17 months - when does it get easier?

[sarahb083]

I thought it would be getting easier by now! I have a 17 month old, my husband and I both work 4 days a week and watch her for a day each. To be honest, the day I watch her is by far the hardest day of my week. I find it so hard to keep her entertained and she won’t play on her own. My husband does compressed hours so I do all mornings and evenings. She’s still waking once at night - I know we should sleep train again but I’m just too tired to bother and I hate hearing her cry at night. Between keeping the house clean, cooking meals for all of us, food shops, etc, I’m just exhausted. So when does it get easier!?

Hopeful bump

I found it got easier progressively as mine got older. Definitely identify with you saying your day with her is your hardest day of the week! Mine was 17 months in summer 2020 and god, that one day with him was exhausting - nothing to do, no-one to hang out with, just endless small toddler to watch and entertain.

My best advice would be to go out. I used to get everything ready the night before, get out around 9am, go for a walk with the buggy and let him run around in a safe park, playground, churchyard, village green, wherever I fancied being. Reins if we were near water. Quick trip to the shops, early lunch (either packed or cafe) and then in the car and home for long enough that he'd fall asleep. Transfer to the cot or contact nap if he wouldn't go down. Cross fingers for a decent nap. Then you only have the rest of the afternoon to fill - play in the garden, go for a walk at home, watch some TV, get the pens/play doh/den out. It's worse in winter when it's dark so early.

It gets easier when they stop putting everything in their mouth (shouldn't be too long) and when you can leave them for two minutes without them finding the most dangerous thing in the room. Mine was obsessed with the TV wires at that age. Definite improvement by 2, and around 2.5 I started really enjoying my day with him rather than enduring it. Still hard work especially as he stopped napping, but he was more fun to be around as he could communicate so much more.

Is she walking and talking yet? It will be easier then.

Thank you @TulipsGarden - that is so helpful. She is still putting everything in her mouth and I'm constantly worried she'll choke. We had a morning out yesterday and it did make things much easier and the day went by more quickly. I think I need to find some activities to entertain her - I gave her a pot and wooden spoon last week and that worked for about 15 minutes :😂

@MolliciousIntent I actually find it harder now she's walking - she's fast and I'm constantly chasing her around! Though the talking is making it easier, as I know what she wants.

Mine’s 18 months. We go out at 9ish in the pram. Sometimes visit the park and then go food shopping. Back about 10:30. CBeebies on in the kitchen. Snack and she ‘helps’ me unpack the shopping and load the dishwasher. 11:15 ish upstairs, look at some books, then in the cot for a nap. I potter upstairs making beds etc and she’s usually asleep by 11:45. Then I have a break, catch up on emails, lunch and watch some tv. She’s up again between 1:15 and 1:30pm. I give her some lunch and crashes about in a huge box of toys while I clean the kitchen/ hoover downstairs. 3 pm we go out again for school run so you could substitute that with park or garden. 4pm snack and she plays in the garden for an hour supervised on her slide and swing. 5 pm is tea, and she’ll spend a good half hour picking at veg etc. Back in garden for a run around. 6 pm bath, pyjamas and watching in the night garden. 7 pm look at a book for a bit, then into cot for bed. Two mornings a week we do playgroups. It is all a bit relentless and I remember feeling quite trapped and exhausted by it all with my first. She was a bit less inclined to play so I used to walk miles and take lunch with me rather than be in the house.

Four and above is easy.

Mine are 15 and nearly 18 now but I just found it got easier the older they got.

The hardest bit for me was having a baby and toddler

For me it got easier about 2.5.
With 17months deffo getting out is key. Do you know anyone with similar aged little ones to get out with? Swimming is a great one, I always found it tired them out well and lifted my mood a bit.

Also headphones and a good audiobook are sometimes needed!

You sound like you are doing the lion's share of the house work etc, is there things you could do to lighten your load a bit?

Try to incorporate things you will look forward to in your day together, could be as simple as having a lunch you really like in, or making yourself a really nice drink in a travel cup for the park. I know it's really hard but don't loose sight of yourself and your wellbeing.