If you are too if your profession, earning fantastic money, how did you get there?

[12Thorns]

Leading on from my other thread, where it seems very few top scoring children went on to be conventionally successful adults, it would be interesting to ask the question the other way around.

if you are a highly successful adult, in terms of academics and career, how did you get there? How did you do at school, and what has happened since?

Title should read ‘top of’ ! Sorry.

Not sure I’m top of my profession but I’ve done ok. Left school with two O level passes and eight CSEs. Started out life as the office dogsbody/assistant.

Moved to London and climbed the ladder to Partner in a global organisation doing entry level qualifications, up to post grad for two different sector institutes. Then a part time masters degree.

No A levels or degree.

Moved into civil service, running a department, same job, half the pay but it was a lifestyle choice. I work every bit as hard as I did in the corporate sector. Long hours, lots of stress due to understaffing (whereas in the private sector that was never an issue) but I get to work and live near my family.

I didn't see your other thread, but I was a highly academic child who went on to a professional career and I'm doing pretty well (make good money, love my job, have an industry awards ceremony tonight where I've been nominated for "professional of the year" in what I do, etc). I did take a couple of really big risks early on though, which I felt able to do as I have always been financially and practically supported by parents, DH and paid support like nannies when the kids were small. I think it's this support that made all the difference really.

Interesting contributions. Thank you

Friends and acquaintances I know earning the most have worked in big company (places like Goldman) corporate finance from a legal perspective. They did combined economics law degrees, and all retired by 50yo. Generally too busy to have families earlier so essentially retirement and starting a family late 40’s, all men and all settled down late with young women who were more than happy to trade off a very comfortable life, not having to work etc with a more mature gent.

Luck mostly, right place right time and also moved on quickly from a couple of intolerable jobs…

also good political antennae…can see when something is likely to kick off.

public service.

Degree, PhD, worked like a dog for 20 years then got very lucky.

Luck and hard work was it for me!

Oh yes, and a hugely supportive DH who is SAHD to our kids. Could not have done it without him.

I did ok but not brilliantly at GCSEs, terribly at A Levels and went to a not well regarded "Poly" university but did very well there. I think a more vocational style of studying suited me much better.

Once I got into the world of work I've thrived, consistently getting brilliant reviews from colleagues & clients, and progressing at a good rate. I'm now in my mid 30s and earn very good money.

I think it's 3 things:

1. Enthusiasm - I make a big effort with my work, I'm always trying to better the work I do and the processes I use, and help other people when I find something that works
2. Be charming/nice to people - being likeable gets you such a long way in life (probably much further than it should!). Showing an interest in people, making them feel cared for and respected, being polite (but still standing your ground and asserting boundaries when you need to)
3. Being proactive - the people I see do really well at work are the ones who don't wait to be given the next task or told every step of how to do something, it's the people who seek out new opportunities and propose ways to achieve them

I did take a couple of really big risks early on though, which I felt able to do as I have always been financially and practically supported by parents, DH and paid support like nannies when the kids were small. I think it's this support that made all the difference really.
I think the support element is key to anyone 'succeeding' in a chosen career but women in particular as in general we get so little support. I had my first dc at 25. I had minimal family support & nor was my dc's father (my subsequent dh & now exdh) very supportive. He wasn't unsupportive but rather he had the attitude that his career was more important than mine as did his & my families (it was the 90's). I kept working (part time) but not in my field, yet between us we didn't earn enough for proper childcare & so I while I was always in employment it was also based around me doing the childcare.
The two things I say to all my dc (male & female) now are 1) establish yourself career & money wise before you settle down & have kids/take on big debt like mortgages & 2) find a partner who believes in/will do the equal sharing of childcare & housework.

I worked in higher education for 28 years everyone was certainly clever and some were genius levels. It’s very obvious to me that many people would never reach their full potential because they were very poor communicators. They had amazing brains but really poor social skills. Many were probably ND but undiagnosed.

Two my women friends who have done very well but did not go to Univeristy spring to mind. Both are excellent communicators they are also decisive, fun and just have a way with words. They are also not intimidated by men at all.

I own a successful business that makes profits which allowed me to retire wealthy at 50.

Key factors I think are:

Children later in life
Nanny
Partner who absolutely gets equality
Making a couple of great decisions
Not giving up when things got hard
Not being financially greedy - caring for the business like a third child. Never stripping it if cash

Is it just money and career status that are your metrics for success?

I know lots of people who are top of their game earn loads and are exhausted and miserable (I used to be one of those).

I think your 360 emotional integrity is important.

The most satisfied people I know have a good solid reciprocal relationship with their OH, alongside lots of nurturing friends.

Choose your partner wisely.

Hm, bit of both? I was a 'gifted' child but left school in my early teens. Hated it. I absolutely lived in fear of being 'found out'. I have no A-levels or degree etc. I have a few GCSEs that I took in year 8 but I just leave off the education field on my CV. 😂

For various reasons I subsisted in a bad situation until my 30s - on the dole etc. However, when I got my personal life together, I simply walked into a high paying job (I just taught myself programming, built some software, and showed it to people) and am now C-level. It didn't take me that long and it wasn't that difficult. I'm still thinking about that.

I still have these contradictory tracks running in my mind from childhood, I suppose: one where it's psychologically vital that I prove I'm The Cleverest Person in the World, one where I'm definitely A Fraud and A Fool. I'm working on a newer one that seems...saner where I notice that even though I always feel like I don't know what I'm doing, I usually deliver quite good results. I'm neither a genius nor an idiot, but just an ordinarily bright woman with some areas of excellence and some things out of reach. It's not a huge crime to not be a genius. I don't need to firebomb my entire life to excuse myself from the obligation. It's ok.

The main difference between me and most people I've worked with (not all) is that I always assume we can do something and that the task is to find out how. A lot of people I work with are very sure they can't do something because they don't know how to do it. But you can learn how to do things -- that's really the interesting part.

@DFOD op does state that she's asking the question in terms of academics & careers.
Furthering on from my post I feel quite successful in other areas of my life - good relationships with dc, family & friends etc. But I do feel I have failed re career & academics & while the decisions that led to this failure were ultimately mine I do feel that with better support I would have made better decisions.
I absolutely do NOT regret my dc but as @HMSSophia has highlighted having dc young is very detrimental to career progression & this is even more so when your oh is not treating your career prospects as equal.
I am also part of a generation of women who while encouraged to work still absorbed the societal notion that a man's career is more important than a woman's & that when you have dc a 'decent' mother will always put their care first no matter at what expense to herself whereas the father will in no way be expected to make the same sacrifices.

I was a high achiever who could have gone down a very high-achieving path, but instead became a high-achiever in a less conventional way I guess.

I graduated in the recession, so work opportunities weren't fantastic, and none of the grad schemes appealed.

I worked in a tiny (and shit) company for a low wage in a poor northern city, so the wage was more than adequate. I improved several systems, got some general job experience, and most importantly, quit when they treated me badly.

I moved to a different post in a different city. Knuckled down to everything that needed doing, promoted to a significant project. Completed that in two years, then completed various internal projects before being promoted to COO because I had a track record of performance.

I think the critical factor is movement. Whether it's you, your salary, your job, your role, it happens every year or two.

And the other is flexibility. If you're talented and show it, it will get noticed, and those achievements can go on your CV and get you noticed.

I always keep an eye out for jobs, and generally apply for another job a year whether I particularly want to move or not. I always get interviews because there's something interesting about the fact that I am a high achiever on A, B and C, but also have a steady track record of x, y and z. When I was sifting CVs, these ad hoc extras were always a sign of a great employee who both would and could contribute many different things to a company.

I was top set at school, steady middle top set, got a law degree - which impressed people more than it should (though didn't train to be a lawyer). Taught English abroad for a while in a structured job - again looked more impressive than it was.

But mostly it was I think because I didn't take a career break to have kids - I really think that does effect women's earnings. Probably not as much as now as it did when I was a gal (I'm mid 50s) - but contemporaries who had kids - they had to work a bit harder.

Could have written this myself. Did your career ever recover? I'm at the point of wanting to do this, but feel 20 years behind everyone else and not sure how to 'catch up'.

I know someone in this situation. She retrained in project management - did a couple of courses (which did cost a few grand) but has since had a stellar career - she did this at 55.

I think you have to choose wisely.

@toddlingabout I'll be honest & say I'm finding it pretty difficult. I have to keep working as I'm a single parent. I did some minor courses in the field I want to get into hoping these might get me into a job even if it's at entry level. I'm 50 & have applied for a few jobs in this field but haven't even gotten called for interview!
Realistically I think I will need a specialist degree in order to even get an interview! & I'm not in a position to do that until my youngest goes to uni in 2 years time.
I have looked at doing a degree online through the OU but I work from home most of the time & think I would find working & studying from home both isolating & a bit head melting.
Again I am acknowledging that the lack of support is a big factor. All that being said I have some inheritance that will get dd through uni so I will be able to step back a bit then & I am lucky to have that. I make decent enough money now but never so much that there was enough left over for a properly good pension & I feel that's where I'm caught. I'd like to be able to get myself to an earning point where I feel my financial future will be secure. However by the time I qualify I'll be about 55 & honestly - sometimes I just feel like I'm out of steam!

@DFOD thanks, I'll look into that, it's something someone else mentioned to me as well, so could be worth a try.

@Magda72 I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad you at least have inheritance to help a little. Those are both things that concern me, pensions and doing a course/retraining, but age being against me. I have found in the past that shorter courses don't really help. If you have a degree, there are now at least postgrad student loans, which makes retraining more possible now. I wondered about OU, but like you, worry about the isolation.

Sorry for hijacking the thread. I'm afraid I don't have an answer to your question, but I think you've had some really good comments on here.