Julia Roberts moment

[Gouldengirl9]

Dd is getting married at the end of September.
Today I went to a posh shop in our nearest city.
I'm the wrong side of 60. Only 5ft tall and a size 18 with a flabby belly. Plus I'm only just getting over breast cancer so boobs are lobsided.
DH was with me and we were both dressed in our minds well turned out.
DH stood to one side while I was looking through the dresses, when one of the assistants came over and the first words were that these dresses cost over £300 so if I want to look at the rails at the back they MIGHT be in my price range.
Fortunately DH overheard and is quicker than me gave a good reply.
He said 'my wife has £1000 to spend on an outfit for our daughters wedding and if your stock is only about £300 this is not the shop for her'.
We then left. He was only joking about the £1k. I wanted to go home as I was so upset but he persuaded me to carry on shopping.

After 3 other shops with nothing I liked I came across another posh shop and they couldn't have been more helpful. I chose a dress but parts of it were not working well with my body. They are going to alter it to fit just need to return in August.
And it cost £450 and that includes a hair accessory. Just bag and shoes to get.

Why that assistant was so rude I don't know. Thank goodness no one else was in the shop to hear her say that.

God what a nasty cow. Reminds me of the bridal shop I went to when I was getting married - it was local so I walked up there with my baby.

The husband of the two was lovely, but the wife openly sneered at me and told me they didn't have anything in my size and nothing that would fit my chest, anyway. She also told me that most people don't bring their baby dress shopping. I left in tears and got my dress custom made by a local seamstress instead, as she ruined the entire experience for me and I couldn't bear the thought of going into a dress shop.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding!

That’s not a nice thing to say to anybody, there’s nothing wrong with working in a shop

Just like the Julia Roberts moment quoted, it didn't happen. So no need to worry about it too much!

Congratulations on your daughter's upcoming wedding and for getting through cancer treatment.

So sorry you had to deal with that woman's behaviour, that's horrible. Great response by your DH, he sounds lovely!

Glad to hear you found a dress despite the upsetting start to your shopping trip.

Hope you all have a wonderful time at the wedding in September🙂

it was a comedy moment (not real) making a point about the condescending attitudes of some people working in certain types of shops and their assumptions about who is the “right type of” customer. I’ve been both sides of the counter; when I was in 6th form I worked in an expensive jewellers and was quite often treated really badly by customers, so much so that I vowed never to treat someone like that when I was a customer myself. However, if I was patronised like OP or some of the other experiences here, I’d let them know what I thought. I’d be polite but they’d be in no doubt.

Good for your DH @Gouldengirl9 and I’m really sorry you were upset. You’d have thought in these days of retail closures they’d be a bit more savvy about not alienating customers wouldn’t you?

When it comes to negative feedback news travels. There is a boutique where I live and the owner has always been a real gatekeeper, almost chasing people out of the shop if they don’t look monied enough and really rude to people who aren’t a size 10 or don’t look like they have money. She got away with it up until recently when she took to SM to rant about the need to support local businesses and ended up with a massive thread of everyone detailing how she’d treated them. That shop is closing down as she has no goodwill and people have voted with their feet. I’m sure if she had been pleasant and people had felt they could browse she would have done a roaring trade and certainly survived these difficult times.

I’m you found something else in another shop!

I had the opposite, in Currys of all places.

I was a student and I'd been given a grant to buy some equipment. I was looking at various camera equipment and the sales assistant was lovely, spent time with me, it was about the time digital equipment was just coming in and was really expensive.

All in all he spent 30-45 mins.

I had deliberately not taken any means to pay so that I could have a think about it. And I told him I wasn't buying that day.

The following day I went back to actually but the equipment but the assistant who had spent time with me wasn't there.

Anyway the manager served me, I told him how much the salesperson had helped and the manager put it through the till on as his (sales assistant) so when he got into work later he would have already made a decent amount of commission.

Well done to your dh.
My dh was a star when a snooty estate agent in Harrogate told us we couldn’t afford the houses we were looking at and , as we were moving from Bucks, added did you think it would be cheaper here?
I didn’t want to move so felt dreadfully upset. Dh asked the woman to find details for 4 houses. Then as we left the office he looked directly at her and put all of the details straight in the bin on the pavement.

My DH and I went to see a financial advisor. My DH was suited and booted as he'd come from work and I was dressed smart/casually as I'm a SAHM. The Financial Advisor barely acknowledged my presence and didn't even shake my hand on arrival whilst chatting animatedly to my DH. When the time came to discuss what our financial situation was, how much we had to invest etc, my DH turned to me and said "Foodielady has all the details. She does all our accounts". The Financial Advisors face fell when he realised that he had been fawning over the wrong person. We did not invest with him or his company.

We've had it loads in car showrooms. We dress perfectly smartly (DH in chinos and shirt) and we almost have to beg them to let us buy a car. We've actively complained about some (Jaguar, I'm looking at you) and now would never give them our custom.

The funny thing is I work in the wine industry and I learn very very early on that you can never predict who is going to suddenly drop a humongous amount of money. Someone can turn up in a bashed up old Micra wearing clothes with holes in (actual example) and drop 20k on a 'party'.
In our case I think it's that we look too young, but we are in our 30s and comfortable money to spend on cars - and change regularly. So more fool them!

I think this is why online car buying will take off, dh is motortrade and the salesman are nightmares for snap judgements of customers so he’ll go and check if the customer needs help and when he finds out the customer needs an E class estate for the weekends as they don’t want to take the Bentley to the stables (genuine example) feeds them through to the salesman who he likes best. Which is a difficult choice as their such pricks generally.

Is that snobbery or sexism thoug? If you'd been in a power suit and DH In jeans and tshirt do you think he'd have talked to vyou or still assumed the man must be in charge?

Have a fantastic day!

get the lopsided thing. Don’t do many occasions, never liked them and feel able to say so at last but I always go to a local charity shop if I need anything like that, always scrub up ok.

@Shade17 the conversation never got that far! All she had said was she was looking to buy a new car of x type. They'd no idea she was a cash buyer - and frankly even if that was their issue still no excuse to treat a customer that way!

@YouOKHun exactly! They shoot themselves in the foot! Particularly independent shops NEED goodwill and good rep to stay in business those that don't understand this have only themselves to blame when they lose custom

@sashh that's lovely. I did something similar recently but with furniture ensured the sales assistant that put the yards in got the commission

Your husband is a legend OP!

My mum did something similar for me when I went looking for prom dresses with her and my best friend and her mum - we were in late 90s/early 2000s questionable platform trainers and a woman in a shop in Windsor was unbelievably rude - Mum did a wonderful dignified response and exit while bestie and I were still looking at each other in shock

Also refuse to shop in Ted Baker because I once asked if they had a dress I liked in any other sizes (and like some PPs, with a healthy budget for once for an occasion) and the assistant looked me up and down and said "oh no, we don't make them that big". I'm happy with my size 18 self but I've never forgotten that - took my money elsewhere!

I once witnessed an oh shit wrong person moment. When I worked as a bar supervisor we were holding interviews for staff. One guy came in and said he was there for an interview. I directed him to sit down and went to get my boss. She walks through to the bar, spots him and started laughing. I walk out to see what she is laughing at. She approaches the Interviewee and says very loudly "Move it fattie!" He immediately gets up and leaves. It turns out that earlier that day he had been moving through people on the bus to get off and got stuck behind her. They both got off at the same stop so she got a good look at him 😆

In regards to Ted Baker I guess they've changed their stance as I got a really gorgeous emerald green pyjama set in a size 22 reduced to £7 in the clearance section on Next website. Really wouldn't have paid the original £48 though

During a city break in Italy, my mum went into a clothing boutique to buy a gift for someone else. As soon as she walked in, a woman who worked there stood in front of her, gestured vaguely at my mum's body and said "no..." with a sneering face.

So fucking rude, regardless of any language barrier.

I had a similar experience looking for wedding dresses with a woman in one shop being quite snearing towards me. She clearly couldn't be arsed with me as she left me standing to go and say hello to someone more important. Left me stood over 10 minutes to the extent I was thinking I needed to leave.
When she did come to help me try on stuff she kept saying about things that might be 'more in my budget'. She hadn't asked what my budget was! She also said I'd 'left it a bit late' even though it was 10 months before my wedding and every other shop had said that was the perfect time to look. She weirdly didn't ask me my opinion on anything just told me if something was right or not.
I had decided I wasn't going to give them any of my money but I really liked one of the dresses. So I found another stockists that was further away and went there to try in on for a second time. They were absolutely lovely and I ended up buying that dress.

Got similar looking at a newbuild house from a posh developer - sales assistant, basically looking us up and down and sneering - "Well, you know, these houses start at £x". Me to husband, "Well, you know, these are only 4 bed and we'll get (over 75% of the cost) from the sale of our 5 bed, saying as we're mortgage free, and then we can easily liquidise the other 25%, couldn't we? That wouldn't be too problematic. However, (smiles at saleswoman triumphantly) I think I'd like to look at the Bellway ones down the road instead." Swans out of sales office, leaving saleswoman looking a bit sick. We'd only gone in to get decorating ideas from the lovely show house. 😂

Assistant sounds like a b!tch - which is an interesting attitude for someone who works there and is unlikely to be able to afford to buy the clothes at full price themselves - the irony (and yes I know I’m judging but sales assistants often aren’t paid shed loads of money so unless they have a lucrative side-hustle which they probably don’t then I can’t see how they could afford them 🤷‍♀️). It might be jealously?

Personally I’d name and shame the business so others can avoid like the plague!

Your husband sounds very supportive which is fantastic.

I hope you enjoy the wedding.

Your DH is brilliant! i wish I was as quick with my reply when I had a similar moment. Getting a quote for a new kitchen, I wanted a particular worktop - the manager had already falsely told me only they stocked it, got out a cheap nasty plastic coated sample of worktop that he thought would be ‘in my budget’ and then told me that he wanted the ferrari parked outside but we can’t all get what we want. Went elsewhere for the kitchen and got a better worktop too.

I’m so sorry she was so horrid and I truly hope you don’t allow the ignorance of one individual to run into your whole experience of your DD’s wedding and your place as MotB.
For some shared empathy, I’ll share my similar(ish) story.
I love shoes. They’re my ‘thing’. I bought my wedding dress and my DH to-be offered to pay for the shoes of my dreams. Proper designer ones - a kindofa Carrie Bradshaw moment.
My BFF was naturally delighted to accompany me on such a trip and we trawled from high end designer to designer looking for ‘the’ pair. I eventually decided on some gorgeous shoes (the store can remain unnamed) and duly asked for my size (41 - I’m 5’10”… clearly wasn’t going to have size 5 feet!) and I’ll never forget the look of distain on the assistant’s face.
“41?! Oh no, I’m afraid the Bridal range doesn’t cater to THAT size”
I was mortified but before I could scuttle out in embarrassment at clearly being ‘oversized’, my BFF retorted with “Oh, I’m dreadfully sorry, we didn’t realise you had to be from Lilliput to get married. What a shame you’re losing out on X amount of sales”.
I was often teased about having ‘big’ feet when I was younger so it played back to so many insecurities at that moment.
My BBF made me persevere (after some wine!) and I ended up with the most fabulous Manolo’s. Never again will I have such funds to spend on shoes but still they bring me joy and I’ve worn them many times.
Honestly… it’s not about the money for me or for you - says more about that it vacuous woman who made such a judgement. Sending every best wish for a wonderful day :)

I truly hope that the sales girl reads this!! So good that you dh thought of a response immediately. That's the sort of thing that afterwards I'd think, oh I should have said xxx.
There's some great stories on here

I always found the difference between Selfridges and Harrods quite remarkable in terms of niceness of staff. All the way back from my first visit ever to London staff at Harrods greeted me nicely, when I wasn’t intending to buy anything. Now fast forward and with teens who are into designer clothes I still favour getting them in Harrods because of how ill mannered Selfridges are. You see a woman trailing round behind a crowd of teens in serious designers who are also FaceTiming friends in serious clothes. Give her a chair, she’ll be there for a long time. And the commission will be worth it. I’ve had genuinely lovely conversations with the people in Harrods who took the time with a very insecure kid to coach them on tailoring and altering they could do. They could see him shrinking behind his mates. I’d have bought that salesman a house in gratitude. In fact I think I would go as far as saying he may have helped stave off the beginnings of body hatred in that kid

I love your husband!!!
I'm so pleased you found "your" dress and I'm sure you look bloody fabulous in it!
What a nasty piece of work that "sales" lady was!!!