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Im so angry

12 replies

FkingFuming · 14/06/2022 16:25

I’m fuming..Husband and I don’t have a good relationship- long story but we don’t. I said I’ll book an appointment for him and have been asking for date/time. Not much helpful response. In the car asked for an update and I said I’m doing this as a favour to you you need to come half way and tell me when it’s good as I cannot guess what your work calendar looks like. He got all worked up about the word favour and carried on ranting. Maybe it was a wrong choice of word? But as I said our relationship is not good and i’ve lost sensitivity around these things. I picked a leaflet which was in the floor of the car and dropped it into the bit where the drinks go. He picked it up and slapped my hand with it while ranting. I told him never to do that again when he just carried in about how I’m making him do this stuff because if my ego.
whatever it is I’m not putting up with getting hit. Whether it’s my ego or not. Got back home snd I need to get on with my work but I cannot concentrate as I’m fuming. I don’t have and friends or family to share this. I just want to vent so typing it up here. Obviously name changed for this..

OP posts:
iCorvidae · 14/06/2022 16:27

Ask yourself why you are with him when you are not happy?

This is not an isolated incident, or you wouldnt be posting.

Have you considered, just getting out?

Elieza · 14/06/2022 16:44

Sounds like he’s sensitive about whatever it is the appointment is about. I’m wondering if it’s a GP appointment?

is he unable to keep an erection or going bald or something that he kinda expects difficult news about so he doesn’t really want the appointment? He may not feel like you are therefore doing him a favour as he doesn’t want to go!

I don’t think I could be bothered with his arseholery tbh. If he’s always like that it sounds like an uphill struggle. You deserve better.

FkingFuming · 14/06/2022 16:57

@iCorvidae for my daughter- she adores both of us and we are good parents to her. It’s just we are not working for each other.

I consider getting out on a daily basis but I’m 41 and feel I’ve already lost my life to this mess what am I going to gain by getting out? I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks as it is…

@Elieza it was for a fungal toe nail which I suggested he gets it seen. I don’t know if I deserve better as this whole thing had put me off any relationship but I would like to wake up one day and be my old self again…not the miserable unhappy anxious shell I’ve become…

OP posts:
Bunty55 · 14/06/2022 17:01

You say you are good parents but she sees and hears everything and this is not good at all.

iCorvidae · 14/06/2022 17:22

I know you think you are doing the right thing by staying with him for your dd, but if you are arguing and not happy, do you think that is the right example to set - stay in an unhappy relationship ?

I'm not saying LTB, but you are not happy....

iCorvidae · 14/06/2022 17:23

and you're 41 ! thats not an age where you have to put up with it

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/06/2022 17:25

I am saying LTB. Do yourselves and your DC a massive favour and just split up. It’s sounds toxic and he deliberately hurt your hand which is properly fucked up.

Don't fall for the sunk costs fallacy. You could live another 40+ years, don’t do it like this.

Miracle101 · 14/06/2022 17:38

You will gain a lot from getting out. You are 41. Do you want to do another 45 years with him? Like this?

NerrSnerr · 14/06/2022 18:53

Let him sort his own toenail.

My parents hated each other and 'stayed together for the children'. It was shit. It came to a massive head when I was 18 and they couldn't live together anymore and it was awful with so much hostility.

Separate properly with the right legal advice etc. Don't put her through living in an unhappy house (children are not thick, she'll know you argue and are not happy however well you think you hide it)

Isaidnoalready · 14/06/2022 18:54

Let him deal with his own toe

Watchkeys · 14/06/2022 18:59

My parents stayed together for me, and didn't get on a lot of the time. The result was me thinking that adults have relationships that look like one person pissing the other off, and the pissed off person putting up with it. I had counselling in my early 40s, and finally, at 46, am in a healthy relationship.

If you'd like to avoid this for your daughter, demonstrate to her that when you're unhappy, you leave, and do something that does make you happy.

She will follow your example, either way.

Watchkeys · 14/06/2022 19:00

not the miserable unhappy anxious shell I’ve become

Do you genuinely think this is good for her to see as 'normal'?

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