Should I get my 6 year old a tutor

[alwaysworri]

I struggle helping my 6 year old because once he comes home from school he gets all moody and doesn't want to do anything I suggest. I usually just about manage to get him to do a reading book, but his writing is terrible, maths seems ok, not pushed forward on anything though.

I occasionally manage to trick him into writing a birthday card. Ideally he'd just write a couple of sentences a night homework, but he won't. He will literally mess around for hours not doing it. So even if I say no screen time, he still won't do it. School gave us an example of writing standard for going into year 2 in September and his is way way way below this, with still some letters backwards and lack of finger spacing, no attempt at cursive.

Should I get a tutor once a week or just leave him? I worry as my parents said I was the same ( stubborn) and I got really behind at school and never learned spellings or time tables, because they didn't do homework with me. Well maybe I acted like my Ds, but I suspect my parents didn't bother as they don't believe in homework. I do remember asking my parents to test me on spellings though and them refusing. I want to help Ds, he just doesn't want me to. I feel like I'm not being the parent I promised to be.

That's a really good tip. We have a blackboard in our hallway and write out words of the week on it. DS has a try before we head out to school. It does work. He is more motivated at this time of day.

There’s definitely room to sneak in some learning (whether or not you decide to get a tutor). You could try: getting him to write your shopping list and then get him to cross things off in store (I sweetened the deal with a treat) you read to him but get him to do one page/paragraph, games such as hangman etc, drawing dinosaurs and labelling them and sending them as “gifts” to grandparents. Aunts etc in a hand written card. (I used to write letters to my grandparents. I miss letter writing! ) He is still young enough that colouring/drawing will help him with pencil control which will benefit his writing. Good luck with it.

Get a white board from IKEA with markers in lots of colours. I used to make stories with super hero's and dinosaurs. Pretend Shopping list or write names of friends or family for a tea party. A few words short words a day together and then slowly make the child add to it. Slowly move to paper pencil for practise. Buy those pencil grips for pencils.

Your ds handwriting is better than my ds who is 18, has 9 GCSE's & is educated to A level standard. He has hypotonia & his muscle tone means he will never improve his writing. He has done work on a laptop ever since he was diagnosed age 9, it has never held him back.

Before you get a tutor, get him reading.

Don't force him, make it part of your routine. If you have room set up a reading corner with a book shelf, maybe some fairy lights.

If you don't have room then a couple of cushions on the floor.

Every day YOU sit in the reading corner to read, he can sit with you and if he wants he can read a book, or you can read to him or you can both read together.

This only needs to be 15 - 20 mins.

Maybe start in the summer holidays and if you are at home then do it early in the day, just after breakfast or lunch.

Is your DS at 'expected' standard at his last report and did he get at least expected at the end of Reception?
If not, it might be worth seeing if a tutor changes things?
If yes, maybe leave it another year and continue games etc with a view to getting a tutor in year 3 - if he is still not at the expected level of his age by end of year 2 (as maturity often kicks in in year 2 and eg summer borns aren't as noticeable etc)

As a paediatric OT I see much worse writing than that in y1!
The thing that turned DS's hand writing around was 10 mins intervention DAILY by the class TA in yrs 4and 5. it's written into his IDP.

Would school be prepared to support him? Often kids are more compliant in school because it's the place they expect to work. Home is for play and relaxation.

My old neighbour, who I'm still close with, has a very lively son just a bit older than your son. She was at her wits end, and was really concerned that he was falling behind a lot at school. She's got a tutor now who he sees once a week and it's completely changed their lives. He does his homework with her, his confidence has grown, and they've even implemented methods to get him to do his school work which his teachers in school are now using.
She's using a national company, and she's been blown away by how good they are. Let me know if you'd like their details x

My friend invested in a tutor and in her words "it was the best investment she ever made" - she was having daily battles with her son about doing his 'homework', reading books, having a hobby etc. The difference in him is night and day - he used to be quite immature and a handful, whereas now he really enjoys learning and engages at school. I can pass on the details of who she uses - I've already signed up my daughter to use them from September

Yes our tutors are also the absolute best investment we have made and in terms of tutor's v private education I think they are even better because they build a rapport with your DC, they can specifically target what they need.

I wouldn't hesitate op but do say you would like a trial..
We tried a few and one was all computer games whereas my dd needs sensory stuff, a mix of white board, computer, real life games, actual real physical examples to assist her.

As biscuit said ,once you start to fall behind it can become a slippery slope and how can any teacher focus on one child when they have to cover frontal adverbials one day??
They really can't and ta etc will most likely be with the children who have identified learning needs or an ehcp.

So do it...do all the other tips but tutors are a luxury they really are and my dd has absolutely blossomed with her's! It's 40 mins maths once a week and 45 mins English once a week, we don't do many other curricular stuff it's really not a hardship for her

My current frame of reference is my personal tutees as university, but my experience with them is very much in keeping with the PPs who say that the right tutor, for a limited time, really turned things around for their DC. And when I was a student I was sometimes lucky enough to be that tutor - it is a really gratifying job when you fit well with the child, and get feedback that they are improving and gaining confidence from that.