When did your kids start coming from from school to an empty house?

[Yodaisawally]

DTs are going into y7 in September. They will be just 11, August 28th birthday.

I am in the office 2 days a week, not home until gone 7pm. DH teaches locally and can be home for 5pm a couple of days a week.

They will be on the bus along with loads of other kids here so not worried about that aspect but they would be getting home around 3.30pm assuming no clubs etc.

What age did yours start coming home alone? I'm hoping there will be some clubs / homework time that they can take advantage of at least for a while and DH can be here when they get home.

They're pretty savvy but can also still do some pretty stupid things when they're together!

Mine haven't needed to on a regular basis. When Dd1 was that age I don't think I'd have been happy with it as a regular thing. I think the first time she was alone at home for any substantial length of time was year 8. I think 3.30-7.30 on a regular basis is very long. What would you do about food? Would they need to cook?

In some ways two of them together is better as they won't feel alone, can help each but in some ways it could be more problematic if a) they fight or b)they egg each other on to do something silly.

I do understand it's a problem though as they are too old for most childcare... unless you can find a friendly sixth former who would hang out with them for an hour or so and it wouldn't feel like babysitting.

Mine did when one was in P7 and the other P6 (Scotland). So, age 11 and 12.
It saved me a fortune in after school clubs and they were alone for around 60-90 mins each day.
I got a lock box put in at the back door so that they were not responsible for their own keys, as I knew they would lose them and then panic about being locked out. So, lock box was a fantastic way of easing pressure - and has come in handy countless times in the 3 years since, for when they are out with friends and I pop to the shops etc.

I would mention that we have a lot of family close by if there was emergencies but even so, I was very comfortable with them being alone for that length of time at that age as I raised them to be fairly independent and had left them alone for shorter stints in the year prior when nipping to shops, doing quick drop offs etc

11.... But I think it really depends on the child. Mine is very sensible and actually likes having quiet time to himself, but I have friends who can't leave their teens alone.

DD just had to do one day a week in Y7 but others do a lot more.

She decided against doing clubs on that day. At 3pm there's safety in numbers, both in the general crowd and friends going her way, and it's completely light even in winter. By 4.30 walking home was more intimidating. It would have been easier if she'd had a friend to walk with, or lived closer to school.

I think COVID has really hit independence though, and next year's Y7s might well need a bit more scaffolding.

They are together so should be ok.

I would write them a schedule of what they should do between 3:30 and 7:00. That can certainly include some time laying in front of the TV/doing nothing in particular but there should be slots for that. In this way you might possibly be able to prevent them from doing stupid things and also they could get their homework done and pack their bag for the next day or get any sports stuff out that’s needed for the next day.

There are also loads of cheap wireless camera systems that you can just stick on the wall to keep an eye on them if you are really worried

From 11 by eldest would come home after school on his own, I worked three days a week then but would be home by 5pm so he would only be on his own for an hour and a half max. My middle son will be going into year 7 in September (eldest has now left home). Three days a week there will be no-one here until 5, he's pretty sensible. The thing I worry most about is the daft stuff like him losing key! He'll probably just play on his Xbox until we get back, we have told him no cooking or trampolining while he's on his own.
I can remember me and my sister going home to an empty house when I was 11 and she was 13, my Dad was usually home by 5 at the latest and we often had friends that came home with us.

Mine did from the beginning of secondary. But school didn't finish until 4, they often stayed behind to do extra curricular activities, and the journey home was 30-45 minutes, so in practice they didn't usually have long to wait until I got home at 6.

I've also got twins and I think my in laws were waiting at our house for them for approx 6 months of year 7, then they started going back to an empty house. In my case I think the fact that they were together helped.

and it was only 3 days a week.

Thanks all, it would only be 330-5 as DH could get back early a couple of days.

I think I will try and get my mum over a couple of days a week for the first term until they really find their feet.

Mine was 10 ( he's 35, now ).
But a friend walked him home with her children : I didn't want him walking home on his own.
He was probably home alone for about 90 minutes. I was a nervous wreck initially, but he's always been quite sensible, so I soon relaxed. I think he quite enjoyed it.
Set ground rules, definitely.

honestly its amazing how much they grow up. at this point in year 6 it seems impossible that they will cope but by september they just do it!

DS1 used to come home on school but and twice a week would be on his own until 5ish. he coped fine. Then DD went to secondary a year later.

The main things are to establish some rules eg we have no going on the trampoline, no using the oven (although now they are year 9 and 10 they can - DD is a brill cook and will now often start dinner so its ready when the rest of us get home), no using sharp knives, no lighting the fire, no friends in the house, no lighting candles etc. and to also go through some emergency scenarios. We say just get out the house if there is a fire, dont attempt to put it out etc.

It helps when there is more of them - peace of mind that if one of them fell down the stairs then the other one is there to get help.

We have never had any issues to be honest they come home, grab a snack and then go on electronics until we get home!

We started in the last term of y6 because ds would need to come home to an empty house in Y7. We got him a mobile phone and a key and began leaving him home alone for short periods before that e.g. popping to the shops. He is very sensible anyway. At first I would text or ring him to check he was home ok. He does homework and then either goes on his games console or meeta friends at the park. He always messages to ask if he can go out. If I'm going to be a bit laye I ring him and check on him. My nextdoor neighbour gave him her number too and he has used it when he forgot his key.

Mine will be in Sept, she is 11. I do leave her at home for 30mins - an hour while i go shopping or take her sister to swimming etc so she is used to being alone. It will be 2 days a week here too as I go into office twice.

11years from high school for my oldest I work 4 days a week and most of her friends all do the same she was left until 5ish ( give or take).

11 for my youngest but his older sister is now in year11 so he's not alone in the house they are together.

They both text me daily to let me know they are home safe ( that's a rule in mine). When I get chance I phone an have a little chat just about uniforms & starting homework etc.
It is a big adjustment but lots of my mum friends do the exact same.
Practice the route etc over summer holidays for some confidence September

My DS did in year 7 until the March when Covid lockdown hit and neither have needed to since as DH now works from home.

ds it was 1-2 days a week in the first year of secondary so would have been 12 (Scotland) and I wasn't worried about him being home alone.

I was more worried about him losing the key or forgetting to lock the door behind him when he got in and going up to his bedroom and putting on headphones and being oblivious if an opportunist burglar tried the front door.

So for the first year the key was attached/sewn into the inside of his school bag pocket with a stretchy key ring thing and there was a note on the back on the door to remind him to lock it when he came in until he got into the habit 😂

Summer term of year 6, almost 11. 3 days per week.

July born child here, and I’m a lone parent so didn’t have much choice.

Mon-Thurs she would get home around 4:20pm, and I would either be home at 4:30pm (alone)or at 6pm (with her siblings in tow) - I was a student doing very long hours, and also had to dash to daycare to collect my primary school child and my toddler, and would either just make it there in time to avoid a late fee or we would casually stroll up there together.

It varied every week too - some weeks it would be 6pm every day, or 4:30pm every day, or a mixture.

In September, my middle child starts Y7 and I’m honestly more concerned about them both being home together than I was about my eldest being alone!

Same. And until 6pm. And all day sometime in the summer holidays.

Really they should be fine for 1,5 hours.