocked writing this down .

Threads like this are a good example of why the term "alcoholic" isn't that useful. For those saying they can/do/did drink 1 - 2 bottles of wine daily but not an alcoholic....you might not have a physical dependence YET but your are 100% in dependent drinker territory. Part of my recovery was learning there's more than one type of dependence.

It's like smoking twenty fags a day but maintaining you're not a smoker

I do think life is too short! But I also don't drink, because I genuinely feel better if I don't.

My diet is so so though. If anyone started interfering with what I ate, I'd be miffed. I wouldn't interfere with anyone else's habits unless it was directly affecting me - eg if I lived with a heavy drinker and I found them boring / aggressive / unpleasant company when they drank and had hangovers. My mum was an alcoholic bless her and she was very hard to live with as a result. But generally, what people drink is not my business unless they're a mess and I have to deal with it or they're invading my space. But the alcohol on its own and its effects on health of another educated adult, aren't really my business.

Yes, my husband unfortunately.

@onmywaytooblivion - the lack of hangovers isn't a good sign I'm afraid, it means your tolerance is building.

She clearly said she cares.

@MsTSwift

Does your friend's family know you go on social media and imply your friend caused her own death from a particularly hideous form of cancer because 'she liked her white wine?'. Please do tell them.

What a horrendous thing to say.

My mum died of Oesophageal cancer. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

She loved a snowball at Christmas. Nothing else ever.

I think it’s more helpful not to blur terminology. Alcohol dependency should refer to a very specific set of criteria to define a physical and psychiatric illness. Alcohol misuse is a much better way of describing relationships with alcohol which are less than healthy - which can include drinking to excess; but can also include things like drinking when you are stressed or sad, drinking to fit in, or drinking to fill a void - which may not necessarily include drinking large amounts on a regular basis.

Frankly I think that somebody who enjoys drinking several glasses of wine / several beers / cocktails / whatever a few times a week with their partner over dinner or whilst having an enjoyable and fun time talking and laughing with friends has a much healthier relationship with alcohol than somebody who turns to a couple of drinks when e.g. they’ve had a hard day, or when the kids are in bed and they’re feeling lonely and sad, or because they’d just rather not face their emotions. It’s a well-worn trope: think of how many movies, tv series and books there are where the protagonist has a hard day at work, or a relationship breakdown, or an argument with a partner or friend, or is lamenting being single and lonely, and turns to the booze to placate themselves. That’s a deeply unhealthy relationship with alcohol being modelled right there, one which we need to eradicate from popular media in the same way we’ve made smoking unacceptable; and I think that often we gloss over that and focus instead on how many units somebody drinks rather than why they drink and what role alcohol plays in their life.

The commonality most alcoholics have is that they are not happy and are drowning some riots. That’s very clear from any story I’ve ever heard about or from somebody with a current or previous actual alcohol dependency. And I don’t think it’s useful to focus on the amount somebody drinks rather than their broader relationship with alcohol.

Does your friend's family know you go on social media and imply your friend caused her own death from a particularly hideous form of cancer because 'she liked her white wine?'. Please do tell them.

What a horrendous thing to say.

My mum died of Oesophageal cancer. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

She loved a snowball at Christmas. Nothing else ever.

Absolutely this.