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Original poster

The following text...

33 replies

Jaggerdagger · 06/06/2022 22:15

"Hi Jaggerdagger. Just wondering if you're doing anything next Saturday?"

But then... THEY DON'T SPECIFY what they want you to be free for! Could be anything. I might be free on Saturday, but I certainly don't want to go to a Rod Stewart tribute act, for instance. Or mud flinging in Gloucestershire when I live in Essex. Or even going to a snotty nosed child's birthday party on my only day off, when I'm a primary school teacher.

Is it just me that finds this really irritating, and that one should always state the full facts in the initial message?

OP posts:
WeDoNotTalktoPennilynLott · 06/06/2022 22:22

It's a trap, that's how they lure you in...

Hatinafield · 06/06/2022 22:24

YANBU. “Mm, not sure at the minute! What did you have in mind?” should sort it?

RaininSummer · 06/06/2022 22:25

Hmm trying to trap you probably. Could say that you aren't sure yet but may have a plan already awaiting confirmation. Maybe then they will say what it is.

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General education
RubaiyatOfAnyone · 06/06/2022 22:25

Definitely don’t give an unqualified “yes!” Or they’ll follow it up with “great, you can babysit for us as we’re going out to do [lovely thing you’d have liked to do too].”
definitely a trap.

Rememberallball · 06/06/2022 22:26

They want you to babysit their 3 darling bratlings for a long weekend so they can go to an alcohol fuelled shagfest!!

Rememberallball · 06/06/2022 22:27

They are pulling you into a false sense of security that they’re inviting you out to a rather lovely event when, in reality, they want you to babysit their 3 darling bratlings for a long weekend so they can go to an alcohol fuelled shagfest!!

Cutemob · 06/06/2022 22:48

Oh yes! Totally agree with you OP, we have a "friend" who does this to us regularly. It's almost always a trap, usually something to do with relieving pressure from her regarding her young children. If she just asked outright we would probably be more inclined to help. It's the manipulative nature of it all that gets to me, and that she never seems to repay the favours she traps us into and is generally a bit of a liar! I've taken to just ignoring her texts more recently, although I may consider doing as the Romans do in future 🙃

Testina · 07/06/2022 00:26

I’d definitely suspect a trap, and you’re not wrong to dislike it!

Bellarima · 07/06/2022 00:32

This Saturday or next Saturday? 😉

Myshitisreal · 07/06/2022 00:36

Just say you need to check, why do they ask ?

Maverick101 · 07/06/2022 01:34

Well that would get a one word answer from me -- "why?"

But I'm not British 😉

youlightupmyday · 07/06/2022 01:45

OMG. This sort of behaviour has been on my.mind recently because my boyfriend does it to me, amongst other idiots who do it too.

Eg Are we doing anything on 1st July?

Can be anything to an amazing dinner for the two of us , to him bailing on a kid weekend to go out with the lads. Now I won't answer until.i get more context. But friends do it too and unless it is something I want to join I will not commit because I have now noticed the pattern.

I just reply with " More info needed" I add a 🙃 if it looks too brutal

"Why"" is also perfectly reasonable.

BreadInCaptivity · 07/06/2022 02:05

I actually love these messages because I know I'm going to get to do a "Phoebe" Blush.

AllFreeOwls · 07/06/2022 09:26

Echoing it could be a trap. I fell into this one once and ended up dog sitting for an a former friend so she could go on a fun weekend with the women who had Wendy'ed me out of our friendship. Taught me an excellent lesson on always finding out why before confirming my availability.

Zpoa · 07/06/2022 09:32

Not sure yet, why?

Beamur · 07/06/2022 09:34

Maverick101 · 07/06/2022 01:34

Well that would get a one word answer from me -- "why?"

But I'm not British 😉

Perfect.
I was thinking along the lines of 'It depends'

Shinyandnew1 · 07/06/2022 09:35

Just reply-‘not sure yet, why do you ask?’

I definitely wouldn’t reply with a ‘yes’!!

AyeUpMeDuck · 07/06/2022 09:44

I'd reply with something stupid.
"Depends what time, my prices go up the later you want me."

LindaEllen · 07/06/2022 09:46

Ha, I always reply 'that depends on what you have in mind'.

I'm too old to be doing things I don't want to do. Learning to say no, and just tell them it's not really your thing/you don't feel up to it is a key life skill!

myuterusistryingtokillme · 07/06/2022 13:08

I'm another one that would just go back with 'why?'

Etinoxaurus · 07/06/2022 13:13

I remember an etiquette guide suggesting an imagined chore. ‘Quite a busy weekend- what are you thinking of?’ Then if it’s babysitting you have your excuse and if it’s something fun you can happily accept, saying you’ll paint the bathroom Sunday.

TunaSalad · 07/06/2022 13:15

It's ALWAYS babysitting!!

I reply with, not sure I will check, why?

pinkhipposgoswimming · 07/06/2022 13:21

Who are you all checking with ? 😂 Although DH does this when he gets an invite to his parents for dinner because there's no such thing as a free lunch, there's always loads of tasks they want doing.

chopc · 07/06/2022 13:38

Why can't you say yes or no when they tell you? Why would you need to be falsely busy? I don't understand the dishonesty

Crunchymum · 07/06/2022 13:41

"Not sure yet, what do you have in mind?"