How to convince my autistic SIL to not put all her money in PayPal

[onthefencesitter]

My SIL earns a small amount of money writing online. In around 2 years she has earned around US$15k. It's all still in PayPal as the 'reason' is that the fees to convert it an take it out are very high. While that is true, there isn't any other alternative one can do! It's been sitting there for around 2 years and DH now has realized she is doing what her dad did (he was unemployed for many years and would fantastically save his 'pocket money' that he got from DH's mum and ask for additional money for buying groceries etc). Which is why after they divorced and he got a 100k settlement for the house, that wasn't the only money he had despite not working for many years, he had additional savings (which he placed in ISAs and bonds) which is why he was able to retire to Thailand (and also support a new wife)...

It's not my business what she does with her money but I dont think she is aware of the implications of leaving it in PayPal. Firstly, inflation. Secondly, monies in PayPal are not guaranteed. She is not contributing NI so no state pension. I suggested contributing to a pension or buying bonds/shares, which she laughed at and said it was silly cos 'mummy has no pension too why should I have one'. 'Well mummy has a state pension, tiny private pension and owns her house. That's very different.' SIL lives with MIL which is fine for now but if MIL needs care, what happens then?

I am concerned about this as DH's other siblings are overseas, I don't think there is any plan for the future so DH and I might be supporting her. I realized this yesterday when DH's sister blew up at DH and told him that because DH and their siblings left her out of playtime, he owes her. we think MIL might be encouraging this narrative perhaps not consciously but this narrative is quite convenient as MIL doesn't need to solve the existing problem (SIL was diagnosed but has never received medical help and to this day denies there is a problem) and SIL would always be taken care of. If we are to support her, then it's easy if there is money (just like FIL had money). Also as she is young, there are many years left where the problem can be solved but I fear the problem might get worse since everyone is ignoring it..

MIL's financial support was extremely extensive- deposits for a flat and a house; regular tops up, paid for flights, school fees (Dh and one of his sisters went to a haredi primary school that didn't qualify for state funding), pocket money for the kids, furniture etc etc. MIL is very frugal and admittedly, this support was needed because of the 4 kids and the non working spouse; she wouldn't have needed so much if she was single. But there are no plans to provide SIL with even a fraction of what MIL has received in her lifetime and unlike DH's sisters, she probably wouldn't marry.

I do agree she would get money from the house but whether that is enough to upkeep her own property for life plus supplement her income, i have no idea. For example, 400k is a lot of money. If you are working and can get a mortgage for 300k, it will buy you a decent property in most parts of the UK.If you have negligible earnings and have to buy a property for 200k, will the remaining feed you for the rest of your life if you have negligible income (accounting for inflation) and if you have no state pension. I know that there are some places in the UK where property is very cheap i.e. 100k but I don't think that will stay the same; i think the gap between london and the rest of the country will close.

@onthefencesitter my dd will never work as although she is high functioning, vshe needs a very high level of support to keep her ticking over. She has a FT assistant in school, is on a very reduced timetable, cannot leave the house independently as she loses focus and can't manage safely etc. Like your SIL she sleeps until midday and needs an awful lot of free time just to wind down from the fairly minimal activities that she does. She's high functioning in the sense that her IQ is within average range and she was supposed to do 8 GCSE's, but we discovered that as she got older she became overwhelmed much more easily and we had to pare everything back to bare minimum. She got 4 GCSE's and is doing one A level. She will not be able to work unless she gets some sort of assistant to keep her on track and even at that I can't see her working more than a few hours a week. She gets highest rate PIP and I forsee her being a long term benefits user.

Wow I feel envious just reading about all the support your DD gets. I think my SIL would have done so well if she had that kind of support! Kudos to your DD for persevering in her education.

My SIL is highly literate in the sense that her writing must be fairly good to have subscribers willing to pay for it. But yet she can't pass any GCSEs. I think this must be due to lack of structure rather than her intelligence/academic ability.

The sad thing is that provision for adults with autism is dire, so my dd will likely end up at home. She has no friends IRL and is reliant on us for her social life.

GCSE's are not difficult for someone who sounds as literate as your SIL. A large part is knowing the structure and pattern of the exam questions, and working through the mark schemes to see what answers they are looking for. This is how my DD passed her exams. I suspect the school your DSIL was at was not equipped to deal with her SEN. If she's keen to do even maths and English GCSE you could organize a tutor for her to help her navigate it.