Has anyone any experience of at home rehab?

[72hours]

We have reached the point of DH needs rehab for alcoholism. It really is overdue. He starts drinking as soon as he wakes. Shakes when he hasn't drunk for an hour or two. Unexplained cuts, bruises, injuries. No self-care, showering, etc. Currently attends two AA groups per week. Cannot work and is signed off.

We cannot afford inpatient rehab and nothing moves fast in the NHS so we have opted for at-home rehab. He has a support worker, has gone through the assessment with the Dr, been approved and the drugs will be delivered next week. I have taken three days off to support for the first 72 hours as requested by the program. He is at risk of seizures. Medication every two hours.

I know it isn't going to be easy.

Please can anyone tell me their experiences, from either carer or rehab side so I can at least prepare a little for what's coming?

I can't help I'm afraid but there must surely be local support groups for friends and family that can help?

I havent heard of home rehab, but have worked on a rehab ward. 2 hourly meds will be a struggle, do you know what they are, I only have experience of slowly reducing doses but nothing was 2 hourly. Will he need IV vitamins as well. What support have you got if he does have seizures, do they expect you to manage that. Who will look after him after 72hrs when you go back to work, I imagine you will feel exhausted and sleep deprived.

Has the doctor fully explained to both of you the complications of alcohol withdrawal, the symptoms he will experience, when to call for medical help, the effects of the medication,.keeping him fed and given fluids.

No idea what the meds are at this stage. The calls have been while I am at work, although the initial call I was sort of involved in halfway through where I was asked to take time off to support. I then got called away to deal with the DC.
I don't think there is local support? The guy offered to come down and stay local but it would then take the cost back up to inpatient levels (around 6K) The meds are coming from Birmingham. If he has seizures I call an ambulance and the centre to let them know. I have three days off, one day on then a week off. I have a good boss. I initially only had two days which the centre accepted but said wasn't ideal, but boss gave me the third day.
I mean, I just need to know what it's like really. I have been doing this all alone with no support for so long that I am desperate that this works. This life is exhausting, frustrating, relentless and soul-destroying. I want it for DH too. He is depressed, anxious and dying.

No advice to offer but thinking of you. Both parents were alcoholics, brother and sister drink dependant.
Its bloody tough. 😥

I have no expertise here but just wanted to wish you good luck & your DH. My only second thought was is 72 hours off enough.. I’d take as much as you can as I suspect you’ll be exhausted mentally aswell. One positive I did think to the home aspect is that he won’t have any ‘transition’ to make - like if you came out of a clinic then ‘had to keep it up at home’ sort of thing. I think if he can do it then it’ll be very likely he can stick to it. Good luck to you xxxx

can someone else look after the kids? Is he getting psychological support too?

I have been a ‘carer’ for my friend who went through an at-home detox to come off alcohol. She was off sick from work anyway, and I took a few days off just to be there for her in case she needed me. She took meds for a few days (it was a few years ago now, can’t remember what it was or how often) that she got from a local NHS service, and I basically was there checking if she was ok in case of a seizure or she fell or something. She felt bloody awful for a few days, she was shaking and feeling bad, but she got through it and only really needed me as a shoulder to cry on. She’s not touched the stuff since by the way and is doing great. I wish you both well and really hope it works for him

I didn't do a detox but I did outpatient rehab and the staff were absolutely excellent

Is this rehab via a substance misuse service?

Detox, not rehab. I changed what I was going to write half way through.

He has a psych call once a week through work. AA with a mate once a week and a second AA group meeting through CGL.

Noone to look after the kids. They are tens and very good tbf. Quite supportive.

The only thing is, and I know that this is gonna sound selfish....Everything is about supporting the alcoholic - and I get that, I get it is a disease - so I support him (he has his mate, his AA and psych for support), I support the kids, I go work FT, I do everything for the kids and the house - including texts in the am if I am on an early reminding x y and z - while he lies in bed and sends me youtube clips through whatsapp. I mean, yes, he is ill, and if anything gets him better then that's what we will do.... but where is MY support? He has lost his license so the stuff he did before even while signed off such as get little bits from the shops, the weekly groceries, things for the kids, that's all back on me now too. HE does do the occasional load of washing I guess and today he put the dishwasher on, but the majority of it is on me. Anyway, that's a vent and not my question so feel free to ignore this bit.

can't help with the rehab question, but I will say 2 AA meetings a week is not enough. There are 100's of zoom / skype meetings running everyday and he really needs to be doing as many as possible as they're in the best position to aid him with his recovery.

Good luck to you OP, I couldn't do it. So I wish you all the luck in the world, it sounds like it will be tough but you sound like you have a plan and a way through.

You are right, you must be so depleted.

@72hours

He has a psych call once a week through work. AA with a mate once a week and a second AA group meeting through CGL.

CGL don't host the meetings, they usually just lend the space etc. If he hasn't referred himself into your local service, I'd highly recommend he does. They will be able to offer support with at home detox by having nurses visit etc.

Would he go to A&E and be honest re how much he’s drinking and the withdrawal symptoms? He may need a medically assisted detox and this can be done through NHS. ( usually on the general - not psychiatric wards) . Acute alcohol withdrawal is a medical emergency.

Community detox’s rarely done these days - to be safe would need his meds supervised, and be breathalysed to make sure he’s not drinking on top of the medication.

Have you discussed with GP?
And re your support - try AL ANON and if he is under a psych team ask for a carers assessment

Been/ going through something similar. It’s exhausting

The cgl thing is who he referred himself to? He was hoping for inpatient help. He ended up calling uk detox and this is what they are doing, the at home thing. He has reached rock bottom.

Al anon is meetings that I don't have time for tbh. I am stretched thin enough as it is. I work 50 plus hours a week, 6 days for the last 4 weeks so more than thay, plus commute an hour. Plus the house and kids. I am trying to support everyone I can as best I can. Today is my only day off this week. I guess I just need an ear. I did pop into work and vent at my boss for an hour today though, which helped. No friends.

I'm gonna go though the house the day before and toss all the alcohol. He has agreed to this. His mate runs the local shop where he would walk to to get the alcohol so that's helpful as he is supportive and wont let him buy it. I have refused to buy it for years.

Op I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Alcohol has also ravaged my family and yet some members I was begging to see a doctor are still going strong and yes, one gets sucked totally into their orbit.

I don't think based on my experience now that I could stay and support someone beyond a couple of years.

I've got another relative massively struggling op, she is sort of admitting she has an issue, what is open to her on the NHS?
We don't even know wjere to point her too to get help.
She's exhausted and worn out and I think she would try and try help

• sorry I should have said going strong 20 year's later.

Are school aware of the situation? They will be able to offer support to the kids and counselling if needed.

@HangingOver
What's an outpatient rehab and how does one access it?

I have!! I did it in Sept '19.

I used my local substance abuse centre with my (sadly shit) GP. I self referred.

I had several months of counselling with very gradual reduction.

I had to have someone with me at all times over the 10 days, my Mum and DP covered that. They also attended one session with the counsellor/nurse.

I had to attend the centre daily for testing and reporting symptoms.

I stayed in counselling for around 3 months after then signed myself off. I'm still very happily, no looking back sober.

Back with more in a bit.

I used to deliver home detox ( ex cpn ) and usually they were succesful because home was often where the problem was worse so there was a reality based component that could be missed from an in patient detox .
I fully understand the "what about me ? ' thing .. Patients are often the star of the show , before during and after , with family or spouse the often unacknowledged casualty ...please dont be afraid to express your anger and resentment to a counsellor or AlAnon family support .