Tweens and social media- what do you allow?

[Smartiepants79]

My Dd is in year 7, has owned a phone since September.
It is quite carefully monitored and she has no social media other than Whatsapp.
She has started a conversation tonight asking if she can be allowed on Snapchat/tiktok…..
All her friends use it apparently 🤨🙄 I tried to get her to articulate why she wanted it and what she needed it for. She couldn’t really answer me. It was a very sensible conversation and she does understand why we’ve always said no. BUT she still wants it…
If you have kids of a similar age what do you allow. What do you see as the positives or negatives?
I don’t use Tiktok or Snapchat myself (I have Facebook and Instagram but have never been a big poster) so maybe I’m missing something??

Ds 12, year 7 has WhatsApp, that's it. He watches some tiktoks because his friends post links on the group chat and he can see them but it's not many and I monitor his phone.

Dd14, year 9 has WhatsApp and Facebook. She hasn't asked for any others yet.

Ds age 12 in year 7. Has WhatsApp- primarily to talk to family abroad - has hearing loss so needs to be able to see people to talk. Now uses it with friends too. Nothing else allowed. I don’t care quite frankly if all his friends have it he is not.

Sorry.
Positives it seems to be something that most of them have access too (tiktok) so they are not excluded from conversations.
Negatives, the safety aspects, age appropriate content, wanting to spend more time online.

Very reluctantly let Y7 DC have Snapchat recently but they know we can ask to check it whenever we want so they know to be careful what is shared. No other SM allowed.

oh and no phone allowed past 8pm

DS 13, tik tok and nothing else. No WhatsApp/Snapchat/YouTube. DS11 no phone.

DS is 12 and only has WhatsApp. He's not allowed Facebook, IG, tiktok, Snapchat...nada. I don't know when I'll change my mind, but not for now. It's scary what can happen when kids use these things.

Year 7 here, WhatsApp and very recently and reluctantly, Snapchat.

DD is 11 and has WhatsApp and nothing else but none of her friends do either. She’s not asked for any social media and spends surprisingly little time on her phone, prefers a book. She’ll be year 7 in September though with a different set of friends so I do wonder if that’ll change.

Dd 11 year 6 just got WhatsApp. We didn't allow it initially but then realised none of her friends actually use standard text messages. No other social media.

Yr6, hS WhatsApp. Thats what a her friends use because its free and you don't need a contract. I check her contacts, its just friends and family.

Weve had a chat about Snapchat before as the Yr6 parents had an email from school.

DS 12, in year 7, has WhatsApp. He hasn't asked for anything else. He watches some tiktok stuff via YouTube I think, but doesn't have the app. The stuff he watches is language based (someone arguing with themselves in French/Spanish/English- He finds it hilarious!)

None at that age. I'm aware we are outliers, we were outliers with the older ones and feel even further out with the younger ones.

You’re confirming what I think really.
Think we’ll leave it til September at least!

@Smartiepants79 the longer you can delay it the better!

13, WhatsApp & Skype for known friends. Everything else on phone is locked down.

I nearly said yes to SnapChat but I installed it on my own phone for 24 hours & decided definitely not - lots of advice type reviews for it are out of date I think. Lots of TikTok type videos running & loads of sexually suggestive stuff - I had thought it was for putting silly ears on when you chatted to friends!

I really recommend using an app before saying yes (fortunately DD was very understanding albeit disappointed with my turnaround!)

12 year old year 7. Has Instagram, tiktok and Snapchat. However he has ASD so only follows sports people or you tubers on Instagram. Tik tok he watches whatever appears and snap chat he uses it purely for the camera filter. He had asked for facebook but I said no as he would want to be friends with me and family but I don't want him seeing certain things I post around ASD and family posting rude memes. If he had friends, I would be more mindful of Instagram and Snapchat

Don't you have to be 13 to have those apps anyway?

I have just looked at them both supposed to be 12+.

I have also blocked all social media at my router. Mwah ha ha ha

We have a parental control app which lets you limit how many minutes they can watch of each app. Y7 has 5 minutes of TIk Tok and 30 minutes of SnapChat a day, as compromise. Her friends all seem to use
SC now, not Whatsapp : (

She’s year 7, not ! So either 12 or almost 12.

I le DS, 12 have Snapchat for about a day before I looked at what his friends were putting on and blocked it immediately. He wants insta so he can 'live stream' him playing xbox games but I've said no. I teach secondary, most of them do have these apps and it does cause problems. Wish the whole bloody lot could just disappear.

See it’s the not the amount of time she’ll spend on it that bothers me. It’s the content she’s exposed to.
I signed up last night and the stuff on there is utter dross. It’s also terrible how easy it was to just sign up- as anyone, any gender any age. I can put myself on there as 12 year old girl myself and no one gives a shit that I’m not!