Finances and a second marriage when I have dependents

[TheCatIsBack]

Is there any way to keep myself financially secure if getting married again when I have DC and my partner doesn’t?

At the moment we all live together in a house that is in my sole name and I own outright (thanks to money from my family). DP owns houses that he rents out and gets a good income from.

He earns much more than me (100k to my 20k) and we pay approximately the same per month into a joint account (he pays slightly more) but otherwise our money is our own.

I am worried about trying to keep financially secure when we get married and being able to pass some of my money down to my children but know MN posters tend to advise against a second marriage when one party has kids.

Is there a fair way to sort out finances in this sort of situation? Am I a fool to get married in this position?!

I guess I don’t know how to start this conversation because I don’t know what is fair. My mum never worked and walked away with half of a fortune when she and my dad divorced. I have always thought this highly unfair (we had nannies, she wasn’t staying at home to bring us up) and I am fiercely independent about money. I don’t want to be reliant on anyone for money but I don’t honestly know how to navigate this situation to anything that resembles fair.

Jeez op please het some legal advice immediately. On the face of it would appear that marriage could significantly benefit you financially as you would be entitled to half of the matrimonial assets. But I have heard of people ring fencing assets but don't know how that works. Sorry that was probably not much help to you op

In your position, I wouldn’t get married.

Either way, I think it would be helpful for you to get legal and financial advice before you decide what to do.

I'm another one wondering why you want to get married, as I don't see what you would gain from it. But if you must, then get proper legal advice.

You need to see a solicitor and ask them what legal options you have with your will to ensure your DC would inherit your house ( maybe you'd want him to stay in it until he should remarry or need nursing care?)
If he has a will who would be his beneficeries? Yourself (if you marry) or anyone else?
If you cant discuss finance options with your dp now (fearful of his reaction?) You shouldnt marry him.

In terms of getting advice from a solicitor would that be the same one who did my will or do I need a different kind of solicitor?