Name changed, regular long time poster.
Last night DH was out for a run, so as usual I went to have a quick wank. This is my only 30 minute window in which DC and DH are out of the house, it happens weekly and it's become a regular 'thing' for me to do this and although I don't announce it to DH, we've had many jokey discussions about this being my 'time' and he is fully aware this is something I do, just like I'm fully aware he does the same a couple of times in the week when I've got DC and he's home alone.
Last night, the bastard came home early and bounded up the stairs to come and tell me he'd hit a 10k PB and he walked in on me mid way through.
I was a bit startled and burst out laughing after a very awkward few seconds. DH also laughed, then we had sex, then afterwards he insisted on giving me an extensive quiz on what I'd been thinking about/ reading when he'd walked in.
I told him I wasn't going to tell him because some things really do need to stay private in a marriage. It started out as gentle nudging and trying to get it out of me but he kept on and on and on about it until I finally said 'I'll tell you if you tell me the last thing you watched whilst wanking'.
He told me, zero hesitation, absolutely no bashfulness at all.
Reader, it was tentacle porn. As in, a cartoon of a woman having sex with a tentacled alien.
Now, I'm no prude. I'd almost rather he was watching cartoon porn than the real stuff because at least no one's getting trafficked.. but.. tentacles??
I've brushed it off and we laughed about it, but today I'm a bit shellshocked and not sure what to make of this revelation after 18 years of marriage?!
Should I be worried, or should I be looking for tentacle alien costumes on Amazon?
Help me figure this out and please do laugh, this is the most ridiculous situation EVER.