On being a 50 year old female learner driver

[DoinMeDriving]

I am 50 and recently passed my driving test. Yay! Go me etc. However. Right from the point I started driving on 'real' roads (as opposed to turning corners on quiet estates) I have regularly encountered arsehole men driving badly around me to prove a point. Eg overtaking as I'm approaching a junction while signalling right, overtaking on a hill while I'm holding back for a cyclist etc. I knew from the start why they were doing it: it's because they can see I'm a grey haired woman with l-plates.

Even on my test two such incidents happened - one where I slowed to 24 to approach a roundabout in a 30 zone and had a merc speed round me and the other where I was waiting to turn right at a double line junction and a bloke drove up on the grass verge to my left while yelling on his mobile.

After the test me, the instructor and examiner were all chatting briefly and they both said I'd been really unlucky but handled the situations correctly so I said well thanks, but I don't think it was bad luck; it's just that I'm female, obviously older and have l-plates and as it is in life, so it is on the road. It was quite something, watching the penny drop for these two younger, perfectly nice, men. But they did agree with me.

So, score for that. Not only did I pass, but I did so as a feminist. In a way.

I know where you're coming from! I'm 52 don't drive and have no intention of learning! But good on you for passing test, you must have nerves of steel!

Thank you! I am very pleased with myself. And actually all those arseholes did me a favour because I am a really good driver - I've been having to make sensible decisions around others' poor road usage since I started lol.

To be fair, nobody can know for sure what was going on in the heads of those drivers - apart from
them. However, the most likely scenario is that they saw the L plates and decided the learner would delay them and that they wouldn’t be tolerating that.

but you will encounter monumentally shit driving all over the place very frequently and it will be from all sectors of society.

Well you, and congratulations.

There are plenty of arses out on the roads, and some of them do behave that way for the reasons you mention too.

I think also that there are people who see L plates on a car and then just think that they must push up behind and get past at all costs, often in the stupidest of places too. It is as if they see it as a direct challenge.

You will hopefully find things improve somewhat now that you no longer have to have the L plates on the car. Many people will treat you differently and you are not marked out as obviously inexperienced.

You'll still encounter twats though. They can't always be avoided. Lack of L plates is a different experience though.

True. But it was noticeable right from the start according to my instructor, to a greater extent than he'd had while teaching the teenagers and young adults he normally has in his car. At first he thought the same as they both said today, that I was unlucky to encounter a higher number of arseholes than his other pupils did. But then it kept happening, regardless of time of day/day of week. So yes part of it was the l-plates. But the rest was just generalised misogyny and atheism. I got a triple whammy.

Lol ageism, not atheism.

And I'm not feeling oppressed or whatever, just wryly observing really.

From what I hear, some younger women can have absolute crap with male driving instructors. God knows what type of sex pests can be attracted to that job, from what my DD and her friends and cousin experienced, and with different instructors.

I am just talking about my experiences on the road M8.

Am sure younger learners have their own obstacles to overcome. Different ones.

There are arsehole drivers everywhere. All you can do is drive yourself sensibly and not be harassed in to driving dangerously because of them.

i learnt to drive in my mid/late 20s and had exactly the same, people overtaking at the wrong time and thinking generally that I’d be hesitant about making manoeuvres so they could skip past me. That made me more nervous tbh.

Firstly, congratulations on passing your test! Secondly - be prepared to encounter all kinds of bad driving from all sexes and ages. Much as I’d love to say that it’s always men driving like a-holes it’s not, sadly.

I passed my test recently and I'm 37 and encounter many arseholes on the road. Usually aggressive men. Do you have P plates by any chance? I think this can make people more aggressive and impatient towards you. I didn't bother with them.

It definitely made me more nervous to start with which given that at age 50 and never having driven previous I was already terrified was, yes, a problem. A couple of months in though I just sort of got to expect it, also I saw it for the pathetic behaviour it is and I do think it's made me a better driver in the long run.

I’m about your age and just came back from the lesson. On my way I have encountered average amount of arseholes whereas yesterday I went the same way to the shop with DH (he was driving) and there were A LOT of them. It was like rain of arseholes basically so I’m not sure about ageism or sexism. DH does have more grey hair then me but I don’t think it’s so noticeable from the road.
Huge congratulations on passing your driving test!

I’m 52 and learning. Not sure if age comes into it when dickheads overtake on junctions because they can’t see my age as they approach from behind.

A few weeks ago I was sat waiting at temporary traffic lights, I was at the front of the queue and the male driver behind me clearly thought I’d be slow to move off when they eventually changed so overtook me and went through while they were still on red.

I don't have P plates no.

And I appreciate that arseholes come in all shapes and sizes but I do think it's worth noting that my instructor commented many times that I encountered more arsehole behaviour than his other pupils and that both him and the examiner noted that I encountered more arsehole behaviour than they'd expect during the test, and that both of them are men, so it's really not just my own skewed personal experience. Sometimes, you know, it's ok to say the world isn't a great big onion.

Do you still have L plates on? You need to swap for the green P plates. Then take off completely. You sound confident. I would ditch them all together. You might notice a difference.

Take off your plates and see if that helps. I’m older than you and get a-hole behaviour from a range of drivers - it’s nothing to do with onions, everything to do with reality. You may very well have experienced more a-holery because of your age, it’s impossible to say for certain, but if that’s been your experience then I do sympathise and you’ve done so well to pass in the face of that

@Arenanewbie and @MadisonAvenue good job both of you. Hope you both pass and get driving soon. @MadisonAvenue I've encountered exactly that before! Dunno what they expect us to do, like.

Nah don’t use P plates, people use it as an excuse to be aeseholes cos they think you’ll be hesitant and slow

I think the attitude is always the same if certain male drivers see female/ careful/ speed limit obeying/ drivers often in certain types of smaller cars. The thing is they often cut you up to race ahead and end up stopped in traffic not much further forward anyhow so I always wonder if they ever reflect afterwards and feel silly that the dangerous chance they just took really wasn't worth it.

Congratulations 👏 on passing your test .
I know we're your coming from . I do drive , and have been for 30 years . I took both my DC out as learners.
I sometimes drove there cars with L plates on ( I know they should of been taken off ) but when some drivers saw the L plates , saw me a more mature lady , it was open season for cutting me up , overtaking, tailgating .
Very different to when I had no L plates on my own car .