15 yo DD and friends - feel so helpless

[Bookridden]

15 yo DD is really upset about a friendship breakdown. She has been friends for years with Girl A and Girl B and they went around as a threesome. B recently began ignoring DD and being offish with her. DD is shy and unassertive, and didn't feel able to speak up about it. Last week, Girl A also said to DD that she didn't want to be friends anymore. She has since apologised, but DD feels totally betrayed and left out. She spends breaks and lunchtimes alone. DD refuses to talk to a teacher, talk to Girls A and B, or ask other groups if she can join them. She won't allow me to do so either. I hate to witness what this is doing to DD, but I feel completely helpless. Any thoughts?

This sounds exactly like a friendship I had at high school, there were 3 of us and very often 2 would freeze out the other one - this was often me but not always. I wouldn't say I was quiet and reserved like your DD but I was very anxious to please and cared a lot about what people thought.

With us the situation usually resolved itself after a few days, or a couple of weeks tops. Until the next time of course!

I think the main thing your DD needs to think about is whether she wants to remain friends with them. I wish I'd cut my two out of my life earlier because it was a lot of drama for 5-6 years that I could have done without really. I eventually found a good group of friends and life got easier - maybe this will slowly happen for your DD. Totally understand that she doesn't want to talk to anyone about it or get you involved, that would have made the situation even worse for me - I spent a lot of time alone when my 2 "friends" ditched me for that reason. Teenage logic and all that. Just trust that in time she will find new friends, if not here then at sixth form.

It must be hard for you to stand by though, totally get that 💐just be available if she does want to get stuff off her chest, that's the best you can do. Hope everything works out for you!

I realise this post is years and years old and you may not even still be active on here but how did things pan out for your daughter ? I'm.in a similar boat now @Bookridden x

Twos Company, Threes a crowd.