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Original poster

11 year old girl facial hair

29 replies

Castlebutnotahaven · 12/06/2022 00:05

I have an 11 year old girl who is developing a little moustache - I’ve noted it more recently and it’s definitely getting dark. I bleached and then waxed my facial hair since I was a teenager so it’s not surprising she’s developing one.
my question is around how others deal with it? I don’t want to start her waxing and I think she would be totally resistant but are there any long lasting painful options people can suggest?

OP posts:
blugray · 12/06/2022 00:09

Does she want to do anything about it though? I’d wait for her to go to you.

I think you meant to say non-painful options but tbh bleached facial hair is just as noticeable, I would just go with waxing. Shaving/hair removal cream are the only non painless options but I don’t think you’d want her to try them when you’re not around. Laser is likely to be just as expensive. Plucking or epilating feel like waxing imo

HardySwine · 12/06/2022 07:07

I have the same situation with my 12yo DD. She raised it with me so I’ve given her the option of bleaching which she’s happy to try. I bought it a while ago but she’s not in any great hurry to use it at the moment.

She uses hair removal cream for her underarms (razors scare her) and has asked that I do her legs for her. Tbh I hadn’t considered removal for her upper lip, so I might mention that as an alternative.

I had been aware of her hair for a while before she raised it with me and I made sure her concerns came from her rather than any comments anyone might have made at school, which they haven’t. I’ve also shown her everything I use (epilator, waxing strips and tweezers) so that she’s fully aware of all the options available.

Ultimately it all needs to be driven by her. Let her ask for something to be done about it first - it may not even bother her at all (which would be great)

Swearwolf · 12/06/2022 07:13

I use sensitive hair remover cream on mine and as long as you don't leave it on too long it's totally fine. I'd probably start with that.

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Sammysquiz · 12/06/2022 07:33

Interested in this, as my DD10 has the same issue. The trouble with the ‘wait til they come to you’ approach, is what if they don’t & just take matters into their own hands and try to shave it off, wax it without supervision/help etc.

Original poster
Castlebutnotahaven · 12/06/2022 07:38

Sammysquiz · 12/06/2022 07:33

Interested in this, as my DD10 has the same issue. The trouble with the ‘wait til they come to you’ approach, is what if they don’t & just take matters into their own hands and try to shave it off, wax it without supervision/help etc.

Yes I’m worried she won’t come to me immediately and will be teased about it and are self conscious. She’s a very shy gentle child who is more likely to clam up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Castlebutnotahaven · 12/06/2022 07:39

blugray · 12/06/2022 00:09

Does she want to do anything about it though? I’d wait for her to go to you.

I think you meant to say non-painful options but tbh bleached facial hair is just as noticeable, I would just go with waxing. Shaving/hair removal cream are the only non painless options but I don’t think you’d want her to try them when you’re not around. Laser is likely to be just as expensive. Plucking or epilating feel like waxing imo

Yes definitely meant non painful - can’t believe I missed that!

OP posts:
Original poster
Castlebutnotahaven · 12/06/2022 07:41

Swearwolf · 12/06/2022 07:13

I use sensitive hair remover cream on mine and as long as you don't leave it on too long it's totally fine. I'd probably start with that.

Thanks @Swearwolf can you recommend a gentle one?

OP posts:
GoodVibesHere · 12/06/2022 07:44

You could mention it in terms of yourself "I've run out of my cream that I use for removing my face hair, I need to go to Boots" . Then leave it at that and see if she asks any questions. If she knows you are open about things then she might approach you if she needs to.

I don't think I'd broach the issue of her hair directly with her, because you don't want to point it out to her as a problem.

Arthursmom · 12/06/2022 07:50

I was too embarrassed to go to my mom and god I wish she'd intervened before the teasing started at school! Definitely be proactive. As others have said, sensitive cream works well. Longer term, waxing / threading / epilating work for me and I started waxing around 16 and got used to it along with eyebrows.

Introvertedbuthappy · 12/06/2022 08:02

Similar issue here in that I have huge bushy eyebrows that seem determined to meet one another. I have to get them shaped and plucked regularly. My Mum wanted me to 'stay a kid' so didn't let me do anything with them so I was mercilessly teased about them until I shaved them off in desperation and they looked terrible.

When I noticed my pre-teen boy had developed the same issue (uni brow) I just started up a conversation with him that he takes after me, and that our eyebrows will always meet in middle. I said that that was fine, and some people leave it as it is, and some, like me, like to remove the hair where the eyebrows meet, and some (like me) like to shape them so that they are thinner than their natural shape. After discussion, he decided he wanted to pluck them so they no longer meet and so I helped him do that and when he notices it growing back I help him again and am showing him how to do it for himself.

My suggestion is point out that you have noticed she is similar to you, and that some people choose to leave their hair alone, and some choose to remove or colour it and discuss the options openly.

Zippidy123 · 12/06/2022 08:14

Yes to being proactive (in a gentle, general-'some girls start dealing with hair' kind of way)

My lovely mum had no conversations with me about any of this. I was left to skulk about in boots, no clue what to buy, I then hid it at home as I was so embarrassed. Completely unnecessary.

You sound like a brilliant mum!

HardySwine · 12/06/2022 08:24

I totally get what people are saying about them possibly not wanting to say anything and taking matters into their own hands. We’re already a very open household and I’m always talking about my own stuff for this very reason, so it felt like a completely natural conversation for us to be having when she raised it.

DustyTulips · 12/06/2022 08:33

At about that time, I got one of those little battery powered, lipstick shaped facial hair removers from Amazon. Showed it to dd and said I was going to try it out on my upper lip, she was welcome to borrow it if she wanted. I also use it to prevent a monobrow. It doesn’t hurt and is very easy to use.

changingforthebetter3 · 12/06/2022 08:37

My DD has the same issue too and a kid at school made a comment about it and she was embarrassed, wish I had said and sorted it first.

We use the Finishing Touch Facial Trimmer (Argos) which takes about 30 seconds in a morning, usually do it 3 times a week and it's just routine like brushing her teeth. No drama about it, she has dark hair and it hasn't grown back thicker, spiky etc, and I was impressed so I also got myself one (I used to bleach but it was a faff and could see in the sunlight) We've used it for a year now and it's not even something we think about as it's just routine. When she's older I will look to something more permanent.

Oh, she has a monobrow too which we just pluck every now and then.

BobbinHood · 12/06/2022 08:41

I never would have gone to my mum for any help with my facial or body hair and just ended up mucking things up by myself until I learned what I was doing. I wish she’d been more proactive with me, although I expect she didn’t want to make it an issue. But it already was an issue for me. I’ll be really conscious of this with DD in case she has inherited my hairy genes (I really hope not for her sake).

BakeOffRewatch · 12/06/2022 08:50

Could you take her somewhere to have it threaded, then it’s a communal experience and not a secret thing to manage. To be honest, I wouldn’t mention it at all, what if she’s fine with it and never wants to remove it? My parents always said I looked beautiful and I didn’t need to do anything, which I remember now and take heart in when I’ve stopped removing it because my skin is so sensitive.

RhiRhi1996 · 12/06/2022 09:16

Has she brought it up that she is Insecure and wants to get rid of it ? If not, then I'd leave it.

I was/am quite hairy and had a moustache around that age too. I did start to get some mean comments so I wanted to get rid of it. I think I started using hair removal cream to begin with. I think that's the best option if you think she won't try waxing.

Beamur · 12/06/2022 09:23

I said to my DD at a similar age, that puberty may bring about changes to hair on her body, on your legs, underarms etc. If it does and she wanted it to be removed to speak to me and we would sort it out.
I would support her to do this if it made her less self conscious about her appearance.
Waxing is a bit ouchy for top lip but very effective. She might be too young to have it done though and home strips might be more painful!
I think that the suggestions of bleach or hair removing cream are best.

Swearwolf · 12/06/2022 10:08

@castlebutnotahaven I just use the Veet sensitive. There is one specifically for face and bikini area.

oinkypoink · 12/06/2022 12:57

If you do try a hair removal creams, make sure you test them somewhere else first because I recently burnt my face using a sensitive skin face one in the exact way it the instructions said to use it.

I had a massive scab on my upper lip, never again and it's burnt my skin so was extremely painful.

Does your dd actually care?! I would just tell her you're having your eyebrows done one day or whatever you have done and take her to the appointments and let her sit in but without letting her have anything done to give her the chance to open up a conversation about it rather than tell her what to do. I've found girls are naturally adept at working out how to sorting these things out when the time comes?

Summerwhereareyou · 12/06/2022 15:00

Mine noticed and we used facial hair bleach,it was so fine anyway.

However not sure about her underarms?
It's quite thick would hair remover work?

Minikievs · 12/06/2022 15:06

Please be careful using bleach to "disguise" it. I had a couple of friends at secondary school who did it-it was just as thick and noticeable as a dark moustache. They got teased ENDLESSLY and horribly by the boys at school. If it's bad enough to need bleaching, just get rid of it (if she wants to)
IMO bleaching does nothing to hide it.

Summerwhereareyou · 12/06/2022 15:16

Mini depends on thickness!

Kanaloa · 12/06/2022 15:22

I use one of those little razors, it’s like a small thin one you can use on your face, usually people use for eyebrows. It doesn’t leave bumps or anything, you just do it softly and it would be pretty hard to cut yourself with it.

I think it’s a tricky situation because I certainly wouldn’t bring it up to her because it could hurt her feelings, but I’d also worry she’s too embarrassed to bring it up. Could you let her see you doing yours? Or as a pp said, bring her along to your appointment and let her see you having a waxing or threading.

Mwnci123 · 12/06/2022 15:31

I had a few prominent hairs on my upper lip as a young teenager and my mum took me for electrolysis. Really glad she was proactive and got it sorted before I became self conscious/ started getting teased.