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"One night with your ex"

43 replies

nonstopsally · 13/06/2022 17:27

I've seen a couple of these shows where ex partners spend a night together and wondered what others felt about this. Could it be a good opportunity to talk over things that were left unsaid, raise more problems or possibly rekindle?

Personally I'm still on the fence, plus there's so many exes I wouldn't know who to choose. Smile

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TheLeadbetterLife · 13/06/2022 20:24

I’ve never understood this trope personally, because once I’ve broken up with someone I never feel a shred of sexual desire for them again. I’m friends with most of my exes, but there’s absolutely no way I could ever go to bed with them.

Jellykat · 13/06/2022 20:34

Not a whole night, but i wouldnt mind an hour with my last ex.
We were together for 12 years, and he was emotionally abusive.. one day i said to myself 'no more' and walked away (i had completed the Freedom programme by then, and luckily had never let him move in), i blocked him on everything, and he found his next victim 6 months later.
I'd love the opportunity to tell him what i thought of him, not because it would make any difference to him, but it would be cathartic for me to finally let it all out, having been silent for so so long!

nonstopsally · 13/06/2022 21:22

@Jellykat

I get you. Totally understand that. I've never had the opportunity to speak to those who were abusive to me and it's really tough wondering why, however many years ago I spoke with my first boyfriend who did a right job on me and we sorted it, he apologised and I moved on from that pain. It really helped. We're now friends :-)

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nonstopsally · 13/06/2022 21:23

@Jellykat

I get you. Totally understand that. I've never had the opportunity to speak to those who were abusive to me and it's really tough wondering why, however many years ago I spoke with my first boyfriend who did a right job on me and we sorted it, he apologised and I moved on from that pain. It really helped. We're now friends :-)

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Jellykat · 13/06/2022 22:02

nonstopsally · 13/06/2022 21:23

@Jellykat

I get you. Totally understand that. I've never had the opportunity to speak to those who were abusive to me and it's really tough wondering why, however many years ago I spoke with my first boyfriend who did a right job on me and we sorted it, he apologised and I moved on from that pain. It really helped. We're now friends :-)

I'd never be friends with my recent ex..
However, i did once have a lovely convo with an ex, 2 years after he ran off with someone else.. he told me the day he lost me, he lost the best thing in his life.. he died suddenly 6 months later. That conversation i've treasured ever since!
17 years later mum still sends me a Christmas card Smile

Neverendingmindfuck · 13/06/2022 22:31

Maybe one, just to chat. Sadly he died a few years ago, such a waste.
There was a ONS I'd definitely like to spend another night or two with....
Most I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire. In fact I may have a hand starting it, especially the nonce who's currently inside for grooming teenage girls 😡🤢

Lollypop701 · 13/06/2022 22:42

Think we might need to resurface the m25 for all shitty exs from MN….

cushionpillow · 13/06/2022 23:22

Mine was emotionally abusive, unfaithful and rude.

but the sex was great.

I wonder if I would still feel the same, 20 years on.

but after that curiosity was satisfied, I would lift up the rock for him to crawl back under

mnahmnah · 13/06/2022 23:35

It would be pretty risky meeting up with my major ex. Depending what he looks like 16 years on. Not sure I could resist going there…

RoseLunarPink · 13/06/2022 23:48

Ooh yes. There’s one who I still think about a lot, we had a deep connection and chemistry but he was a cheating arse and sexist, in a lefty right-on way. He’s sex mad so I know he’d be up for it and I’d love to catch up and chat to him, but not be in a relationship so one night would be perfect.

A couple of others I’d like to have a chat but not the sex, and the rest I would just be repulsed or embarrassed to have to see! The most recent one, who I was with the longest and had DC with, just no.

Chaoslatte · 13/06/2022 23:51

God no. 9 million people in London and I still worry about bumping into him. Fortunately I heard he moved abroad.

Sunnytwobridges · 14/06/2022 01:33

I would definitely be up for this. I would love a day with The ex that broke my heart many years ago. I’ve always wondered what happened. It would definitely give me closure.

Cuppa2sugars · 14/06/2022 02:30

I’d like a night with my ex just to remind me why I left him. He was a good man in many ways, but I can’t live with him.

CarburyChocolateRules · 14/06/2022 02:48

Yes to talk
Nothing sexual

I would tell my ex husband how sorry i was for breaking his heart, but how happy i am for him that he has a wife and children now

Kertrats · 14/06/2022 07:36

I have spent a lot of time with an ex who broke my heart in my twenties.
In many ways we have become friends again but I never have been able to forget the shit he did to me.
I must admit that at first I held the opinion that 'hey it's all past' but it isn't for me. As we saw more of each other, the resentment grew.
I keep thinking how he told me I was fat, I really wasn't, yet ended up with a woman who was obese (no disrespect to her" meant), how he pushed me, how he kept coming back even after we split.
I am in a state of ambivalence about him. On one hand it's like 'can't wait to tell him that' on the other, I can't stand him.
He also moans constantly about the woman (with whom he split up later, she chucked him out) he met after me who now really hates him.
Probably because he used her. How do I know this? Because he hid in her flat pretending he was on a course for several months.
Seriously.
I appreciate he has mental issues (diagnosed) even though he's a sweet guy but it makes zero difference to how I feel.
I'm sure he would like us to get back together but he's strictly at arm's length.
Need to spend less time with him.
Of course it's like the past never happened for him.
He's a man child really and I guess I should feel sorry for him but I don't.
A moral failing on my part perhaps.

RightOnTheEdge · 14/06/2022 07:40

Urgh no! The thought makes me feel sick!

dannydyerismydad · 14/06/2022 10:02

Nope. None of my exes are bad people, we just weren't compatible and grew apart.

I wish them all well, but have no interest in seeking them out.

If our paths crossed in future I would be civil, but I would never seek out to meet with them.

nonstopsally · 16/06/2022 15:06

I've had lots more conversations with friends about this and I came to the conclusion that I would in fact love to talk to an ex from 10 years ago. Just to see why he was like he was. Was it me, or was it him?

I was deeply in love with this man.

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